Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

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Kapol
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Kapol » 13 Nov 2014, 04:51

Sure. Let's give the new guy who only about put out 100 cases in 8 hours 3 sections with almost 150 cases over 6 hours. Many of which are large items that are hard to put out and take longer. All while the other new person gets 75 cases and one section over the same time.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 13 Nov 2014, 05:20

Lets say "Buy a new PC" to everyone who has technical issues with running a game/programme with an old system.
Because clearly everyone who currently uses a computer of their own can afford to upgrade at anytime.

Clearly if you're spending any amount of time having a hobby you should be working to earn money. No one is allowed to sabbath.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Fenrir » 13 Nov 2014, 15:55

Not even so much as an explanation, you dodged when I asked if you'd been busy and yet could I be angry still? Could I hell. Goddamnit....
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Phailhammer » 13 Nov 2014, 21:59

30C inside, 35C outside, bushfires ~25 minutes away, and it's not even summer. -_-
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby viscomica » 14 Nov 2014, 08:17

Fenrir wrote:Not even so much as an explanation, you dodged when I asked if you'd been busy and yet could I be angry still? Could I hell. Goddamnit....

Isn't it "goddamn it"?
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 14 Nov 2014, 08:37

So, a quick summary of my day:
8:10am Cycle to medical centre in pouring rain
8:20am Have medical appointment. Blood tests reveal nothing interesting.
8:50-9:30am General panic amongst doctors over blood in my urine. Diagnosed initially as bruised kidney due to kickboxing, preventing me from sparring for the next while. I'm told to get over to the general hospital one town over (about a half-hour drive) for some 'urgent tests' that the hospital have requested, and for some reason to take someone with me. I'm not given a good reason as to why, just advised it'd be a good idea.
9:30am Cycle back from medical centre in even heavier rain.
10:30am Arrive at the hospital. Spend half an hour finding out where the hell I'm supposed to be. Arrive at ward- they have no idea who I am or what these 'urgent tests' are supposed to be. I get shafted over to triage and spend the next two hours having all the same tests done and questions asked as was done already, except much slower.
1pm: Am told that I've got to have an ultrasound done, that it'll probably be done in about 4 hours but they can't confirm yet because they can't ring the ultrasound department until half past. I am by this point so pissed off with the whole business that I discharge myself and drive home, apologising profusely to the poor bugger I dragged along on this 4 hour trip on advice of the fuppin' medical centre, where he proceeded to do sod all.
2pm-4pm Mechanics lecture. Proceed to not get much learning done in favour of being an insensitive douchebag to my best friend. Proceed to spend all the time between then and now worrying myself sick about the shit I said and if she's OK.

TL;DR- today has been fuckin' shite in every possible respect
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Shandi » 14 Nov 2014, 11:15

My pseudonym is Ix wrote:TL;DR- today has been fuckin' shite in every possible respect


I'm sorry about your day. That seriously sucks, but thanks a lot for sharing. I had a gauntlet of tests last week and an ultrasound scheduled for next week, but just got a call from my doctor's office to come in today. After reading about your experience, I'll be a bit more mentally prepared for any eventuality.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Valkyrie-Lemons » 14 Nov 2014, 11:16

Firstly, Lx, I hope tomorrow is much better for you because your day looks like it was terrible.


Secondly, my internet is just complete suckage.

I can't watch Desert Bus because it cannot stream properly, even on 'low' setting without buffering for half a minuet and then playing 3 minuets behind stream before abruptly shifting to live stream. Making it almost unwatchable.

Just reading chat is impossible because...well it's chat and it's impossible to decipher what they're shouting out corresponds on stream.

So yeah...I guess I'll only be able to watch DB when my internet decides to play nice. : /
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Kapol » 14 Nov 2014, 12:34

Just basically got fired from my first job. That I've had for just over a month. And I'm still likely going to work through DB.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Bebop Man » 14 Nov 2014, 17:05

viscomica wrote:
Fenrir wrote:Not even so much as an explanation, you dodged when I asked if you'd been busy and yet could I be angry still? Could I hell. Goddamnit....

Isn't it "goddamn it"?


It's all corruptions anyway. I don't think there's a stipulated spelling.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby AdmiralMemo » 15 Nov 2014, 05:16

Everything's fine when I go to sleep at the start of Beej's shift... I only semi-seriously asked to be texted if Ajani or either of the Mario giveawyas came up. In hindsight, I wish I was more adamant about this.

I wake up 5.5 hours later, feeling good. There are no texts. I check the giveaways for the three things I wanted. Site displays that they're still available, so I rejoice in Chat... Only for Chat to tell me that all three of them are gone. :( :evil:

Apparently, Beej's Team Zeta shift co-pilot was incompetent enough to not know how to mark the Giveaways as completed. :( :evil: I had nothing to look forward to for the entire rest of Beej's shift.

So while I'm pissed off at both missing the only three things I wanted on Beej's shift in less than half the time, and also being deceived by the Desert Bus site. Missing one, I could deal with... It happens... But all three, and then nothing to look forward to for 7.5 hours? That just sucks. I decide to try to make breakfast to cheer me up. In my tiltiness, I ended up accidentally spilling syrup all over my sheets. :(

So now I'm pissed off about three things, and mildly annoyed that Team Zeta is now doing nothing but repeating songs I'd heard shortly before going to sleep from Beta Shift... I'm looking for new bedsheets, and I can't find them because my mom put them away in some illogical place. I spent over half an hour looking for new sheets before ending up finding them. In that time, I find that one of my parents' cats has decided to get on top of my very tall dresser and knock down all of my signed pictures of me with celebrities, so they're all over the floor...

And then Flash crashed and I couldn't watch the stream anyway...

At this point, I'm considering just going back to sleep and just waking up for Alpha Shift again. :(
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Duckay » 15 Nov 2014, 10:05

Working midnight - 8am shift... i.e. If you get sick halfway through there's no chance in the world of finding a cover. Fun times.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby empath » 15 Nov 2014, 18:29

So the floor is covered with soapy water, and there's a mop & bucket sitting at the edge of that wet floor...

...so you take the mop - you probably needed to clean something up, cool - but JUST THE MOP, and left the now-useless bucket sitting there?

Seriously, I am starting to consider unemployment as a preferable alternative to continued employment in this hellhole.

Worst part, it had been a pretty good night up to that point.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby auberginequeen » 16 Nov 2014, 10:16

I have envied the terminally ill for a long time. It's idiotic, I'm aware, but I do nonetheless. I wish I had the excuse to stop what I'm doing and to focus time on the things I enjoy. I feel like no one else shares my sense of urgency when it comes to these things. I want what I want and I want it now, because tomorrow might be too late. Maybe I'm all too aware of my own mortality, seeing as I spend a lot of my time fighting that weird, nagging pull to the grave. Everyone else operates as though they have forever. I expect nothing of my future and I am not interested in it. If I don't do these things now, I'm concerned I never will. Sinking into a routine from which I cannot break free until I am too old to enjoy or, worse, dead. I am uninterested in my socially-prescribed ambitions. What I want is an excuse to stop. An excuse to give up. I fantasize about people close to me dying because then maybe I can stop and feel for a moment. Not have to keep doing what I'm doing. I don't want their pity, I just want to stop thinking for a while and for that to be okay with other people. But it never will be. Even if someone close to me did die I would only be entitled to 2-3 days of bereavement. Is that what human life is worth now, 2-3 days of mourning and then we move on? Must the wheel turn, unending? I am tired beyond my years, and in that gentle slide into oblivion, an end can be found.

Dear friend:

When will I stop pitying myself, stop allowing myself to be powerless, start trying to change the things I dislike in my life? Probably never. I am sorry to have to disappoint you in that regard. I have aspired to strength but I'm weak, wholly, in the truest sense of the word. Sorry.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 16 Nov 2014, 10:28

You say you expect nothing of the future. Is there anything you particularly want to have happen in your life?
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby auberginequeen » 16 Nov 2014, 10:36

That's the thing, I don't know. I don't want kids. I guess I want to live with my boyfriend but at the same time that doesn't seem to matter much when I sit down and think about it. I miss him right after I leave and then I stop feeling sad about it. I assume that's normal-ish, but it means when people are outside my immediate vicinity I don't miss them very well... unless I feel vulnerable. Once I get scared/anxious I run back to those closest to me and confide in them. Do I feel that much for them when I'm not like that? Most people, no. I have fun with my friends and I'm sad when it ends but what else would I want? Why would I want my bf to be around all the time? What we have works.

I want not to die by any means other than by my own hand. I don't want to starve to death. I'm afraid of becoming homeless, of losing everything and everyone. I feel safest in my room surrounded by my things, until my world is upset, and then I run to my friends and family. I need to stop doing that.

So to answer your question, I don't know. I want to go places and see things but I doubt I ever will. I don't have days off, you don't in my field. Really, me sitting here writing this is wasting time I should be spending on work. I'm also poor, far too poor to support myself, and my employment history is spotty. What hope do I have of not ending up freezing to death? What hope do I have of ever seeing Europe when I can't afford things on my own? When I'm a leech to my aging parents? Better to cut off the hand that offends you.

EDIT: I'm really tired, that's the crux of it. I've gotten up at 6 AM every day for the past 10 days for my work. These past few days I've been marking and trying to write my grant proposals and I'm getting nowhere. I'm running out of time, and I'm getting nowhere. Every time I sit down to write it I realize I don't know enough to be able to write anything coherent. I researched this stuff a couple of months ago, what wrong with me that I can't fucking write this fucking goddamn proposal? Yesterday I couldn't remember basic facts about the field. How the fuck am I going to write this proposal? It doesn't help my supervisor recently suggested I change the rationale for my experiment, and now everyone who knows anything in my lab is at a conference until Thursday. The application is due at the end of the month. I am fucked and I am so frustrated with myself and my current position that I want to take it out on someone or something and that someone/something is myself, for not getting any work done. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? It's the student's existential crisis. I'm not special. Plenty of people have gone through worse than I am. Who am I to be melting down, when others have been so strong in the face of significantly more dire circumstances? I am fucking furious with myself on a number of fronts and I just want to fucking sleep.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 16 Nov 2014, 11:05

You're always allowed to be upset. There's no need for justification - if you're unhappy, you're unhappy. That's like saying you've no right to happiness when something nice happens in your life, because other people have nicer things happening to them. That's irrelevant.

I know I'm not in your field and can't really help, but if you want to just explain things to me, or use me as a sounding board I'll try to be constructive for you. I understand if that's not really feasible, though. It's unfortunate that people are gone. :/

Can you try to write at least a paragraph a day? It doesn't even have to be good - in fact, it probably will and should be bad. Just write out in plain text what you're trying to say, without using academic language or even full explanations. Say what you would say to one of us about it. It doesn't even have to make full sense. Just write something that you want in there at some point, and make sure it's a different thing every day. Every few days you can go back and edit, but make sure not to delete more than half, or to replace up to that amount of what you delete.

I don't know if your scheduling allows it, but sleep does help. You'll do better even with less time.

Most of all, look after you. I like you. I want you to be okay. And I have faith that you'll impress people and do better and things will improve for you, even if you don't.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby AdmiralMemo » 16 Nov 2014, 12:36

This may just make things worse, but I want to say that I'm at the next point in my life from you, in a way... I'm on my own, supporting myself, and not a "leech on my parents"... And the feeling hasn't gone away. I still feel like you do. I don't know if it'll make you feel better that you can eliminate one source of your issue that is not going to solve the problem, or if it'll make you feel worse that you can be independent and still feel the same. :|
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 16 Nov 2014, 13:44

I still miss my friend and it still hurts.
Some days are better. Some days are worse when they highlight his very much absence(evenings where I feel lonely or when I've been to church and I notice his very unexistence).

My head is full of good logical realisations and stuff.
My heart doesn't listen.

I need to be patient and I know this will pass. But it hurts now and I cannot ignore it.

I could escape into daydream fantasy, but I don't know how healthy that'd be.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby MinniChi » 16 Nov 2014, 23:20

Went out last night for drinks with some girls from work. 24 hours later, I'm in the hospital getting meds for an allergic reaction.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 17 Nov 2014, 02:32

No wonder I have two faces. One which is how I feel, and the other which the world sees.

I was wearing my "how I feel face" instead of "face I show the world" and my mum was a bit bitchy.

She said "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I wasn't look at you like anything. I was looking at you because you were speaking to me (I was listening). I just happen to look the way I do. If you comment on me looking at you in a way that disturbs you then I was keep on being deciteful about my feelings to the world. Since I clearly burden the world by showing how I feel. And obviously pointing this out isn't going to make me feel worse what so ever.

Yesterday I thought "wow. Living at home is fine now. It's cool. I don't feel the urge to move out anymore". Well... this morning changed that. I love my parents. But I think I cannot live in the same building as them anymore.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby auberginequeen » 18 Nov 2014, 04:54

It's -11C right now, -20C windchill. In November.

Just about froze my fingers off trying to dig my car out of the snow last night, and again this morning. :(

Ow.

Winter is coming.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Shandi » 18 Nov 2014, 06:33

Hey, Auberginequeen. What you were going through there sounds a lot like how I have felt many times in a long distance relationship. I found the extreme highs (yay, we're together!) and lows (no! leaving again already?), made the middle very hollow. Not only that, but I have difficulty sleeping when we're apart, so I know how poor sleep quality compounds things. It seriously sucks, but at least you can know that there are logical, perhaps even biological reasons for the awful way you feel sometimes, and that it doesn't mean you'll be stuck that way forever. Hubby and I finally live together (yay!), though his being in the army means we're currently apart for another 7 1/2 weeks (boo!). It really affects my psychological wellbeing and productivity.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Timelady » 18 Nov 2014, 10:03

Auberginequeen...that sounds like a lot of what I was going through in college, too, honestly. <3 Except from what you're saying, it sounds like you have even more responsibility and deadlines and things to get done. *offers internet hugs, if Aubergine wants them*

I don't know if this is going too close to replying/advising/whatever in this thread, and I'm sorry, but...you are not alone. I have met enough college students going through this--the burnout, the anxiety, the self-flagellation, everything--that it's actually shocked me. I thought I was alone during all of that. And hopeless. And useless. And so much less of a person than everyone else around me. And...it's surprisingly not the case. I think we all just feel so alone and behind that we want to do our best to hide it; to make like we're fitting in, that we're able to do what obviously comes so easy to everyone else. And there's so many of us, and I have no idea how many, that feel like we're alone and failing.

If for whatever reason you want to talk, please feel free to PM me.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Darkobra » 18 Nov 2014, 14:19

auberginequeen wrote:Dear friend:

When will I stop pitying myself, stop allowing myself to be powerless, start trying to change the things I dislike in my life? Probably never. I am sorry to have to disappoint you in that regard. I have aspired to strength but I'm weak, wholly, in the truest sense of the word. Sorry.


Start small. One tiny thing is all it takes. Strength isn't just about enduring but choosing to do the difficult thing for the greater good, even if that turns out to be selfish.

You need to look after yourself before you can look after others. You know where I am and you know I'll look after you.
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