Fezzul wrote:I was a virgin up until three and a half months ago, I admit, there were times when I wondered what I was doing wrong... but I always took comfort in Eddie Izzard's words.
"I was virgin until I was 21. 21! That's not cool at all. But I talk about it now, so now it is cool."
Slight paraphrasing, but the sentiment is about right.
There is pressure to lose your virginity, and it's worse in certain social circles than others, but the odds of getting a shag eventually are pretty good. That's just statistics. Unless you are actively avoiding it, you'll work it out eventually. And then once you do lose your virginity, you realize how little it matters. You don't change in to another person, the same problems will still be waiting for you at work, you'll still be good and bad at the same things, you'll still have to brush your teeth after eating chocolate and look both ways before crossing the street. No need to be ashamed whatever your preferences or sexual history, it is what it is.
*The shooter was a misogynist who blamed women for the fact that he was a virgin. He is an extreme example of what happens when prototype masculinity is espoused above all else, and sexual conquests are raised to the value of Chaos Emeralds. I don't know if it's a by-product of how he was raised, or the school he went to or societal/media influences (probably a little from each column). If you watch his pre-shooting video (It's online, I don't recommend it for anything other than scientific study) he comes off as narcissistic, shallow and boring (His vocabulary is paltry, and he is cliched and derivative as fuck). He is the textbook whiny teenager (I know he's in his twenties), he is clearly someone who needed to see a therapist, take life less seriously, and work out a clearer sense of priorities. The whole thing is just sad and stupid.
I can't feel anything but contempt and pity for the guy. Contempt because of what he did, and pity because that wanker is now a martyr to the male orgasm. Congratu-fucking-lations.
*I originally typed his name here, but he's had enough exposure already. The more people repeat the names of these wankers the more they approach folk hero status.
Re: the virginity thing, as a late teenage virgin who'd rather get it out of the way I've had this debate many a time. The conclusion I've reached that virginity is kinda a big deal until you've lost it, for the same reason that driving is a big deal until you've passed your test (not that I'm intending to equate sex with being tested). It's a new life experience, so it is kinda a big deal- once it's out of the way, sex may much more easily be relegated to 'just another facet of one's life'.
That's just an aside- whilst I hate what this guy has done, I actually disagree that this man has martyred the male cause. If anything, I personally perceive that he has martyred those he has shot- he has shown the rank madness and dangerousness of society's more outdated attitudes towards women. He has shown how dangerous this is. If ever anyone wonders if this kind of thing really matters, there is now a glaring ****ing example to point to.
I feel I should apologise for that paragraph, but I feel it's true.