Why was the Tomato blushing?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
Very Really A Much Bad Jokes
Very Really A Much Bad Jokes
-I'm a lyrical ninja-
"Hah exactly! You combine that with a little orange juice and BAM! Snakes."
-Captain_Anarchy
"Hah exactly! You combine that with a little orange juice and BAM! Snakes."
-Captain_Anarchy
One day there is a little girl in Arkensas. She is watching 2 spiders in the throw of mating. She asks her mother, "What are those 2 spiders doing, mommy?" She replies "They're mating, dear." She then replies. "So ones a mommy long legs and the other one is a daddy long legs?" The mother raises an eyebrow. "No, they're both daddy long legs." The daughter then steps on both spiders, crushing them into the ground. "That shit may fly in New York, but this is Arkensas, god-damnit."
No longer your barrel-rolling monkey.
YamaroV2 wrote:One day there is a little girl in Arkensas. She is watching 2 spiders in the throw of mating. She asks her mother, "What are those 2 spiders doing, mommy?" She replies "They're mating, dear." She then replies. "So ones a mommy long legs and the other one is a daddy long legs?" The mother raises an eyebrow. "No, they're both daddy long legs." The daughter then steps on both spiders, crushing them into the ground. "That shit may fly in New York, but this is Arkensas, god-damnit."
Dude! That is an awesome joke!
Here's mine:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
-I'm a lyrical ninja-
"Hah exactly! You combine that with a little orange juice and BAM! Snakes."
-Captain_Anarchy
"Hah exactly! You combine that with a little orange juice and BAM! Snakes."
-Captain_Anarchy
Making a bet at a bar
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
hockey hockey hockey
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AmazingPjotrMan
- ...and all I got was this lousy rank.
- Posts: 3305
- Joined: 04 Nov 2005, 16:50
- First Video: 1337
- Location: Lund, Sweden
- Contact:
Two men were at a party in a skyscraper, then the first looks out the window and tells the other. "Hey I bet (some ammount of) dollars that the updraft can keep me from falling down if I step out the window. The other one looks at the first one and snickers. "You're on he says." The first one opens the window and walks out, strangely enough he does not fall and gets inside again. Then the second man says. "I bet the same ammount that I can do that too." The first man agrees to take the bet. The second man walks out and falls to his death and the first man goes to order another drink. The bartender looks at the man and says. "You're an ass when drunk Superman."
"It's nice to think that before "Adam and Eve", there was "Earl Grey""
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dark_realm
- Aussie Auto Annihilator
- Posts: 2401
- Joined: 19 Dec 2005, 08:15
- Location: Newborough, Victoria, Australia
- Contact:
A young guy walks into a bar, sits down at the counter and orders a shot of whiskey. the bartender serves it, and the guy promptly downs it, and orders another. the bartender serves it, and without even hesitating, the guy downs it, and orders another. he orders a third and again, it's down as soon as it's served. after this happens 3 more times, the bartender, feeling curious, asks,
"hey buddy, i ain't seen no one drink like that in a while, you celebrating something?"
the guy responds, "yeah, I just had my first blow job."
so the bartender says, "congratulations, let me give you a shot on the house."
"no thanks, if the first six didn't get the taste out of my mouth, a seventh won't."
-m
"hey buddy, i ain't seen no one drink like that in a while, you celebrating something?"
the guy responds, "yeah, I just had my first blow job."
so the bartender says, "congratulations, let me give you a shot on the house."
"no thanks, if the first six didn't get the taste out of my mouth, a seventh won't."
-m
I am not angry at you.
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miakosummin
- Posts: 1026
- Joined: 30 Aug 2004, 19:44
- Location: Victoria, BC
- Contact:
expoduck wrote:A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The barman says "That's a nice newt. What's his name?"
The man says "Tiny".
The barman says "Why do you call him Tiny?".
"Because", he replies, "he's my newt."
*snrk* Thats subtle.
My favorite:
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, who'd want to talk to you, loser"
"D:"
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