The lame superpowers thread.

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GamerZack87
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 15 Feb 2015, 15:18

Heat vision, the ability to make anyone or anything slightly warmer by staring at it. Useful in winter but pointless in summer.

Laser vision, your pupils are laser pointers.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 15 Feb 2015, 15:48

laser vision, you can only see along the tiny beam of a laser.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 16 Feb 2015, 05:34

Tele-telekinesis - The ability to move tvs with your mind.

Who's-that-guy-guy - Has an internal IMDB database
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 16 Feb 2015, 09:24

Stubborn Man. When he puts his fingers in his ears and repeats "LA LA LA LA", everything is muted around him.

Blando. He's a really dull and soft super villain.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 16 Feb 2015, 14:43

Invisibility: The power to obscure the vision of people using nearby mundane things such as trees and signs.
A wise man once said...something. I forget.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 19 Feb 2015, 13:30

Laser vision: Blindness to everything except lasers
Geoff_B wrote: ... Even for here, that was weird.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 19 Feb 2015, 14:34

Toast-kinesis, the ability to always make toast land buttered-side up.
A wise man once said...something. I forget.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 19 Feb 2015, 17:05

Disarm-er. Amputates the arms of any human being.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 20 Feb 2015, 05:47

Telekinesis-kinesis - The ability to move people who have telekinesis.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 20 Feb 2015, 07:31

El Jerko, has a single power he cannot help but use. Has the ability (and thus IS) a jerk to anyone and everyone.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 20 Feb 2015, 10:47

His sidekick presumably is Mildly Irritating Boy.
Not hugely irritating mind you. He is still learning. He just whistles at the wrong moment. Or drums his fingers out of tune.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 20 Feb 2015, 14:54

X-Ray Smell. Being able to smell through solid objects. Lives in solar powered air base to avoid smelling sewers. The base ejects waste.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 20 Feb 2015, 15:48

Transparency - the ability to become semi-visible.
A wise man once said...something. I forget.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Robo4900 » 20 Feb 2015, 16:05

Sound guy: The ability to identify any sound within earshot. Unfortunately, the parts of the brain this occupies replaces the parts of the brain that allow his brain to interpret the signals sent from his ears.
(In short, he's deaf)
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 20 Feb 2015, 16:06

Captain Oblivious. Just lives his life unaware he is more powerful than Superman and Doctor Manhattan combined.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 20 Feb 2015, 16:21

Captain Obvious: He's a prick.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 21 Feb 2015, 07:03

Captain Oviparous: Lays eggs Sounds useful, but would you eat one?
Geoff_B wrote: ... Even for here, that was weird.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby TStodden » 21 Feb 2015, 23:48

Long-distance Telepathy Man: The ability to read the thoughts of any man... On the completely other side of the world.

Must drive him them crazy that they can never see the person they're reading.
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 22 Feb 2015, 01:49

Long-distance relationship. Can only have meaningful relations with people on the other side of the world. If the person gets too close, their relationship deteriorates rapidly. Long-Distance Relationship man forever yearns the human touch of affection.

Have I turned this isn't the "Awful Superpowers" instead of "Lame"?
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 22 Feb 2015, 03:15

Either I guess.
My personal favourites are the ones that are both crazily impressive AND useless.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Robo4900 » 22 Feb 2015, 06:41

Paint man: With the ability to recreate any image in his mind using MS Paint for Windows 1.0.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Master Gunner » 22 Feb 2015, 10:41

Run Windows 1.0 in a VM, save the image as a .bmp, import it into MS Paint for Windows 7, save as a .png. Profit.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 23 Feb 2015, 07:14

31-day-man - The ability to extend 30 day shareware to 31 days.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 23 Feb 2015, 12:22

Fiber Optrix - Can download data at horrific speeds.

and his archnemesis

Doctor Dial Up - Tries to cap the amount of data downloaded by Fiber Optrix. Sadly Doctor Dial Up has a rivalry with Lady Land-line. Those two cannot get along well in the same area.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 23 Feb 2015, 14:51

Aloe Vera - Has the power to cure sunburn, she is most often seen at the beach, though she does sometimes frequent tanning salons. Her archnemesis is the evil U.V. Wright, and his henchman Tan N. Bedd, who aspire to give everybody the most painful sunburn imaginable!
A wise man once said...something. I forget.
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