The depressing depression thread

[Phi]

Thanks for the support, lrrfolk. I have been vegan for 7 years and my depression (which started before that) never seemed to be correlated to my nutrition. I am just a flimsy-minded person who gets insecure very easily.

[Phi]

I passed the pre-exam for art studies in Finland, and was invited for an interview and exams. It is nice to feel like, finally, I might be good enough for something.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

During my most recent bout of counselling, I am having some of my deepest personal philosophies shaken in ways I never thought I could permit, being made to admit things that I am not usually willing to share with anyone else on the planet, and am being summarily beaten at my own game when it comes to knowing my own mind.

And I am fucking loving it. Seriously, this is one of the most interesting, rewarding things I've ever been through.

[Arclight_Dynamo]

Yep. I'm having a similar experience with my psychiatrist. I've admitted things I never thought I would, and have learned things about myself I never even knew I didn't know. And my shrink has hinted that she knows more stuff going on inside my head, that I'm not ready to talk about yet. Can't wait to hear it, and learn a bit more about me.

[Danielle Pepin]

Congrats, Phi!

Ix and Arclight_Dynamo, great to hear you're both feeling improvement too.

[Danielle Pepin]

But it's always worth asking: who or what am I angry at?

In this case, it was particularly LRL Chat that I was upset at. Long story short, I was like "Please don't do the thing because it won't help me" and no less than three people immediately did the thing.

People are often trolls in LRL more so than DB chat it seems. With trolls it may be best to tell them to not do something you want them to do so they will do the thing you want instead of what you don't want...or they'll do both but at least one of them would be a wanted thing.

I hope the struggling isn't happening more or less alone...cause it gets very hard to be your own intervention against the depression lying sort of thoughts...not entirely impossible but much easier with someone outside of your head being the objective view, or the springboard...or whatever it need be.

Phi, regarding nutrition I think the blood tests may be just indicating you don't have dangerously low levels of vitamins needed...but I'm not sure how great it is on telling the percent of what is ideal for someone going through depression especially. Someone that is depressed should be more careful to get a higher amount of things like vitamin D and B complex (B helps with stress lowering)...also the exercise which is so difficult to fit in while the "spoons" are scarce. Some vitamins, I've been told, require a certain amount of UVB sun to get them to work in your system and not get wasted (similar to drinking coffee right after an orange will flush the vitamin C out instead of allowing it to get absorbed)....so even if your blood result is considered a pass level I'd bet there's probably still room for more (as long as it's not overboard OD on something like iron which can be just as bad as too little). I recently decided to get more "dairy" equivalents and found a B complex that doesn't leave awful taste in the mouth.

[Danielle Pepin]

I haven't read this book but someone I know said that it helped them...which you may not even have to buy to read.

http://amzn.to/1S9AwL0

[Dutch guy]

I think this deserves sharing here too:
TomSka's non-depressing video on depression




Btw, I have come to the conclusion there have been a lot of helpful links and information posted in this thread over the last 105 pages. Does anybody think it would be a good idea for me to edit the first post and compile some of that information right there? And what to put there?

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

I really miss my friend...

[Danielle Pepin]

*offers Merrymaker_Mortalis hugs*

[Danielle Pepin]

I think this deserves sharing here too:
TomSka's non-depressing video on depression

Btw, I have come to the conclusion there have been a lot of helpful links and information posted in this thread over the last 105 pages. Does anybody think it would be a good idea for me to edit the first post and compile some of that information right there? And what to put there?

That's a great idea! A lot of links are better when not buried.

[Jenelmo]

As part of my education i have to be in a 20 week internship this fall and i am trying to write an application letter to different companies, and i am getting stuck on why they should choose me, i have been trying to write this letter for the last week but i can for the life of my not come up with a good reason for why they should pick me

[Dutch guy]

As part of my education i have to be in a 20 week internship this fall and i am trying to write an application letter to different companies, and i am getting stuck on why they should choose me, i have been trying to write this letter for the last week but i can for the life of my not come up with a good reason for why they should pick me

Writing applications is hard. Especially for people who can't/won't brag about themselves a bit.

Is there anything in your eductation that you do well at? (Or atleast above your own average). Any subjects you are interested in that just seem to come much easier than others?

[Lord Chrusher]

I am a bit stressed out about work.

[Phi]

I am a bit stressed out about work.

Same here, you are not alone in these feels.

[JustAName]

For people afraid of meds altering their personality:







(Source)

[Tinasaur]

I've been plagued by thoughts of killing myself.

[Lord Chrusher]

I am a bit stressed out about work.

Rather than having a nice relaxing Easter long weekend, I have to write and submit two telescope proposals by the 31st. One of the proposals is for a telescope and an instrument I have never used before or proposed for. April 1st and 2nd I have two nights

On top of this is the pressure to publish, publish, publish.

[Master Gunner]

I've been plagued by thoughts of killing myself.

The world would truly be a sadder place without you. Is there anything you want to talk about?

[AdmiralMemo]

Whenever I have suicidal thoughts, it's generally less of "I should kill myself" and more "I believe I've lost all reasons to stay alive."
There's a certain qualitative difference between "I want to shoot my head off" and "If I lay down and sleep, maybe there's a chance I'll have a heart attack and not wake up."
While both are important, the first is a bit more urgent to take care of.

Right now, I'm feeling a bit of the second type.

[Tinasaur]

The world would truly be a sadder place without you. Is there anything you want to talk about?

Thank you for your kind words. I was encouraged to talk yesterday so I'm feeling brave enough to share a bit. I've been having bouts of serious thoughts of suicide and if I'd had a surefire way I might've just done it with the way I've felt the past week. I'm running out of options on what to do. No medications or support from the hospital is working and I just don't have any hope for the future. The equation of life boils down to that my suffering will be too much and staying alive won't be worth it.
At this point though I've calmed down a bit and since it's easter I have plenty of opportunity to hang out with friends so I'm occupied and not alone.

[CamelKnackRambleHort]

The world would truly be a sadder place without you. Is there anything you want to talk about?

Thank you for your kind words. I was encouraged to talk yesterday so I'm feeling brave enough to share a bit. I've been having bouts of serious thoughts of suicide and if I'd had a surefire way I might've just done it with the way I've felt the past week. I'm running out of options on what to do. No medications or support from the hospital is working and I just don't have any hope for the future. The equation of life boils down to that my suffering will be too much and staying alive won't be worth it.
At this point though I've calmed down a bit and since it's easter I have plenty of opportunity to hang out with friends so I'm occupied and not alone.

If you need someone to talk to I might be able to help a bit. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for around 4 or 5 years now, so I understand what it feels like. I hope things improve for you!

[Deedles]

The world would truly be a sadder place without you. Is there anything you want to talk about?

Thank you for your kind words. I was encouraged to talk yesterday so I'm feeling brave enough to share a bit. I've been having bouts of serious thoughts of suicide and if I'd had a surefire way I might've just done it with the way I've felt the past week. I'm running out of options on what to do. No medications or support from the hospital is working and I just don't have any hope for the future. The equation of life boils down to that my suffering will be too much and staying alive won't be worth it.
At this point though I've calmed down a bit and since it's easter I have plenty of opportunity to hang out with friends so I'm occupied and not alone.

Glad to hear that you're getting the chance to meet friends and go outside. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but if it is then it's really helpful. It might seem like an endless slog at times, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, as long as we just hold on. <3

[AdmiralMemo]

So apparently I'm stupid and what I love is stupid and I'm a stupid person for loving it.

[Dutch guy]

So apparently I'm stupid and what I love is stupid and I'm a stupid person for loving it.

And you were told that by a stupid person with a stupid opinion who is stupid for having an opinion on what people should think is stupid. Don't let em get to you Memo. If you love it, it's not stupid.