Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby phlip » 07 Jul 2015, 16:38

An entirely appropriate response.

I'm pretty sure I've seen this guy in the Twitch chat before, name rings a bell as one that's rubbed me up the wrong way in the past. Can't remember exactly why, though.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby AdmiralMemo » 07 Jul 2015, 16:41

Kapol wrote:I guess the TL;DR is: I have opinions. I want to share them. I feel I can't. It's either due to fear of dealing with a ton of people just saying I'm wrong in varying degrees of politeness, or having embarrassing things brought to light and/or having my personal life brought into matters. Though honestly, I'm the same as everyone else and just want everyone to agree with me.
Yeah, I feel this way, too, and it's kind of aggravating.
Fayili wrote:Ah, finally a response from twitter person: "im a troll, was trying to be funny, and I understand the shirt but on her with her physique it is hard to read"

My response? "Fuck you goodbye."
Yeah, I don't know what's up with him. I tried to talk to him privately in stream chat, and he seems like "It was just a bad joke, man." No sense of apology. In my previous interactions with him, he seemed decent enough, so I don't know what's changed.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 07 Jul 2015, 17:00

I wanna be like, "Would you say this to someone you saw as fat? Would you be like, 'You're so rotund, I can't read the words on your shirt?'" But I already gave the fuck off, and don't really want to engage further.

But, like. It's not okay to comment on someone else's physique. It just isn't.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby the_lone_bard » 07 Jul 2015, 19:03

That's wrong. There is plenty of times it's ok to comment on someone elses physique. Now, this situation it isn't, even if he was trying to make DAWURST joke of "Its hard to read cause your boobs are so great lolololololololololol" but, there are plenty of legitimate times to comment on someones physique. Just, in general, don't be a dick and you're fine.

And Kap, yep, I'm with ya man. All my friends are anti-gamergate. I was originally for it, I'm all for ethics in gaming, then it turned into a fight between the worst feminists and the worst anti-feminists. So, guess I have to wait a few years for something else to fuck up like that to have my opinion without being mindlessly called a sexist.
Same with my opinion on equality in gaming. At worst, I'm not effected by it, and at most, I'm absolutely for it. Yet, here is Anita Sarkeesan using flawed bullshit arguments in an attacking manner towards everyone. As far as I'm concerned she does more to stop equality than further it, but fucking god forbid you say THAT anywhere.

The internet in our current social period is simply not condusive to anything other than a herd mentallity. If you aren't with everyone, you're against them. Nobodyis willing to put the time in to learn the nuances of an argument, so differing opinions get stifled, not by reasoned discussion but by shouts of "SHUT UP ASSHOLE! SHUT UP ASSHOLE! YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME SHUT UP ASSHOLE!"
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby korvys » 07 Jul 2015, 19:54

It's an interesting psychological thing as well. When is it a herd mentality, and when are you just wrong? Like, we've had people come here an complaint that we're all SJWs, that it's a mono-culture, etc. But if someone came in and said the world was flat, are they going to say we're a herd when we all agree otherwise?

If you have an unpopular opinion, sometimes yelling about it is the right thing, trying to break through the herd mentality. There is a point where every new idea is one shared by a minority of people, even if it's correct, and fighting to convince others is right.

But on the other hand, maybe you're just wrong? Maybe it's an unpopular opinion because it's incorrect.

These scenarios would look almost identical from the inside, but the first is way more flattering. We always assume we are immune to delusion, and it's much more attractive to think we're the underdog, fighting to expose the truth, rather than just plain wrong.

Of course it's also true if you're a member of the majority. Do you really believe that thing because you worked it out, and what others believe is irrelevant? Or were you convinced because your peer group agrees?


So, since this is the venting thread:
I'm sick of people, all over the internet, and in the world in general, thinking a disagreement with their views is an attack on them, and an organised conspiracy or herd mentality. Oh, you're a shitty comedian who is pissed they can't make racist jokes anymore? Too fucking bad. It's not "PC gone mad", it's people figuring out those stereotypes are damaging, and your jokes are shitty. Someone called you a sexist, or a racist? Maybe they're just oversensitive. Or, on the balance of probability, you probably are, because everyone is, some of the time. Got an unpopular opinion? Maybe everyone secretly shares it with you, and you're the only one brave enough to say so. Or, more likely, maybe you're just wrong, and an asshole.

And while we're on that subject, the people who are proud to be assholes. Fuck those people. You don't care what people think? Well people think you're an asshole, and have no consideration for other people. At this point, it doesn't matter if they agree or not, the fact that you're being told you're making other people's lives worse, and you're ok with that, makes you a bad person. Not your opinions, the way you treat people.

EDIT: And another thing, korvys! (Yes, I'm venting at myself, sue me) You do exactly the same damn thing you just ranted about. If interpersonal problems come up, you shut down, and try to be all super rational, and pretend like you're not affected by the same emotions and human flaws as everyone else. Stop it. There's a time for pure rationality, and dealing with other irrational humans isn't it. You have to have at least some level of consideration. Being stoic isn't something to be proud of. It's a useful tool sometimes, but not always.

Right... there we go.

I think this is the first time I've posted to actual vent in this thread?
I can see why people do it.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Kapol » 07 Jul 2015, 20:11

It's not just GamerGate. In fact, it wasn't GamerGate that made me think of that, I was just using it as an example due to it being currently discussed when I posted. The more recent example that made me think about it is the banning of Zack Jesse from playing Magic: The Gathering. It feels like a lot of the discussion around that often turns into either 'you're supporting a rapist, you monster' or 'you're punishing someone who, from the looks of things, looks to be the ideal version of a reformed criminal.'

And, of course, it goes beyond even matters like that. It just feels like it's hard to have any conversation without trouble arising. As much as I think we have a solid community here, it's happened here as well. Not necessarily intentionally, and not as aggressively as other places. But it has happened. Though as soon as I posted this, The Life, Universe, And Everything Thread seem to be having a fairly good discussion with some minor outliers. Even there though, I don't feel like opinions are shifting. It's discussion for the sake of discussion. That's not a bad thing, mind you, as there's value in that.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 07 Jul 2015, 20:18

Leeeeeeet's not get into discussions, especially of Gamergate, but also of other things in this thread. I was in the wrong when I started encouraging responses and then replying to myself. The specific purpose of this thread is to vent and not really reply to others unless it's some form of sympathy. Otherwise it may follow in the footsteps of the previous Venting Threads.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 07 Jul 2015, 20:19

(Not to say that discussions aren't great, but not this thread if you get my drift.)
Alja-Markir wrote:Andy is the LRR Heart-throb.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Kapol » 07 Jul 2015, 20:22

Right. That's why I meant to clarify I wasn't specifically talking about that, more using it as an example for an overall problem I have and wanted to vent about. Apologies if it came off as trying to spark a discussion on that matter.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 07 Jul 2015, 20:23

Nah, it's totally cool. We're all kind of complicit, but nothing got out of hand, so it's chill.

BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED VENTING!
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby betsytheripper » 08 Jul 2015, 00:21

Venting you say?

Not sure this is really a vent so much as a ramble I need to just get out.

I moved about an hourish north of where I was about five weeks ago. The weekend before I moved was my graduation, and my boyfriend was being a complete "oh I'm soooo sad" downer and it really tarnished what should have been a happy time for me. We've been having problems for months, and it finally came to a head during finals, and then that happened. Then I moved, and now the problems are constant. As soon as something looks positive, he does something completely idiotic. Now, I have tried listening to his suggestions and what he wants, but those always come down to him not listening to what I want and need. There has been no compromise on his end, he just fights and fights and fights for what he wants to do about it until he folds and says he'll do what I want to try.

This last weekend, he said he'd realized he never listened to me, or thought about what I wanted. So, a step forward. But then he shows up 2 hours earlier than I expected, my place still a total mess from not feeling good for a couple days, and I feel disrespected. When he told me this confession about not listening to me, he called me until I picked up, wouldn't answer my response texts, even though I've said repeatedly that I hate talking on the phone. And then, while we were actually having a nice, fun weekend, no problems, I was a little buzzed from having drinks while watching the world cup, he brings up the "what do you want/how do we fix this/let's overanalyze every god damn thing we've said and done in the last two years" discussion, which I have repeatedly complained is the only thing we ever seem to talk about now. I told him I didn't want to think about it, couldn't we have just one nice weekend where we don't have to think about it?

Whenever he says how much he wants me (and while he doesn't mean sexual, I absolutely loathe the sexual subtext in that word) I get weirded out because he sounds so desperate. It's nice that someone wants my company. It's unsettling and a red flag when someone needs my company. And I reconciled with myself a couple weeks ago after another huge, insult leveling fight, that this is going to end, and likely should have ended months ago.

I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of dealing with this. I'm tired of getting comments like "I wish you wouldn't wear makeup" and "but I find your hair attractive, wear it down" and getting touched when I don't want to be (like him trying to hug me while I was in a sour mood and doing dishes, leading to my head getting hit by the cupboard door) and him just not fucking respecting the things I want and need. I am fucking tired of not being respected as a full human being not here solely for his whims.

I guess that ended up being more of a vent after all.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Elomin Sha » 08 Jul 2015, 01:35

STOP DERAILING MY THREADS. THAT IS MY JOB!
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby poopintheairtonight » 09 Jul 2015, 15:27

This thread lately has reminded me of the secondary reason I don't take part in many social aspects of the LRR community. I tried to discuss an event happening, someone overreacted and put words in my mouth, attacked me for those words, then through the grace of having been around if not well liked, got sympathy when I responded in anger. It hurt, it felt like a betrayal, after two desert busses and a bunch of positive interaction on hangouts, I suddenly felt like a wall was there between me and the community. The main reason is that with my sporadic internet access I really don't have time to do more than download the latest lrrcast and watch the latest feed dump.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Elomin Sha » 10 Jul 2015, 08:59

Point them out and I'll put them in the bag.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 11 Jul 2015, 05:39

Sister: Are you ok?
Me: Yes..?
Sister: Just you seem very quiet.
Me Thinking: *You've known me for 26 years and you still don't realise I am a quiet person. Also, why would I feel more inclined to be talkative after what you've said?*
--
This is whilst my sister seemed pissed off at me what I "don't want to spend time with her" this afternoon.

She woke up at 1 in the afternoon.
Lets just say my activities were set for the day with the assumption she'll never wake up. I'm in the middle of a multiplayer match. I can't just go "Hey random 4 players who I just met and never will see again. My sister just woke up really late in the morning and demands to socially interact with me. So I am going to ruin this game for four of you just because my sister is grumpy! OK!!!"
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby JustAName » 12 Jul 2015, 19:16

I know it shouldn't still be bugging me, but I'm kind of still dwelling on that goddamn twitter comment. The fact that that's all people will ever see me for.

Fuck.
Alja-Markir wrote:Andy is the LRR Heart-throb.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby King Kool » 12 Jul 2015, 19:19

Only the shallow idiots and the fools who will miss out on the irreplaceable interaction of such a wonderful young woman.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby the_lone_bard » 12 Jul 2015, 19:24

I see you as one of the most intelligent and well spoken people I know with a good heart... I can't remember the last time I noticed your profile pic change show up on my timeline, therefore I can't remember the last time I noticed your boobs, or anything more than a very very tiny version of your face in the chat part of facebook. Anyone worth dealing with in the first place is gonna see you as a person, anyone who doesn't see you as a person isn't worth caring about in the first place. I think of those people like schoolyard bullies. If we all just stop paying attention to them, eventually they'll all die out cold and alone with nobody to care for them, and then the human race will be improved.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Elomin Sha » 13 Jul 2015, 01:23

You'll have that niggling feeling for a while, I get that quite a bit with moronic customers, it will pass and you'll laugh at the idiocy.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 13 Jul 2015, 11:47

I had another awesome idea for a career to train in.
Of course when I looked it up, turns out there isn't anywhere near me that will offer it, and I cannot afford it either.
Money is the reason I look at these things...

I really do not want to move somewhere where I have no social ties. I'm someone who finds it exhausting trying to build up new social connections from scratch.

On the plus side, found a website where I can find jobs in Spain for people who speak English well but Spanish badly. Shame all the Catalan jobs are in Barcelona.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby the_lone_bard » 13 Jul 2015, 15:55

That sucks Merry. I was looking at security guard certs a few years back. Would have been able to get a job instantly that pays $30 an hour or so, full time. But to get those certs would have cost me around $2800, not something you have laying around when you get (Back then before my payments were raised) a whole $125 a week.

So, I'm a fucking retard. Checked the date/time of my appointment with social worker on Sunday night. Again yesterday. Go in today, and it was for yesterday. I swear my brain is just fucked. It decides something is the way it is, and then just doesn't register information to the contrary. Decided it's on Tuesday? Well let's obsessively check it every day for the last week and just not process the part where it says "MONDAY" in bold, all caps letters next to the time.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby viscomica » 13 Jul 2015, 18:40

Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:I had another awesome idea for a career to train in.
Of course when I looked it up, turns out there isn't anywhere near me that will offer it, and I cannot afford it either.
Money is the reason I look at these things...

I really do not want to move somewhere where I have no social ties. I'm someone who finds it exhausting trying to build up new social connections from scratch.

On the plus side, found a website where I can find jobs in Spain for people who speak English well but Spanish badly. Shame all the Catalan jobs are in Barcelona.


Well, to be fair, it makes perfect sense that they should be in Barcelona.
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Tinasaur » 14 Jul 2015, 01:40

Ever since they had maintenance on the ventilationsystem in the building there has been a high pitched whine through the openings in the kitchen fan and the toilet. I've reported it to maintenance but there are no service people to come look at it since everyone's on vacation. It's driving me crazy to listen to all day every day...
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 14 Jul 2015, 03:05

viscomica wrote:
Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:I had another awesome idea for a career to train in.
Of course when I looked it up, turns out there isn't anywhere near me that will offer it, and I cannot afford it either.
Money is the reason I look at these things...

I really do not want to move somewhere where I have no social ties. I'm someone who finds it exhausting trying to build up new social connections from scratch.

On the plus side, found a website where I can find jobs in Spain for people who speak English well but Spanish badly. Shame all the Catalan jobs are in Barcelona.


Well, to be fair, it makes perfect sense that they should be in Barcelona.


Just it's 1 hr and 40 minutes train journey from people who I know. I would have work, just I would be alone yet so painfully close to people I knew.
Reus or Tarragona or Salou would be great. That corner of Catalonia.

Just seems a shame to move to somewhere lovely, and be unhappier than I am now. (I'm content right now. But yesterday it was quite a downer for me)
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Re: Venting Thread Delta - Now With Easy to Follow Rules

Postby viscomica » 14 Jul 2015, 10:04

I wasn't saying it was convenient, just that it made sense.

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