loadingreadyrun.com

^ I read penis.
Don't ask.

My vent is that my Ear Plugs are destroying themselves again...

Also Oxfam blocked www.penisland.net

I have no sense of direction when it comes to my future, and I'm quickly running out of time.

My Biopsych prof gave a presentation today about career prospects for my field (Psychology). The "no graduate work required" jobs were stuff like human resources and working for the government. None of these interested me - in fact they sound boring as hell.

But then the jobs he listed for grad work (neuroimmunologist, neurogeneticist, etc) also didn't sound very interesting to me. I like learning things but I'm not sure if research is in my blood. I'm very shy and an introvert - qualities which are not well-suited to a lab, and it's obvious upon meeting me that this is the case. Even if I were to apply to grad school, why would someone want me in their lab?

He also said that letters of recommendation were the most important part of applying to grad school in Psychology. Well, I don't have anyone for that either. There's only one prof I've sort of clicked with but not even to a substantial degree. My Biopsych prof hinted that we could use him as he had "gotten to know all of [us]" over the course. There were only 17 people in the class. And yet he doesn't actually know me. We've spoken maybe twice. I don't know how to be chummy.

I have no ambitions. I don't have any sort of desires for the future other than "live a relatively comfortable life, preferably not alone, have a few good friends."

I lack passion. I'm not passionate about anything. My dad always said he hoped I found something I loved because my aunt couldn't find anything and she's not exactly the happiest person ever. No pressure, eh dad?

Well I still haven't found anything and I'm in my third year of my degree. I've stopped trying when it comes to assignments and midterms in a few of my courses... I went into Org Chem and Microbes without having studied at all and I got B's. I'm getting B's which hurts me both future-wise and self-esteem-wise but I just don't have anything to work toward.

I don't even have an area of psychology I'm particularly interested in. They want that when you apply to undergraduate thesis - they want you to have something you want to investigate in a particular field and they want you to have found a professor in that field who will supervise you. Well I don't want anything.

Also, semi-related, I'm getting kind of fed up of feeling like an outsider all the time. I don't really understand how most people function and so I constantly feel like I'm on a different planet. It's like I'm a key that doesn't fit any locks. Things don't click and I'm just left feeling confused and awkward and embarrassed and frustrated. I've managed to find one other person IRL who actually speaks my proverbial language and who makes sense and I'm so grateful for that, life has been a lot more bearable since then. But unfortunately I still have to interact with these alien people most of the time.

What's wrong with me? How can they interact so... naturally? It's as though they're all telepathic and I was born without.

Why don't I fit, damn it?!

Parts about no real ambition and always feeling like an outsider? Yep me too.

TEACHING MOTHER TO USE INTERNET.

RAGE.

Stop using "common" French phrases in scentences. You are using them wrong and you come across as a jackass. C'est la vie is not used after you forgot to do something you were supposed to, and using it that way will get you punched in the face very soon.

Your boyfriend does not have a certain Je ne sais quoi you know exactly what it is, because you defined it two seconds later.

Ca va does not mean ok the way we use it, so saying something like "you need to get this done within an hour, ca va?" is wrong, you ended your scentence by asking me "how is it going?" not by comfirming that I understood what you meant.

Not sure where this fits but:

And old Lady drowned in her own house near me due to the excessive flooding...

Okay, world, I've gotten done editing my profile on the Professional Photographers of America website. I've finished editing and adding portfolio samples to the Freelance Exchange's site. Hell, I even went back to LinkedIn and finished that. Now for the love of God, will someone nut up and make use of all of this talent that I allegedly have and pay me to take some fucking photographs already?!

I seem to be a likeable person. I seem to be an intelligent person with valid judgements who like everyone does have ignorance and sometimes makes the wrong decision.
But when someone verbally criticises me, for some reason I forget all the positive things said about me and all I think is that I am a bad person.
Perspective is funny.
Curse of modesty.

Am I a bad person? I think I'm a good person and I try to be, but I keep seeing/hearing/doing things that suggests otherwise.

Maybe should be in the depressing thread, but meh.

That's called doubts. You're a good person for reconsigning that you do 'bad things'. A real bad person wouldn't know... or care.
Everyone has faults.
Christianity is based off that philosophy

Insurance isn't giving covering a damn cent of the damage Sandy did to our basement, and we're talking the cost of a low end new car here.

Spam bots man.....

I didn't consider that I did a semester at a community college before transferring to my current university when filling out my graduate application... but the application apparently knows. And wants a transcript. Which I have until Monday to get and submit. Fuck. Me.

so many spammers!

And I have an english essay due today, that I haven't started. Crap. And I have no idea what I can do for a topic . . . What do people need to be persuaded over when it comes to cooking?

They need convincing that it's:
simple and easy.

Cooking that takes like an hour is the fancy stuff.
At the end of the day, cooking is about nutrition. There are plenty of recipes that taste nice, are quick to prepare and are nutritionally balanced.

You can prepare frozen fish by putting it in a baking tray with a chopped onion and a tin of tomatoes with another baking tray on top (with a gap) and putting it in a preheated over. Simultaneously you can cook rice. At the same time cook frozen veg. Or get some fresh lettuce.

Cooking is about efficiency and it is possible to make stuff quick. Most people don't know this. They get mislead by pointless fancy stuff.
-

On topic.
When you factor in your finance with JSA, I realise that the money I will get at Christmas won't be spent on nice things for myself. It'll be spent on important things like Clear Nail varnish (I bite my nails and this REALLY helps) and Shampoo that helps with my infernal scalp. It's annoying. I had my eyes set on THIS FRICCIN AWESOME LEGO SET.

I just want a goddamn job, but because I'm so mentally weak I missed a chance at a job that maybe wasn't the best in the world, but it was a good income and good hours too.

I just, ugh. Christmas is coming and I hear all about all the awesome stuff that my friends and acquaintances are getting for their family members, and partners, and I know that I'm not gonna be able to get any of them anything because I'm skint, and I feel so absolutely shit ... I know, Christmas shouldn't be about the gifts, but I love the happy looks on peoples faces when I've managed to get some thing that they really appreciate and like. I'm just so sad I'm not gonna see that this year.

Keab42 wrote:Dear Brain, it's been a week since the last pill, enough with the dizziness and fuzziness now please.

Dear Brain, a week and a half now. Seriously, stop it!

...

Deedles wrote:I just want a goddamn job, but because I'm so mentally weak I missed a chance at a job that maybe wasn't the best in the world, but it was a good income and good hours too.

I just, ugh. Christmas is coming and I hear all about all the awesome stuff that my friends and acquaintances are getting for their family members, and partners, and I know that I'm not gonna be able to get any of them anything because I'm skint, and I feel so absolutely shit ... I know, Christmas shouldn't be about the gifts, but I love the happy looks on peoples faces when I've managed to get some thing that they really appreciate and like. I'm just so sad I'm not gonna see that this year.

If it makes you feel any better; my mum (kindly) gave me a lift into town twice to get my hair cut and to attend an interview.

What she {unkindly) did was rant about her work (it's shit what she puts up with) and her brother beating her up when she was young.

So in the interview, I had what she said in my mind. No, she didn't give me advice or helpful hints. Or let me have time to think. So I froze in the interview because of how much she fucking piled on top of me and how important it was that I got this job. So thank you mum. You most likely cost me this job - bitch.

In my case it's that I went to a introductory meeting and lesson as a phone salesman. We got to try out what working would be like by being given a lesson in what we were selling and then getting a desk and computer so we could start working. After about 2 hours I had to leave. The negativity that you get in that line of work was just too much for me to handle, it'd been building up over the course of the hours, and when I then got some asshole who thought it was appropriate to start ranting at me I calmly wished him a good evening, hung up and then nearly burst into tears in front of the other people who were there for the same reason as me.

I felt, and feel, so disappointed in myself.

Deedles wrote:In my case it's that I went to a introductory meeting and lesson as a phone salesman. We got to try out what working would be like by being given a lesson in what we were selling and then getting a desk and computer so we could start working. After about 2 hours I had to leave. The negativity that you get in that line of work was just too much for me to handle, it'd been building up over the course of the hours, and when I then got some asshole who thought it was appropriate to start ranting at me I calmly wished him a good evening, hung up and then nearly burst into tears in front of the other people who were there for the same reason as me.

I felt, and feel, so disappointed in myself.

that really sucks, but well done for trying. You probably made the right decision and I'm sure that the right job for you is just around the corner. Would you like a digital hug?

Yes. I would love a digital hug. ): *hugs Keab*

*hugs back*

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Slenderbone-Paranormal-First-Erotica-ebook/dp/B009O8MW0A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354238770&sr=8-1

Slenderman Erotica.

That is a thing that exists.

And that you can pay money for.