Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

[Phailhammer]

Yep, my internet connection is still a slow pile of garbage. :/

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Researching an article about historical war crimes & civilian death tolls (which, among other things, lead to a readthrough of the Wikipedia article on War Rape) is not a pleasant experience...

[auberginequeen]

It's been two weeks since I talked to my thesis supervisor about my project and all I've managed to do is collect a bunch of articles and skim a few of them. I don't have a lot of self-discipline, and I keep berating myself for not being further than I am. My brain keeps saying, "I should be working" and then I just don't do it. Not even "I'll start at 10... well, maybe another hour..." I just keep doing other things. There is no conscious thought going on there.

It's not even particularly hard to do, just time-consuming. That, and every time I try to work on it all I can think is "I bet they're wondering what I'm doing with my time, wondering why I haven't emailed them with an update. This isn't helping me look good" and then I do nothing. I shouldn't even be here posting this.

I also can't get anything else accomplished because all I can think is "I should be working." For example, my room is really messy right now. There's a giant pile of clothes on one half of the bed, and my desk is covered in empty cans, half-eaten chip bags, and other detritus. I can't will myself to clean because I should be using that time to work.

[Bebop Man]

If there is one thing that I envy religious people is their sense of community. Strike that, I'm talking about the people that even with the faintest religious background are drawn together by that very background, as if personal or individual merit meant less to them than identifying with a specific religious dogma.

I'm thinking of all my jewish friends. They do everything together. One of them says something, and everybody else comments on that. One of them takes a picture, and everybody is in it. They're not just friends, they're practically family. They're not particularly religious or lead orthodox lives. They're jewish by birth right and that has them socially covered somehow.

And all the while I'm thinking, I have gained exactly zero companionship by being an agnostic atheist with little religious background. Disbelief doesn't unify people, even if you share it! Consent is what unifies people! And yet spiritually speaking I seem to be doomed to categorize myself around the things I don't believe in rather than the ones that I do. Why do I have to be "person who doesn't believe/acknowledge god"?

That's about it. I just wish I had a "social family" to fall back on now and then. I know there're a lot of crackpot sects that prey on these very feelings of loneliness and out-of-place(ness?) and for that I already resent my feelings. I sense that this is the kind of thing you're either born into or never belong in at all.

[Phailhammer]

For all the shiny new technology in UTS Building 11, you'd think they could have placed a couple of rubbish bins around.

[Deedles]

If there is one thing that I envy religious people is their sense of community. Strike that, I'm talking about the people that even with the faintest religious background are drawn together by that very background, as if personal or individual merit meant less to them than identifying with a specific religious dogma.

I'm thinking of all my jewish friends. They do everything together. One of them says something, and everybody else comments on that. One of them takes a picture, and everybody is in it. They're not just friends, they're practically family. They're not particularly religious or lead orthodox lives. They're jewish by birth right and that has them socially covered somehow.

And all the while I'm thinking, I have gained exactly zero companionship by being an agnostic atheist with little religious background. Disbelief doesn't unify people, even if you share it! Consent is what unifies people! And yet spiritually speaking I seem to be doomed to categorize myself around the things I don't believe in rather than the ones that I do. Why do I have to be "person who doesn't believe/acknowledge god"?

That's about it. I just wish I had a "social family" to fall back on now and then. I know there're a lot of crackpot sects that prey on these very feelings of loneliness and out-of-place(ness?) and for that I already resent my feelings. I sense that this is the kind of thing you're either born into or never belong in at all.

I joined my sister's religious group when I was around 12, because I was lonely. I had no friends in school, and none outside of it, and I'd seen what a wonderful group of people they were when my sister took me along to game parties, or just hangouts, and I wanted to be part of it.

But I couldn't, the more it was required of me to read the bible (which I did) and believe what I was reading, the less I could do it. I tried to push on for a while, but quit in the end, because my belief wasn't sincere, and I didn't like lying to their faces. So I know what you mean, Bebop. In that point in time, and several times afterwards, I wished I could believe so that I could join that social group.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

If there is one thing that I envy religious people is their sense of community. Strike that, I'm talking about the people that even with the faintest religious background are drawn together by that very background, as if personal or individual merit meant less to them than identifying with a specific religious dogma.

I'm thinking of all my jewish friends. They do everything together. One of them says something, and everybody else comments on that. One of them takes a picture, and everybody is in it. They're not just friends, they're practically family. They're not particularly religious or lead orthodox lives. They're jewish by birth right and that has them socially covered somehow.

And all the while I'm thinking, I have gained exactly zero companionship by being an agnostic atheist with little religious background. Disbelief doesn't unify people, even if you share it! Consent is what unifies people! And yet spiritually speaking I seem to be doomed to categorize myself around the things I don't believe in rather than the ones that I do. Why do I have to be "person who doesn't believe/acknowledge god"?

That's about it. I just wish I had a "social family" to fall back on now and then. I know there're a lot of crackpot sects that prey on these very feelings of loneliness and out-of-place(ness?) and for that I already resent my feelings. I sense that this is the kind of thing you're either born into or never belong in at all.

I can see what you mean.
I'm a Christian myself (though it keeps being tested almost constantly), but I don't actually go to any gatherings of people.
I've never enjoyed attending services. I enjoyed the singing (when the lyrics aren't disturbing), but the actual services I never gotten into. I occasionally attend a service out the blue once in a while, but nothing's struck at me yet. I don't feel like I ought to go to church/chapel because I feel like I ought to. Only when I want to. Even when I saw my sister get Baptised it was "meh". I went to support her, but personally I didn't get anything.

My sister is a regular church goer to a "local" church (a church that's 4 miles road away. 1 mile if you can fly across the sea). Over time I've been introduced to her friends who go to the church. I get along well with them (ignoring the single homophobe and the science skeptic who has now gone away). They're cool people and I enjoy doing things with them outside of a religious context. I still don't want to go to a church service at their church because I won't actually get to spend much time with them, most of it will be sitting in a thing I won't be getting much from. Besides, the buses on Sundays are hell (lol pun).

We're going to Spain together in August (one of us used to live in Barcelona before he moved to Wales) and invited us to stay with his family. We're going to attend a service in their local Church. It will be conducted bilingually (English and Spanish. Though technically, Welsh probably might be better, but ssh. It's kind that they're including us). So I'm interested to have a flavour of what a church service in Spain might be like.

Bepop Man, perhaps you could find a group of people who enjoy discussing philosophy and theology. Yes you have the side of Christianity which is about "Praise the Lord and Jesus who died and forgave my sins 'till eternity" etc.. but you also have people who are fascinated with exploring human nature. A more philosophical approach to Christianity and Human Nature. Christianity isn't unique in its thinking. People have been thinking about the darkness and light of humans for many many centuries. I actually enjoy discussing Christian themes when the conversation isn't explicitly about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

You do have people who are quite, um, "focused". But yeah. People are varied, even within a single Organised Religions (you even have different sects within Christianity). There's a group out there where you probably could enjoy their company without faith being rammed down your throat.

The group of my sister's friends, the only faithy things that come up are when they send each other greetings cards with passages from the Bible written in or sometimes grace is said when eaten food. Other than that, they're just people who happen to go to Church on a Sunday.

This was meant to be encouraging rather than showy-offy. I am fortunate that my sister is a such a social person. But it did take like two years until I was actually integrated with her group. I think when she stopped asking me to attend religious events and invited me to unreligious events I went along.

[Bebop Man]

Thank you both for your understanding. It's just a recurring somber thought is all, and I'm probably more frustrated than sad if I decided to go with this thread. I don't think it's something I can get over by joining a religious group of some kind. Even if I were accepted I wouldn't really belong. I just envy that "brohood birth right" some religions/cultures like to boast. Nothing I can really do about it since I don't belong to any of them.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

Really, the only reason there's a brohood birth right is that the people all have a common interest; God/other thing.
Taking the spiritual side out of it, it's the same as on these forums. We all have a common interest; LoadingReadyRun.

It's probably not what you were liking the look of exactly, but, it's similar.

I can't speak fully on it, because I'm sort of an outsider of religion groups by choice. But it is a group of people unite by a common love. You can replace that love with anything else and you'd have a similar thing.
-
I could post a lot about why I feel like I cannot commit fully to an organised way of dealing with faith. But seeing how impenetrable *just so many pages to process to get up to speed) the Feminism thread is now, I'm not keen on starting one.

I always feel awkward politely declining invitations to faith-y things that I don't want to do on the grounds of "no thank you".

[Darkobra]

My throat is burning from throwing up blood. Wasn't sure at first. Thought it was just something I ate and it was just a reddish colour. Moved over to the sink and checked in the mirror. Blood in my mouth which came out when I spat into the sink. Definitely blood.

Now the worst is over. It's out my system. But can my throat and stomach just give me a break?

[viscomica]

My throat is burning from throwing up blood. Wasn't sure at first. Thought it was just something I ate and it was just a reddish colour. Moved over to the sink and checked in the mirror. Blood in my mouth which came out when I spat into the sink. Definitely blood.

Now the worst is over. It's out my system. But can my throat and stomach just give me a break?

I'm sorry to hear that, Darkobra. Have you gone to your doctor's already?

[Darkobra]

Nope. Happened an hour ago and doctor won't even be open until morning. Then they'll scan me, probe me, test me, shove things down my throat and tell me they can't find anything wrong with me and send me back home.

Just doesn't seem worth it.

[viscomica]

Hmm, alright. Take care of yourself, mate!

[Darkobra]

I'll either get better or I'll die! And if I die, I want buried and not burned. In Scotland. Not kidding. Buried.

Making it as public knowledge as possible in case some fucker decides to burn me and I'm too dead to argue.

[viscomica]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude don't joke around! you're not gonna die!

[viscomica]

(According to a medical opinion here, it could be tuberculosis or an ulcer. Go to the doctor, seriously. You seem like a nice dude, you shouldn't take your health so lightly!)

[Darkobra]

Could be anything and doctors here will just not find it. Then they'll have me months on a waiting list to get seen by a specialist who will just go "Huh" and send me a letter saying "You're alright." Same thing happened with my liver. I asked what it is, I just got "Not hepatitis."

That's great! But I'm still in a lot of pain and don't realise I've gone a week without food until someone points it out to me!

Given up on doctors helping me.

[viscomica]

Don't give up! I wish I knew some good doctor I could refer you to but unfortunately I'm too far away for that. Stay safe!

[Ptangmatik]

Call me crazy, but throwing up blood is one of those things I've always thought would pique a doctor's interest. If its an ulcer, at least antibiotics will make for an easy fix. I agree with Vis here, even if they tell you its nothing. Maybe put on some headphones and/or take a book so that you're ready for them to waste your time.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

And if they just shove you around, contact the "Concerns* Department" and explain your experience so no one else has to experience the same as you.

People "concern*" all the time, and they concern about legit things.


*Complain. It's a renaming to be, less, normal.

[Mums]

I wish my old boss would not try to avoid paying me for the times I worked there. It's not like we agreed on any kind of decent salary anyway...


Also, Darkobra, that blood thing is a reason to go to the emergency, not wait around for your lokal doctor to be ignorant. Seek out a real doctor damn it. They missed my grandmothers pancreatic cancer for a while because she "had probably drunk some bad wine"

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

I'm told cats killing things is natural and it's not my responsibility to stop it. But:

a) I got the pet cat. If my cat didn't exist, these mice and birds wouldn't be hunted by her. As a result, I have some responsibility.

b) If I witness a little shrew shaking in fear, and hear it scream for its life everytime it gets prodded by a cat, how the fuck do you expect me to sit back and let it go ahead? I will fucking intervene. I don't give a shit if it's not my responsibility. I am making it mine.

[Deedles]

[Mums]

I'm told cats killing things is natural and it's not my responsibility to stop it. But:

a) I got the pet cat. If my cat didn't exist, these mice and birds wouldn't be hunted by her. As a result, I have some responsibility.

b) If I witness a little shrew shaking in fear, and hear it scream for its life everytime it gets prodded by a cat, how the fuck do you expect me to sit back and let it go ahead? I will fucking intervene. I don't give a shit if it's not my responsibility. I am making it mine.

It's interesting what people consider to be interfering with nature and what's not. Also, if it's in your nature to want to help the shrew, wouldn't it be unnatural for you to go against those urges?

[Darkobra]

Call me crazy, but throwing up blood is one of those things I've always thought would pique a doctor's interest. If its an ulcer, at least antibiotics will make for an easy fix. I agree with Vis here, even if they tell you its nothing. Maybe put on some headphones and/or take a book so that you're ready for them to waste your time.

True enough. I'll take Street Fighter Alpha Max 3 or whatever words they threw into that to say "We have milked Street Fighter 3."

Also, Darkobra, that blood thing is a reason to go to the emergency, not wait around for your lokal doctor to be ignorant. Seek out a real doctor damn it. They missed my grandmothers pancreatic cancer for a while because she "had probably drunk some bad wine"

Stories like that make me angry and usually the reason I don't go because they've screwed me around. 3 years it took them to take me seriously about my back. They kept telling me to get some rest! 3 years later, got to physio. "Rest was the worst thing you could have done." Turns out two discs in my spine had stopped moving and a third disc was doing three times the work to compensate and was pinching a nerve.

But you know what? I'm going. I'll expect my time to be wasted but I'll keep going. Purely because the love of my life would not let me rest for a second when she hears about what happened last night. She'll be dragging me to hospital herself! So for her, I'll go.

She'd be telling me "You're not leaving me alone!" and she's right. I'm not. Might even take her with me! She won't let them rest!