The depressing depression thread

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JustAName
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby JustAName » 11 Jun 2015, 07:43

Eh, I think this was just a bit of irritation I had to work out of my system. I've only got to hang on for ten more weeks, and then I've pretty much got everything I currently want out of life. Sorry to mope.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 11 Jun 2015, 08:13

Alone.
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Dutch guy
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Dutch guy » 11 Jun 2015, 08:23

the_lone_bard wrote:I am so thoroughly not caught up on this thread, but, who said you have to have it together to be there for them?

I'm about as much of a psychological wreck as you can get at this point, and I'm still there for my friends. And they're there for me. Everyone is built differently, and can take a different level of stress. This is why 2 people, when faced with identicle horrible situations react differently, one might commit suicide and another might come out of it stronger, determined to live a happy life and make the most of it. You can't judge your friend for dropping out just because she had a lighter course load than you. You might have handled her course with ease, but if she didn't I'd say if she was faced with yours she'd have collapsed under the weight of it quicker. People are just different like that, and to make it more complicated some people can handle different types of stress better than others. Psychology's fun like that!

But, where did you ever get the notion you don't have a right to complain? There is no heirarchy of badness. There is just bad. If something is bad for you, it's bad for you, and therefore you are entitled to talk about it, and your friends should be supporting you with it. The same way you support them. When they talk to you about their problems, you don't turn around and start talking about how much worse you have it do you? Then why should they do that? And if they do, what gives them the right? That's not a sign of someone having a bad time, it's the sign of someone who is after attention rather than help. I've been there and since cut out everyone in my life who did that. If they are a real friend, it should NEVER turn into a "Who's got it worse" competition. It should be two people there to support eachother through eachothers problems.

If you feel obligated to never mention your problems in the first place, then you shouldn't. Hell, I've spoken to you what, a dozen times in the past year including DB chat, and I'm happy to talk with you if you ever need it, and I'm not gonna sit here and go "Oh well she's got nothing compared to what I do!"

If you feel like you HAVE to be there for people, you don't. It's the sign of a good person that you feel this way, it means you have an abundance of empathy which helps make up for all the people who have none, but it's not your job to hold everyone else up. I made that mistake years back and nearly killed myself as a result, and everyone I know who's tried it has wound up going the same route I did... Some didn't stop at nearly.

I know it probably goes against your instincts, but you need to stop trying to hold everyone else up while ignoring yourself. The people that aren't willing to be there for you simply because they have bigger problems than yours aren't the sort of people you should be interested in helping to begin with. And if you just don't feel like you can mention your problems, again, different people can take different levels of different things, your problems aren't any less valid than theirs, ya know how I know that? Because they're your PROBLEMS not your minor annoyances. Let me put it this way. 1 person gets raped. 1 person gets beaten so bad they wind up in hopstitle. Objectively, a beating heals. Does the person who got beat into hopstitle have no right to complain about it?


This whole thing reminded me of this TED talk. The takeaway for me was that statement: "Hard is not relative. Hard is just... hard" "There is no harder, there is just hard".

It's no use comparing our misery to that of others. Things are hard. Thats it.
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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 11 Jun 2015, 22:01

*offers Merrymaker_Mortalis hugs*
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TheMoatman
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby TheMoatman » 13 Jun 2015, 01:01

I could almost set my watch by the signs of a depressive episode. First I get and stay hungry. Then I start watching anime. Then two weeks later I'm in the middle of a full on episode and don't want to do much of anything except curl up and sleep.
e: :shock: Never had that happen before
Last edited by TheMoatman on 13 Jun 2015, 01:04, edited 1 time in total.
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Phi
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Phi » 13 Jun 2015, 07:46

I feel particularly hopeless today, and extra lonely.. I keep telling myself that things can get better, and work to try to make them better. Today, I just can't believe these words. It just doesn't seem true.
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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 13 Jun 2015, 19:46

TheMoatman wrote:I could almost set my watch by the signs of a depressive episode. First I get and stay hungry. Then I start watching anime. Then two weeks later I'm in the middle of a full on episode and don't want to do much of anything except curl up and sleep.
e: :shock: Never had that happen before


Is the getting hungry thing something you can control to some degree? Not enough nutrients reaching your brain over a period of time will contribute to things like depression if it doesn't cause it in the first place.

It's hard for me to feel full after eating any amount when I'm really stressed out or recovering from major disappointment or something similar...also hunger doesn't come on gradually as much...like suddenly I could eat a horse out of nowhere.
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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 13 Jun 2015, 19:54

Phi wrote:I feel particularly hopeless today, and extra lonely.. I keep telling myself that things can get better, and work to try to make them better. Today, I just can't believe these words. It just doesn't seem true.


Have you ever been on DesertBus IRC? A lot of us go there when lonely...or just for fun. Can't promise it will always be the sort of company you need at any given moment but many of the people on there like helping/being friendly. It's also moderated. Hope you do feel better soon.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 13 Jun 2015, 20:16

Rikadyn wrote:the day will come when
I must say goodbye
but I know already
that I am forgotten, so
I look at this old
rusted blade...
I no longer fear that day
but wish for it with
every breath.


Are you ok? Haven't had much time to look on here beyond a few quick moments between packing and relocating again. Hope it's not worse than when you posted.
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AdmiralMemo
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 14 Jun 2015, 05:01

I'm feeling the onset of depression again... I keep thinking that I'm a fraud of a human being, where I can't support myself either economically or emotionally, and I have no one to help me to do either. I'm freaking 33 years old. Shouldn't I have this figured out by now? Shouldn't I at least have some prospects on a social life, which could eventually lead to romance, then marriage, where I could have someone there for me?
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MetricFurlong
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby MetricFurlong » 14 Jun 2015, 10:30

Danielle Pepin wrote:
Rikadyn wrote:the day will come when
I must say goodbye
but I know already
that I am forgotten, so
I look at this old
rusted blade...
I no longer fear that day
but wish for it with
every breath.


Are you ok? Haven't had much time to look on here beyond a few quick moments between packing and relocating again. Hope it's not worse than when you posted.

He doesn't seem to have been on the forums since making that post.
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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 14 Jun 2015, 12:58

Alex is doing a surprise stream right now which sometimes cheers people up a bit...it's not drawing though: http://www.twitch.tv/voxlunch
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 14 Jun 2015, 13:09

Another Sunday of feeling low in the evening.

I'm just tired.

Played in the evening service band at my church and I played songs I didn't really like. I left the service feeling not good.
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Tinasaur
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Tinasaur » 15 Jun 2015, 05:56

This isn't living, this is just existing. I've worked so hard to get better but it's only gotten worse and no matter what I do I can't turn my life around. I'm detached from the world around me and from myself. I can't keep this up.
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Rikadyn
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Rikadyn » 15 Jun 2015, 06:20

Danielle Pepin wrote:
Rikadyn wrote:the day will come when
I must say goodbye
but I know already
that I am forgotten, so
I look at this old
rusted blade...
I no longer fear that day
but wish for it with
every breath.


Are you ok? Haven't had much time to look on here beyond a few quick moments between packing and relocating again. Hope it's not worse than when you posted.


Just biding my time anymore, the day is approaching when it will be finished...
the heart knows no greater tragedy than a breath that begins in love and ends in grief...
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Phi
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Phi » 15 Jun 2015, 13:39

Rikadyn, my email is [email protected] and my skype is LotusPhi. Whatever it is you are going through, you don't have to be alone.
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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 15 Jun 2015, 16:52

Rikadyn, see pm for a link to hotlines in case there's an urgent need for someone to talk to immediately. I recall also linking online chat contacts earlier to people trained to chat online in similar capacity.

*hugs*

PS Alex just started stream again on voxlunch.
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AdmiralMemo
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 15 Jun 2015, 17:14

I'm thinking of starting a Skype multi-person room for people from this thread to talk to when needed. Would that be a good idea? Anyone want in on it?

Alternately, we could use the LRR Mumble and ask for a room to be set up for the Depression Thread.
Tinasaur wrote:This isn't living, this is just existing. I've worked so hard to get better but it's only gotten worse and no matter what I do I can't turn my life around. I'm detached from the world around me and from myself. I can't keep this up.
Yeah, this is basically me right now.
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Danielle Pepin » 15 Jun 2015, 22:31

AdmiralMemo, it's a good idea. Must mention I hope it also includes some moderators that may serve just to monitor it so it doesn't end up worst case scenario of negativity feeding on negativity in a downward spiral on all ends when there's a lack of balance in the room...as with some families I've been surrounded by it gets harder to not "snowball" worse when surrounded by similar mindsets. Could be a very good thing too that aside.
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AdmiralMemo
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 16 Jun 2015, 06:22

I've got 4 people in the room currently, as me and the 3 I saw being the most frequent Skype names thrown around in the thread for support, and hope to add more. :)
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Ojii
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Ojii » 19 Jun 2015, 15:55

AdmiralMemo wrote:I'm thinking of starting a Skype multi-person room for people from this thread to talk to when needed. Would that be a good idea? Anyone want in on it?

Alternately, we could use the LRR Mumble and ask for a room to be set up for the Depression Thread.
Tinasaur wrote:This isn't living, this is just existing. I've worked so hard to get better but it's only gotten worse and no matter what I do I can't turn my life around. I'm detached from the world around me and from myself. I can't keep this up.
Yeah, this is basically me right now.


aren't multi-person skype rooms a paid feature on skype? (I think they were at least last time I used skype) Maybe hangout or something instead? Really good idea though!
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 19 Jun 2015, 15:57

Nope. We have a LRR-Crafter's part on skype. Not much crafting goes on.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby BlueChloroplast » 19 Jun 2015, 17:29

We did a video chat crafting circle one time, but then we forgot the time or were busy; so we mostly just use the text chat. But I will be crafting more soon on my Desert Bus project.
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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 19 Jun 2015, 18:32

I think I need to leave this community and never return. :( I apparently can't interact with normal people correctly. :(

Why do I screw up everything I interact with? :(
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Re: The depressing depression thread

Postby BlueChloroplast » 19 Jun 2015, 19:00

Please stay Memo. "Normal People" feel that way too, I have heard several highly social highschool/university aged girls/women say "lol I'm so awkward, I can't go talk to them" or "lol it was so awkward I totally said the wrong thing". Often we feel like we were awkward or messed up but we were not or did not.

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