The lame superpowers thread.

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Darkflame
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The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 26 Nov 2014, 23:38

Because not everyone gets to be an Avenger.

I been thinking...what incredible....yet utterly useless powers can you come up with?
In some many fictional worlds theres "mutants" "metas" "powered" whatever. Yet we only see the great ones - statistically there must be people with crappy powers too.

Me and the misses have been keeping a doc of them;
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eQD ... =drive_web

So...ideas?
(The Gatekeeper is, of course, not remotely lame and should certainly be in the Avengers or JLA)
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby korvys » 27 Nov 2014, 00:11

Being able to determine the difference between shades of pink at a glance. A power I once had, correctly pointing out to a friend that his shirt was fuchsia, not magenta.
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Ptangmatik
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 27 Nov 2014, 01:18

The ability to sneeze and fart simultaneously.
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Valkyrie-Lemons
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Valkyrie-Lemons » 27 Nov 2014, 04:41

Tax Assessment Man.

The ability to do tax returns quicker than any human should. Be able to know all the jargon, forms, and bureaucracy. Not the hero that the world needs...well actually, they probably do, given how complex tax returns can be.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Robo4900 » 27 Nov 2014, 04:51

Lava Lamp Man. You know how that stuff in lava lamps do that thing? Imagine a person who can do that.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 27 Nov 2014, 05:25

The ability to see in the dark. At daytime.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Robo4900 » 27 Nov 2014, 05:41

The ability to see light.
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 27 Nov 2014, 05:42

The ability to swallow AA batteries whole.

The ability to sit through the whole of "Gravyard of the Fireflies" without shedding a single tear.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 27 Nov 2014, 07:20

Wow some powerfull ones

How about;

Inaction Man! - With the astonishing power not to react to anything!
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Kapol » 27 Nov 2014, 07:43

How about this:

College Man, with the ability to teleport to any community college in the country. But the inability to get accepted into any of them.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Prospero101 » 27 Nov 2014, 08:39

To have all the powers of Superman. But only on Wednesdays.
It's all over but the crying. And the taxes.

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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 27 Nov 2014, 09:05

Mental Telecommunications only during off-peak hours.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Kapol » 27 Nov 2014, 09:09

The ability to sense wifi and it's strength.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Prospero101 » 27 Nov 2014, 09:12

To have JUST enough thermokinetic ability to toast bread perfectly.
It's all over but the crying. And the taxes.

"Perfectionism might look good in his shiny shoes, but he's kind of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties."
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 27 Nov 2014, 14:11

The exact awareness, at all times, where the nearest teaspoon is; it comes with the debilitating side effect of desert spoon blindness

The ability to tell, at a glance, how soon it will be before the person you're looking at will need to go pee. Catchphrase: "Are you suuuuuuurrrreeee?"
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Lord Hosk » 27 Nov 2014, 18:05

Some of these seem really useful.

The ability to make plants grow at double their natural growth rate, but you have to be actively concentrating to make it happen.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Jimor » 27 Nov 2014, 22:19

My true to life lame superpower is the ability to set eating utensils on the edge of a plate in such a way that they fall to the floor after a delay from the last time I touched them or the plate.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Atifexe » 27 Nov 2014, 22:25

Some of the minor powers from Heroes Unlimited count, I think, if they're the only power the person possesses. They're still powers, so they have some level of awesomeness, but compared to any superhero that gets their own comic book... Well, you won't be hearing about Multitasking Man, who can wash a car with one hand while doing a crossword puzzle with the other, stopping any bank robberies.

A similarly weak power is Clock Manipulation. With it, you can touch a timepiece of any sort and link with it, allowing you to adjust the alarm, start, stop, rewind, or set the timepiece (including countdown timers), and intuitively understand how it works and how to fix it if its broken. People with this ability can also guess the current time to within about ten seconds of variance, can tell whether or not a timepiece is fast or slow for the current time zone, and are excellent at timing their actions. Congratulations! In a world of superhumans, your genetic gift is the ability to tap your foot in perfect time to your favorite song while never being late for work.

Here's one of my own invention: The ability to make other people within about fifty feet feel hungry when you feel hungry. It might net you a free meal or two, or it might consistently cause your coworkers to decide to take a lunch break just before you can do so yourself, leaving you to deal with customers alone for half an hour while your stomach yells at you.
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Dutch guy
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 28 Nov 2014, 02:06

Another semi useful one: the ability to just know where any piping or wiring is inside the walls or floor of a building
THE DUTCH!! THE DUTCH AGAIN!!!!!
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 28 Nov 2014, 02:32

Dutch guy wrote:Another semi useful one: the ability to just know where any piping or wiring is inside the walls or floor of a building


I would say as a building service worker, that could be a lifesaver. You will know where to drill in a wall without killing yourself.
-


The power to hasten paint drying by x2. Stolen from the plant growing.

Being hydrophobic. Any water will run off your skin or clothing. You will never get wet. Nor will you ever properly get washed.It gets iffy around liquid solutions. If someone threw alcahol at you, any none-water molecules will still hit you. But water content will slide off.

Also danger of dehydration.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 28 Nov 2014, 05:07

That would make the effect of sweating annoying...guess it would all stick to your clothing or role to your feat.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby ElFuzzy » 28 Nov 2014, 07:44

Slinky man!

He has the ability to turn any and/or all of his limbs into slinkys, only to then crumple into a tangled mess.
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 28 Nov 2014, 11:45

Magneto.

Able to attract anything ferros to himself.

Unfortunately, when he gained his superpower, he was crushed to death by the nearby cars.
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Valkyrie-Lemons
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Valkyrie-Lemons » 28 Nov 2014, 12:00

Passive Aggressive man.

Just leaves notes all around the city, point out how inconvenient the crimes they cause are.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 28 Nov 2014, 12:45

Souper man! A minor explosion at a Uranium breeder reactor turned 15 year old Jimmy Mullins into soup! Fortunately, his lifelong buddy Dean Littleham scooped him up into a handy thermos to which he attached a cape and mask. Now, he fights crime by Dean throwing him into the face of bad guys then scraping him back up again. At this point, he is 20% cat vomit, but it isn't slowing him down.
Geoff_B wrote: ... Even for here, that was weird.

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