Sooooo, Chat and I made an alphabet book.

[vorox4]

During one of the more recent Beej's backlogs, we were discussing Penelope and how LRR could be used to steer the education of the streamers and Chatters of tomorrow, and it resulted in the members of Chat and I compiling an aphabet book, but not just any alphabet book, a LRR themed alphabet book! And now, after careful editing, I bring you,
The LRRphabet book. By Chat, and vorox4. edited by vorox4

A is for Alex Who seeks to amuse.
B is for Beej Who likes animoos.
The next letter, C is for Cameron and Chat.
D is for Desert Bus, bring a fun hat!
E is for English, use it correctly.
F is for Feed Dump, which we'll show you... eventually.
G is for Graham, Dad who gives good advice.
H is for Hodor, Whose hat is quite nice.
I is for I Horner, What did we learn?
J is for Jer, Roll for attacks on your turn!
K is for Kathleen,LRR's unchallenged queen.
L is for Lava Bears Those traps can be mean!
M is for moonbase, Where the crew stores their crud.
N is for Nsburgh and Never, which is when we play spud.
O is for Order, at which chat is bad.
P is for is for Paul and Penelope with Mom and Dad.
Q is for Qwerpline News from a ridiculous spot.
R is for Roscoe P Jangles IV, The best Duck Jer's got.
S is for Stream Which LRR does a lot.
T is for Tap Tap Concede, a most magical show indeed.
U is for Unskipable With cutscenes games likely don't need.
V is for Victory, Cam's favorite score.
W is for watch and play with bad games galore,
X is for Xcom, Time to reload some more.
Y Is for yelling, when airhorns appear!
And Z is for Zed, and the letters end here.

[AdmiralMemo]

*whose hat

[Phi]

X is for Xcom, that tilts Cam with missed shots*
U is for YOU! YOU DID THIS!*

[Omega Lairon]

Looks pretty good for the most part. I'm a bit of a stickler for "proper" meter in prose though, so a few lines tripped me up a little. The short version is, from the first 4 lines you're establishing the "rules" of your meter. Lines are split into halves (usually but not always where your commas are), and each half-line contains 5 syllables each for a total of 10 syllables per line. Lovely, elegant, well behaved.

But after that, there's a few lines which break the rules and as a result, come off as awkward to read or at the very least, subtly out of place. Some examples:

F is for Feed Dump, which we'll show you... eventually.

"Eventually" is a heck of a mouthful to rhyme with. At best, you're compressing it down to 4 syllables (or 3 with some... creative pronunciation). Against "correctly" at a natural 3, it's... not graceful. If you're hell bent on this pairing, consider cutting a syllable earlier on in line F (F is for Feed Dump, which you'll see ee-ven-shlee").

A much tidier option is to rewrite line F as something like "F is for Feed Dump, don't watch it intently." It doesn't convey *quite* the same message, but it matches the structure of the E line very nicely.

G is for Graham, Dad who gives good advice.

To be blunt, everything after the comma here is... problematic. The monosyllabic words bring your flow to a shuddering halt, the double g wording is practically begging for readers to verbally stumble over ("good gives... damn it... GIVES. GOOD."), and again, there's just too many syllables compared to the first 6 lines.

I had a bugger of a time coming up with alternatives though... of them "G if for Graham, for sagely advice" was probably the standout, but... I'm so not happy with how impersonal and distant it presents Penelope's OWN FATHER. Also ", with beard full of lice" is entirely out of the question. It's a shame though, because the following line is actually pretty great, and I'd hate to mangle that just to get the rhyme working here.

Anyway...

M is for moonbase, Where the crew stores their treasure and crud.

So... it started out well enough, but the second half feels like it just durdles about before taking a hose to your rhyming structure... and then finally ending. Again, it's a simple fix - cut the "treasures and", and we'll be back in delightful 5/5 business. And let's be honest, it's probably a much more fair appraisal as to the value of LRR's accumulated... items. : p


So yeah - TL;DR, it's not bad for a first pass, but I would recommend sticking to the "5 syllables, pause, 5 more syllables" structure established in your first couple of lines.

[vorox4]

Yeah, I'm not very proud of a few of the rhymes in here. The problems are mostly due to the fact that Chat was coming up with things and some of them thought up rhymes but others were just thrown out there, and I tried to find a way to fit them in.
I've taken some of Omega Lairon's advice and edited the moonbase line, I was trying not to only call the moonbase stuff crud, as I actually think a lot of it is really neat, but I think the good natured tone is implied. I've been mulling over the rest of your suggestions, and I might work in a few more of them in other edits. Also, thanks to AdmaralMemo for catching that spelling error. This is a first draft, so feel free to tell me any more comments or advice you might have about it.

[Malcairad]

This?! This gets replies but my Tugger Nutts books get nothing?!? Wtf man wtmfgds!

[the amativeness]

Additional comment: having everything as a 2-line rhyming scheme up until Q makes the ending seem a little odd.

Q-R rhyme, which is fine, but ideally then S should rhyme with T, not Q and R.

It's "fixed" with the V-W-X triple, but seems a little clunky.

[Darkflame]

This?! This gets replies but my Tugger Nutts books get nothing?!? Wtf man wtmfgds!

I think your works stun people into silence that you did so much!