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Blue leader standing by!

I see someone read the original novelisation of Episode IV.

Yeah, I hear Someone tends to prefer novelizations to the original films. It's kind of weird.

Elomin! I am you from the future! 10 minutes from now(Now being when you're reading this), an evil version of you from 2 hours in your future will appear to kill you. This will put into motion a series of events that leads to you and Robo4900 being the only people left on the planet!

And trust me, spend more than about 2 seconds with this guy, and you'll go so mad, you'll want to go back in time to try to kill yourself before this mess even started, unwittingly putting into motion the series of events that causes you to be stuck with him, which will then make you realise this was a bad decision, and you'll have to use Robo's time-bending computer to send yourself a message warning you about this occurrence.

Robo4900 wrote:Elomin! I am you from the future! 10 minutes from now(Now being when you're reading this), an evil version of you from 2 hours in your future will appear to kill you. This will put into motion a series of events that leads to you and Robo4900 being the only people left on the planet!

And trust me, spend more than about 2 seconds with this guy, and you'll go so mad, you'll want to go back in time to try to kill yourself before this mess even started, unwittingly putting into motion the series of events that causes you to be stuck with him, which will then make you realise this was a bad decision, and you'll have to use Robo's time-bending computer to send yourself a message warning you about this occurrence.

Elomin, I am from 12 minutes in your future! Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to trick you into killing your past self so he can take command of the alien robot army that appears in 48 minutes himself and rule the bag!

Elomin! Kapol Kapol Kapol! Pol, Kap Kapol!

I know how to rectify the situation: I'm going to commit suicide. I'll be back later.

Don't blame me, blame the people who don't like me being honest. Looks blank, bare, lifeless, fun sucking mess.

Needs more fire and explosions.

*Mixes giant bag of thermite, lights an oxy-acetylene torch then pushes the whole lot into a giant pile of magnesium shavings.*
That should begin warming things up. Wait here while I go get in the hydrogen tanker.

Puny humans.

I
AM
GOD

Bit of a conundrum since I'm atheist.

Out of curiosity, which type of god are you?

Like, the singular all-powerful entity type of god, the Greek type of god where you're the god of one thing among a whole pantheon, or like a Dragon Ball god where you have a specific duty that you are supposed to do, but you basically end up just sitting around dumping exposition?

I am Reality.
I tell you things how they are, not how you want them to be.

So, exposition dumper it is.

Well then, o holy one, please answer me this ancient conundrum that has passed down the generations, and yet not even the wisest sage on the tallest mountain in the world could answer -- why do hot dogs come in packs of 10, but hot dog buns come in packs of 8?

Chow Yung Fat likes hot dogs, and he can have two double dogs.

*Pours liquid nitrogen into the barbeque, then stacks a couple of bricks of dry ice on top*

What? How else are we going to get them well done without being over cooked on the outside? With all this fire around things get a tad "crunchy".

It's fire... It's always fire

And who doesn't need a little fire in their life?

im da fire yall need

Are you on the roof, though?

Elomin on a Hot Tin Roof.

"Knock knock cowards, want some candy?"