Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

[empath]

Oh I love motivationals - they give me (and others) SO much fodder to work with:





In Other News™...

five more days...five more days...just five more days...

[Duckay]

Every once in a while, someone redecorates the office at one of the houses I work at with some sort of motivational poster. Usually about the importance of showing your appreciation for one another, coming into work with a positive attitude and leaving your homelife at the door, and things in that sort of vein. Whether I find them tolerable or terrible generally depends on what's been happening at work that day.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

It seems here in the West it's very ME centric. I must succeed ALONE, I don't need other people's help at all. I need to be happy.

True there are people who erode themselves away serving others.
Which is why blanket advice is shit.

[Duckay]

The ones I actually don't mind are the ones that advocate self-care and maintaining a positive work-life balance. Mostly just on the principle that most of the offices focus on other things, so I find an acknowledgement that shit can be stressful and that it's okay to worry about yourself kind of refreshing.

[Darkobra]

Wanna know what my motivational is? Clingfilm at the doorways. Never gets old.

One of the guys actually tied a banana to the top of the doorway and used fishing line. So when someone else opened the door, they got the banana swinging like a pendulum into their nuts and they couldn't see the fishing line to give it away. I was genuinely impressed!

Might not have motivated him but I felt a hell of a lot better about working!

[Deedles]

Now if I could just be an emotionally stable person for 5 fucking seconds....

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

It's thought that internet trolls are horrible because they are seeking attention. And as a result it is thought the best way to deal with them is to ignore them and not give them attention.

But do we ever think why they want attention?

Is ignoring them really the best way to deal with trolls?

Is it not best to tell them that it's definitely not cool to speak in that way and then ignore them?

They perhaps are people who are in need of social contact and aggravating people is the best way. Ignoring them completely makes them even more isolated. Telling them speaking in a certain way is not cool tells them that if they indeed want social interaction, being a dick isn't the best way to go about it.

I'm venting because I think ignoring trolls is potentially hypocritical and I dislike hypocrisy.

[Valkyrie-Lemons]

It's not hypocritical, it's often the only way to deal with trolls is to ignore them.

Trolls know they're being dicks, not say someone who says something nasty but don't realise they're being offensive.

Trolls try an elicit a reaction, any reaction, so denying them that makes being a troll boring, and they won't do it. Even asking them why they're being a troll, or even reasoning with them, just encourages them to do it more, not less.


I understand your argument, but if someone is being nasty and abusive to me, I don't see why I should put up with it and try and be nice to them in return. I think you have a point if I was being abusive back to them, but ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to deter trolls.

The other thing you have to remember is that them being a troll, then us telling them to stop but we'd be willing to talk to them, can often lead to them to think that being a troll elsewhere is a good way to get people's attention before being calmer. In some situations it actually encourages trolling behaviour.

[Kapol]

I'm venting because I think ignoring trolls is potentially hypocritical and I dislike hypocrisy.

I don't see how you come to the conclusion that it's hypocritical to ignore trolls. Mostly because of the fact that ignoring trolls isn't meant to be what's best for the troll. It's normally what's best for the person they're trolling. What Valkyrie-Lemons said is true for most trolls. And even the ones it's not true for, rewarding negative behavior is rarely a good idea. You may give them the social interaction they want. But you're creating a situation where them acting like a dick has rewarded them with what they wanted.

Also, even if you are right in how to deal with them, I don't see how not engaging with engaging with trolls because they want attention is hypocritical.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

I see why reaching out to a troll can cause harm rather than good.

I just wonder if anything can be done about it. True ignoring the trolls helps oneself, but this isn't about helping yourself.

Is it possible to respond to a troll that is beneficial to all, at all?

[Darkobra]

Oh please. People being dicks aren't trolls. They're being dicks. Trolling is an artform. It takes subtlety. You've all watered down the word to "Anyone who pisses me off is a troll."

If I keep a telemarketer on hold and randomly come back to them and do everything but talk about their product, walking away when they start to talk,I'm trolling the shit out of them. I actually throw my phone on the bed sometimes when I know I'm answering one and leave it. Not a word. I see how long I can hold them. One hour 15 minutes of "Hello? Are you there?" is my record. I actually FORGOT about them, came back to them still on the phone to hear "Helloooooooooo!" I was amazed! I nearly bought whatever he was selling!

If I shout outright abuse at them, I'm a dick. There's no subtlety. There's no art. It's just dicks being dicks.

You want to do something about dicks? Ignore them. They are genuinely looking for an excuse. Any excuse. Don't give them one. Don't validate them.

[Kapol]

I just wonder if anything can be done about it. True ignoring the trolls helps oneself, but this isn't about helping yourself.

This might be dickish to say, but why should I worry about someone who's actively trying to piss people off or upset them? It doesn't matter if they're doing it for attention. They're still purposefully trying to get negative reactions from people.

*snip*

I wouldn't say 'anyone who pisses me off' is a troll. I think anyone who actively tries to piss people off is a troll, at least in the context of the discussion with Merrymaker. I'd say it's more accurate to just call those people dicks. But troll/trolling is a pretty wide term anymore, just because it's used in so many different ways.

[AdmiralMemo]

So... While my old job said they wouldn't be dinks and try to contest my unemployment claim... the Unemployment Office themselves is contesting the claim.

[empath]

Maryland was a red state?

Hope their contestation falls flat!

[AdmiralMemo]

Maryland is quite thoroughly blue, usually.

[King Kool]

Broke my back molar.

I have to work tomorrow and Christmas. I have no idea if I can get it fixed.

[leapy]

Broke my back molar.

I have to work tomorrow and Christmas. I have no idea if I can get it fixed.

Ow

[auberginequeen]

Sick of one of my relatives continually pointing out I'm a girl and should therefore act a certain way.

He's a pretty liberal guy too and he knows me very well so I have no idea why he keeps saying things like, "One day you might find makeup/getting dressed up fun" or "Aren't you going to wrap your presents for [boyfriend]?" "He didn't." "Yes, but you're a girl."

As someone who is... extremely stubborn this doesn't make me any more likely to do it. Just because I am female in biology doesn't mean I enjoy these things or will ever enjoy these things. All of them are unneccessary in my mind. If you like wearing makeup, getting dressed up, and/or wrapping presents then more power to you, but I don't get why it's not clear by now, at 22, that I am not inclined.

It's just, it feels like he's expecting me to one day emerge as a "normal" woman and until that happens I just "don't know what I'm missing", you know? Like people who go on about how you can't understand love until you have children, or who keep saying you're not gay, and that someday you'll find the right girl. It's hurtful and annoying.

[Dutch guy]

Theres about 2 inches of snow outside (aka, snowpocalypse in the netherlands). My parents and brother were going to come over to help out in the new house. I phoned my parents to tell them I didn't think it wise they would come and called them off. Now I cant reach my brother. I'm afraid he's already on his way... DAMNIT. If something happens to him I'll never forgive myself.

And if he DOES get there that means I have to go on the road as well...

[Cybertrash]

Looks like I'll be alone on New Years... Woo....

[MotorWaffle]

What you're saying can be true. I can even agree that what you're saying is true. What you're saying being true does not necessarily make your behavior less of that of an insufferable twat.

[korvys]

What you're saying can be true. I can even agree that what you're saying is true. What you're saying being true does not necessarily make your behavior less of that of an insufferable twat.

AKA:

[MotorWaffle]

Exactly. Saving that image for future use

[AdmiralMemo]

When you're shaving and you think you look good, then notice one more little detail that you want to shave off, so you do... and THAT is the swipe that cuts you...

So irritating, in more than one way...

[MinniChi]

Edit: Extra vent, I just lost the candy cane I opened while typing this.

Just retyped my fiancé's resume for him and applied to a job for him. All while he's complaining I'm doing it "wrong".

I just hope they call him in for an interview. Then I can very loudly *not* tell him, told you so.

Click to Expand

I'm doing this because he hasn't had a shift in over a month and we have to pay rent and save for a wedding. He also hasn't made any move to apply for any job. Argh!