The voxlunch stream shelter thread

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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby pixel_p » 11 Nov 2016, 12:48

I don't have nearly enough spoons to dig in to any quarrels here, other than to point out the odd irony of prickly arguments over a place of calm and camaraderie.

Also, to softly suggest that said a place of comfort and friendship seems totally opposite to the supposed "echo chamber" we are probably imagining, based on that phrase's... negative connotation. "Echo chamber" implies we are all deep in a hole bouncing loaded opinions off one another and alienating anyone outside of that opinion, and that implied reading cannot be farther from the truth.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Wraith » 11 Nov 2016, 13:21

Elaro wrote:
Elomin Sha wrote:Sincere question: is covering oneself in a shell, repeatedly, a good idea? You're going to have to come out at some point and just deal with it like adults, falling apart isn't going to help.


The shelter protects the mind while it comes up with a coping mechanism.


Do you know why your mind doesn't already have a coping mechanism?

Because of stuff like this. Because you've been far too sheltered in your lives. Too protected from the reality you live in. Too coddled. When I was a kid, parents stopped holding their hands over children's ears when they reached elementary school. The more you hide from reality, the more you stick your fingers in your ears and go "no no no, I don't like what's happening or what you have to say, no no no" the worse you make it for yourselves. This is the world you live in. Deal with it. Not by hiding, but head-on. That's how you develop "coping mechanisms."

vorox4 wrote:Thank you, memo!
, why is having a space where you can take refuge so bad?


Because you're making things worse. If you're finding yourself "unable to cope" with the results of the presidential election, the last thing in the world that you need is to be hiding away from what scares you. It's time to put on the big boy pants and face that shit. Look at it. Take it in. Study it. Learn from it. That's how you grow stronger. You know what's worse than something really bad happening to you? Missing out on the opportunity to learn and to grow as a result of it happening to you.

vorox4 wrote: People are terrified, *terrified* for their right to be who they are, for their right to control of their own bodies, sometimes for the right to their own lives. There are people who are feeling broken and hopeless, and they need somewhere to go where they can feel like they are cared about, where they are appreciated and their experiences of being threatened by this can be spoken about and understood by people who are in the same situation. And if you don't respect that, then you don't respect me, or any of us.


If you're freaking out this badly, the solution isn't to descend into panic and hide from reality. The solution is to calm down and start thinking objectively.

Danielle Pepin wrote:Solidarity found in storm shelter streams does help people feel stronger.


Avoiding reality makes you feel stronger…

You and I have very different definitions of strength.

Danielle Pepin wrote: Without it everyone would face things not knowing how to cope with their anxiety and that's unhealthy.


No they wouldn't. Quite the opposite. That's how you learn to cope with hard times. By facing them. By dealing with them. This kind of coddled avoidance is precisely why you don't know how to cope.

ReilaOda wrote: Your'e one of those bulldozers like I am that just windmills into battle smashing problems as you go. I get that.

Not everyone has that mentality or capacity to do so.


You think we were born bulldozers?

As much as I'd like to say that my first act of life was to kill the doctor who dared to strike my chiseled butt; we were born weak and frail and terrified and screaming just like everyone else. You know what made us "bulldozers?" For most of us, it came because we took shit most of our lives and we dealt with it. There was a time before the internet. Before "safe spaces" and "trigger warnings." Before participation trophies and hashtag campaigns for every slight you experience in your life. And at the same time? Intolerance was worse, convenience was less, and words like "bully" took on a decidedly more vicious connotation.

But you know what? We still dealt with it. And it sucked. It sucked bad. It was difficult and miserable and in my vulnerable youth I wished I had and escape. But you know what I figured out years later? I figured out that it all made me stronger. You learn how to deal with the crap that comes your way, and the next time something bad happens - and make no mistake, there will be a next time. And a next, and a next until you die - you're ready, because you remember the lessons you learned last time.

I spent 4 years in a community with an active Klan presence. It was a life of constant hostility. Whatever you've heard about them not liking black folks? You can double that in regards to how they feel about "half bloods." I still have a scar on my head from when one of their kids cracked my skull open. Not fun.

But you konw what? Half a decade later, when planes started flying into building, and the world turned upside down, and I found myself in a former confederate state looking indistinguishable from a middle-eastern immigrants (enough that other immigrants think I'm from their country)? There was some prejudice; but I knew how to deal with it. Because it was been there, done that. If I'd ran during those 4 awful years? I don't think I would have gotten through 9/11.

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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Delanofilms » 11 Nov 2016, 13:39

Wow, it's pretty tough to believe the amount of salt and negativity coming out of this community. Especially in reaction to people trying to create a safe place for others to calm down, feel safe, digest, and figure out how to move forward. I'm pretty okay with some folk in this thread not contributing to the shelter.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby pixel_p » 11 Nov 2016, 14:18

Wraith wrote:Do you know why your mind doesn't already have a coping mechanism?

Because of stuff like this. Because you've been far too sheltered in your lives. Too protected from the reality you live in. Too coddled. When I was a kid, parents stopped holding their hands over children's ears when they reached elementary school. The more you hide from reality, the more you stick your fingers in your ears and go "no no no, I don't like what's happening or what you have to say, no no no" the worse you make it for yourselves. This is the world you live in. Deal with it. Not by hiding, but head-on. That's how you develop "coping mechanisms."


I think an error here may be your assumption that anyone can benefit from this "tough love" type approach, and that is simply not true. I agree that one needs to stay realistic and reasonable when reflecting on one's life, and to not expect that anything will be easy. However, while it may have worked well for you, many people need love and support to find motivation, not harsh ultimatums and force. I think there is a healthy balance here somewhere, which again, will differ for each individual. They aren't avoiding reality, they are taking a break from it. That's an important distinction to be made.

Many of these people may be young teens, without many opportunities to "deal with it" in healthy, productive ways. Or, like me, they may be disabled and can find themselves at other's mercy sometimes. Regardless, not everyone can or should be held to the same standards. It would be disingenuous to think them so one-dimensional that one size could fit all and be effective.

I won't try to speak for anyone other than myself, but I certainly am not going "I don't like what's happening, no no no!" in an attempt to hide or ignore the world around me. I am doing all that I know how to prepare myself. I am in college, I am making arrangements in my life to make it as best as I can and to meet my goals. And I trust that one day I will get there, even with current events.
That being said, that shit gets tiring. Having a place I can go at the end of the day and relax is crucial to maintaining morale and feeling friendship will motivate me to do my best the next morning. That's the kind of person I am, I do my best when I feel my best.

Everyone needs time off. Some more than others. Please do not conflate rest and self-care with laziness or self-neglect.

TL;DR: We're dealing with a large amount of different people here from all walks of life. No single approach will help everyone, and we'd be foolish to think otherwise. The only goal here is to be supportive for those who want it, and to provide a space in which to do so. There's literally no other "agenda" at play here. Just friendship. I don't know what else to say to convince people.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby ReilaOda » 11 Nov 2016, 14:21

Wraith wrote:
Elaro wrote:
Elomin Sha wrote:Sincere question: is covering oneself in a shell, repeatedly, a good idea? You're going to have to come out at some point and just deal with it like adults, falling apart isn't going to help.


The shelter protects the mind while it comes up with a coping mechanism.


Do you know why your mind doesn't already have a coping mechanism?

Because of stuff like this. Because you've been far too sheltered in your lives. Too protected from the reality you live in. Too coddled. When I was a kid, parents stopped holding their hands over children's ears when they reached elementary school. The more you hide from reality, the more you stick your fingers in your ears and go "no no no, I don't like what's happening or what you have to say, no no no" the worse you make it for yourselves. This is the world you live in. Deal with it. Not by hiding, but head-on. That's how you develop "coping mechanisms."

vorox4 wrote:Thank you, memo!
, why is having a space where you can take refuge so bad?


Because you're making things worse. If you're finding yourself "unable to cope" with the results of the presidential election, the last thing in the world that you need is to be hiding away from what scares you. It's time to put on the big boy pants and face that shit. Look at it. Take it in. Study it. Learn from it. That's how you grow stronger. You know what's worse than something really bad happening to you? Missing out on the opportunity to learn and to grow as a result of it happening to you.

vorox4 wrote: People are terrified, *terrified* for their right to be who they are, for their right to control of their own bodies, sometimes for the right to their own lives. There are people who are feeling broken and hopeless, and they need somewhere to go where they can feel like they are cared about, where they are appreciated and their experiences of being threatened by this can be spoken about and understood by people who are in the same situation. And if you don't respect that, then you don't respect me, or any of us.


If you're freaking out this badly, the solution isn't to descend into panic and hide from reality. The solution is to calm down and start thinking objectively.

Danielle Pepin wrote:Solidarity found in storm shelter streams does help people feel stronger.


Avoiding reality makes you feel stronger…

You and I have very different definitions of strength.

Danielle Pepin wrote: Without it everyone would face things not knowing how to cope with their anxiety and that's unhealthy.


No they wouldn't. Quite the opposite. That's how you learn to cope with hard times. By facing them. By dealing with them. This kind of coddled avoidance is precisely why you don't know how to cope.

ReilaOda wrote: Your'e one of those bulldozers like I am that just windmills into battle smashing problems as you go. I get that.

Not everyone has that mentality or capacity to do so.


You think we were born bulldozers?

As much as I'd like to say that my first act of life was to kill the doctor who dared to strike my chiseled butt; we were born weak and frail and terrified and screaming just like everyone else. You know what made us "bulldozers?" For most of us, it came because we took shit most of our lives and we dealt with it. There was a time before the internet. Before "safe spaces" and "trigger warnings." Before participation trophies and hashtag campaigns for every slight you experience in your life. And at the same time? Intolerance was worse, convenience was less, and words like "bully" took on a decidedly more vicious connotation.

But you know what? We still dealt with it. And it sucked. It sucked bad. It was difficult and miserable and in my vulnerable youth I wished I had and escape. But you know what I figured out years later? I figured out that it all made me stronger. You learn how to deal with the crap that comes your way, and the next time something bad happens - and make no mistake, there will be a next time. And a next, and a next until you die - you're ready, because you remember the lessons you learned last time.

I spent 4 years in a community with an active Klan presence. It was a life of constant hostility. Whatever you've heard about them not liking black folks? You can double that in regards to how they feel about "half bloods." I still have a scar on my head from when one of their kids cracked my skull open. Not fun.

But you konw what? Half a decade later, when planes started flying into building, and the world turned upside down, and I found myself in a former confederate state looking indistinguishable from a middle-eastern immigrants (enough that other immigrants think I'm from their country)? There was some prejudice; but I knew how to deal with it. Because it was been there, done that. If I'd ran during those 4 awful years? I don't think I would have gotten through 9/11.

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Point, over head. The point of this isn't to be a 'safe space echo chamber' (or blind shelter from the world) the point is to have a place for people to chill the EFF out and gather our thoughts. This is a chill peaceful zone, neutral territory. WE all are dealing with reality in our own ways, having a place to recharge can't be a bad thing. You did it for yourself no doubt, TV shows, comics, music, whatever we just happen to be using each-other.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Deedles » 11 Nov 2016, 14:41

Delanofilms wrote:Wow, it's pretty tough to believe the amount of salt and negativity coming out of this community. Especially in reaction to people trying to create a safe place for others to calm down, feel safe, digest, and figure out how to move forward. I'm pretty okay with some folk in this thread not contributing to the shelter.


Agreed. :)
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby ReilaOda » 11 Nov 2016, 14:45

Deedles wrote:
Delanofilms wrote:Wow, it's pretty tough to believe the amount of salt and negativity coming out of this community. Especially in reaction to people trying to create a safe place for others to calm down, feel safe, digest, and figure out how to move forward. I'm pretty okay with some folk in this thread not contributing to the shelter.


Agreed. :)


It is rather depressing I freely admit that.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Jamfalcon » 11 Nov 2016, 14:49

Yeah, I really don't think this is the place to have this argument. Coping strategies and taking care of mental health is important, and I don't think anyone is in denial or damaging their development by taking a break from reality. Because sure, sometimes situations arise that you can't take a break from, and those are awful. But when something like this happens and people can take an opportunity not to stew in negativity all day, I don't see anything wrong with that.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 11 Nov 2016, 15:06

Does anyone remember the Codes of Conduct (or whatever it was called) thread from a few weeks/months back?

Because we had the Exact. Same. Argument. There. And, frankly, I reckon we got a lot of the groundwork out of the way there.

I'm not going to repeat the arguments I made there but... guys, can we please remember that nobody is talking rubbish here. Wraith is talking sense, Jamfalcon's talking sense, Elomin's talking (his own fire-encrusted brand of) sense, Pixel's talking sense. But, as always, everybody has different life experience of these things, which gives them different perspectives. That's where these opinions are coming from- it's not salt, it's not hatred, it's JUST different perspectives. Thinking people are out to get you is what got us into this mess.

Please?

EDIT: Also, Wraith- been a while since I've seen you around here. How's it going?
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Wraith » 11 Nov 2016, 15:17

pixel_p wrote:I think an error here may be your assumption that anyone can benefit from this "tough love" type approach, and that is simply not true.


I benefitted from it. Entire generations of people benefitted from it. No generation in American history has been as coddled as this one, and no generation has been so prone to completely falling apart over every little thing as this one, and that’s not coincidence. You’ve been taught that “tough love” is abusive and that you need to be protected from the big, bad world around you; and what has it done for you? How has your way benefited you? You people react to mean words on social media – words you can delete, on platforms you can avoid – ten time worse than my generation reacted to the same words being said to us while we were getting our asses kicked, because that used to be the norm for bullies. You’re rioting in the streets and building adult club-houses and creating forum threads that sound like we’re in the wake of a natural disaster because you don’t like who got elected president.

I think “the error here” is your assumption that anyone can benefit from this “shelter me from reality like an over-protective parent would a kindergartenera” approach, and that is simply not true, as we’re clearly seeing here.

pixel_p wrote:However, while it may have worked well for you, many people need love and support to find motivation, not harsh ultimatums and force.


First of all, no one’s denying the importance of love and support. But you know what? Coddling someone so much that they’re completely unable to cope with reality on their own isn’t love. Your logic is similar to that of an enabler with an addict. They seem miserable without their booze or their drugs, and cant’ understand why anyone would deny them those substances when clearly it makes them feel better.

But guess what? You keep giving them that booze, or those pills or that needle, and it may make them feel better, but all you’re doing is prolonging their addiction, which is ultimately ruining their lives. That’s not love. Love is sitting with someone you care about and holding back their hair while they puke their guts out, and not giving them what they want, what they’re hurting for, because you know that this is something they need to get over.

And who’s offering ultimatums or force? I don’t even know where that came from.

pixel_p wrote:Many of these people may be young teens, without many opportunities to "deal with it" in healthy, productive ways. Or, like me, they may be disabled and can find themselves at other's mercy sometimes. Regardless, not everyone can or should be held to the same standards. It would be disingenuous to think them so one-dimensional that one size could fit all and be effective.


FFS, in their young teens is the most important time to learn these lessons. Those are the formative years. The sooner they learn how to deal with failure the better equipped they’ll be to win.

pixel_p wrote:TL;DR: We're dealing with a large amount of different people here from all walks of life. No single approach will help everyone, and we'd be foolish to think otherwise. The only goal here is to be supportive for those who want it, and to provide a space in which to do so. There's literally no other "agenda" at play here. Just friendship. I don't know what else to say to convince people.


I never said you had “an agenda.” I’m spinning conspiracy theories. But I’m just saying calm the hell down and deal with the world around you; and if you think you can’t, or you think the prospect is too terrifying to consider, then you’re the type who need to. I understand it’s scary. But it’s time to grow up, stop hiding and learn to deal with your issues.

Let me put it this way: either things are going to get considerably worse with Trump as president, or they’re not. Or they’re going to get better (just covering all the possibilities). If they’re going to stay the same or get better, then you’re freaking out over nothing. Stop that. If they’re going to get worse, then you need to start facing this shit now. Because if you’re hiding from it now, when we’re 3 days removed from the election, he’s not in power, and for the time being, the economy is getting a boost from the election, then how in God’s name are you going to deal with it when things going down hill?

Deal with the smaller stuff until you’re strong enough that the smaller stuff can’t hurt you. That’s how you get tough enough to deal with the big stuff.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby JustAName » 11 Nov 2016, 15:30

Hey all, sorry, but if this hasn't all simmered down by the time DB starts, I'm locking the thread. Not the time to be getting into this, and we don't have the capacity to properly moderate atm.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Wraith » 11 Nov 2016, 15:31

My pseudonym is Ix wrote:EDIT: Also, Wraith- been a while since I've seen you around here. How's it going?


Not bad. Rocket and I celebrated our 6th year anniversary last month. I went from being the entire IT department for a small/mid-size company to a tier-2 technician for very large company. Took a break for a bout a month all together from social media, and I'm back for a few days because my company (who trains the military and private security in counter-terrorism, focusing on EOD) has TV's turned to various news stations from open to close, and watching people react to the election has been maddening. I wrote an article about why the election turned out the way it did (long story short, it wasn't what the Republicans did right, that campaign was a train wreck, it was what the Democrats did wrong), and I thought that would be the end of it. Then I come in today, and there's footage of anti-trump activists trashing cars with Trump bumper stickers, there's been at least three reported assaults by trump supporters on minorities that turned out to be complete fabrications, and some 11 year old got the shit kicked out of him and put in crutches because he voted for trump in a mock election. So, as I haven't the means to confront every one of these idiots personally, the best I can do is what I usually do, which is to just get on the net and rant in their general direction.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Wraith » 11 Nov 2016, 15:34

Fayili wrote:Hey all, sorry, but if this hasn't all simmered down by the time DB starts, I'm locking the thread. Not the time to be getting into this, and we don't have the capacity to properly moderate atm.


I see somethings haven't change. How ya doin Fay? Why does this need to be locked? It's not bad enough that people can't deal with the realities around them, does a forum full of adults seriously need to be protected from a thread that they don't even have to open to begin with if it actually bothers them? Is everyone honestly that terrified of introspection, objective thought, and expanding their minds into territories they might not be entirely comfortable with?

Pretty much just illustrates my point.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby ReilaOda » 11 Nov 2016, 15:36

Fayili wrote:Hey all, sorry, but if this hasn't all simmered down by the time DB starts, I'm locking the thread. Not the time to be getting into this, and we don't have the capacity to properly moderate atm.


Got it.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 11 Nov 2016, 15:44

I wasn't the one who escalated it to begin with.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby ReilaOda » 11 Nov 2016, 15:46

Elomin Sha wrote:I wasn't the one who escalated it to begin with.


No that was partially my fault and I do apologize. I miss interpreted wat you said and that was my fault, unfortunately now the whole forum is suffering.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 11 Nov 2016, 16:40

ReilaOda wrote:
Elomin Sha wrote:I wasn't the one who escalated it to begin with.


No that was partially my fault and I do apologize. I miss interpreted wat you said and that was my fault, unfortunately now the whole forum is suffering.


That's okay, no harm done. It is pretty much impossible to offend me.

The forum isn't suffering, it just sometimes needs a kick to reality. This is what I incinuated earlier in my response to Camel. One little thing and it sends this place into a tizzy because it has developed into an echo chamber. Any sign of difference and it is blocked, or a threat of locking threads happens; which was very rare in the past, until the venting thread came into being. That kind of thing doesn't help. It will come as slightly egotistical of me to say: what happened here proves my point from my question at the start and what Wraith has said too.

It's being over protective that in a way has caused this, everyone flocks to bring it back to an unhealthy form of normaility that isn't natural. There are a number of people who used to come to the forum frequently, don't because of how things turned.

Although people have the best intentions you need to step back and look over what is said. My post last night I spent 3 hours reading and rewriting (as I said I have no social life). When you gang up you in turn become the bully with false accusations (not being mean, it is just how it came across). I have best intentions for the forum and I will step over a line sometimes, nto always best, to try and help. If anyone remembers a discussion I had with Memo two years ago about how he thought about the futility of life I was pushing harder because it seemed tough love was needed.

I'm the resident idiot, but I'm also quite intelligent to how I think but my early development as a child wasn't very good for me to put it into words. So there will be some friction. Which is kind of bad as I see myself as a writer.

I don't go out to be a dick, as I stated I never said this was a bad idea. I want people to make sure they are doing the right things correctly with clear thought and not through blind emotion or ideology. I don't know what people think or if they planned everything to a great detail. It's best to be ready and talk from an outsider helps.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby ReilaOda » 11 Nov 2016, 17:43

Elomin Sha wrote:
ReilaOda wrote:
Elomin Sha wrote:I wasn't the one who escalated it to begin with.

I don't go out to be a dick, as I stated I never said this was a bad idea. I want people to make sure they are doing the right things correctly with clear thought and not through blind emotion or ideology. I don't know what people think or if they planned everything to a great detail. It's best to be ready and talk from an outsider helps.


WEll then let me clarify for both you and Wraith what the purpose of the stream shelter is, I feel like it's being conflated with your traditional safe space/echo chamber. Which I despise. I hate them, loathe them. This is what a 'safe space' should be. Neutral ground. I don't care if you're for trump, or against him. I don't care if you're pro any political issue, or anti any political issue. This to me, is neutral ground. It isn't 'safe' for a specific group. This is just a chill space for all of us, every walk of life, to hang out chill and enjoy the world. It started out of fear, out of panic, but it's grown to people who support the decision and don't all welcome in. If anyone gives either side flak, especially in my chat, I will straight up purge them from the chat.

My point is it's a bit like going to a gym. All walks of life, Every shape, ability, gender, gender identity, political affiliation, be ye pro safe space, or anti safe space, is chill with the Stream Shelter.


You or Wraith want to come watch idiots be idiots on the internet. Cool, lets use this time to unwind and enjoy ourselves. There isn't any judgement when it comes to your views. I've got several regular attendees who are pro trump, I'm not. They're more than welcome. The moment yous tart being a jerk about your views, IDGAF what they are. You're being a jerk.

I know that isn't the traditional use of a safe space anymore, but that's the goal. I want every person, every person, to feel welcome and included, until they screw up.

Both of you brought up good points, and I respect that. I disagree with some of the implementation, but hey such is the nature of the internet.

So how do we keep this space cool? Well political talk is a minimum. R&P aren't the focus. Sure it's hugs and 'you're loved' but lets be honest. Love and compassion are in short supply. Sure the people have to close Chrome or what have you and approach the world. It's the job of the Stream Shelter to motivate people to stand together and do something. Give them that "Hey lets do this" moment. Help them deal with that Anxiety so they can go out and kick ass in the real world.

So that's the point behind this. I don't want this to become an echo chamber, I want it to be one of those decompression rooms where people go in and go 'alright, *Sigh* we got this'.

For the record, I realize you and I just misunderstood each-other. So In my book, you're cool.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 11 Nov 2016, 21:33

Wraith wrote:
pixel_p wrote:I think an error here may be your assumption that anyone can benefit from this "tough love" type approach, and that is simply not true.


I benefited from it. Entire generations of people benefited from it.


You know, I used to think tough love and facing your problems head on was a good idea. I did that for the first 29 years or so of my life. It made me miserable. It caused me to obsess over my problems. It drove me to the edge of suicide. It did not make me stronger. It made me weaker.

For the first time in my life over the past year and a half I have started engaging in "safe spaces" like the one purposed here. I backed off. And you know what? This has made me stronger. By far. I am capable of dealing with more and dealing with it far better now than I ever was before. And what is more than that is I am happier. I enjoy life now. I have a healthier social life. I am more successful in work, school and as a parent.

Maybe your strategy worked for you Wraith. I am glad it did for you. It doesn't work for everybody. It didn't work for me. Is it really inconceivable that not everyone is like you in this particular way? I mean, is it not possible that different people have different needs? You have said that the reason why people don't have coping mechanisms is that they have been too sheltered. How much is too much? And how do you know people who try to seek shelter here have been over sheltered? How do you know that any of us have?
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 11 Nov 2016, 22:15

"Tough love" nearly killed me. No joke. "Tough love" is a terrible thing to inflict on someone who has depression and an anxiety disorder. "Tough love" nearly ruined - nearly ended - my life.

Not to mention most of the time I've run into "tough love," it's really just been an excuse to abuse and bully. An excuse to ignore pleas for help.

Fuck "tough love."
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby JustAName » 11 Nov 2016, 22:56

Wraith wrote:
Fayili wrote:Hey all, sorry, but if this hasn't all simmered down by the time DB starts, I'm locking the thread. Not the time to be getting into this, and we don't have the capacity to properly moderate atm.


I see somethings haven't change. How ya doin Fay? Why does this need to be locked? It's not bad enough that people can't deal with the realities around them, does a forum full of adults seriously need to be protected from a thread that they don't even have to open to begin with if it actually bothers them? Is everyone honestly that terrified of introspection, objective thought, and expanding their minds into territories they might not be entirely comfortable with?

Pretty much just illustrates my point.


I'm good, thanks. My contract just got extended so I get to keep working at this rad library for another three months. So that's pretty cool.

Like I said, we don't really have the resources to mod well during DB. In addition, I feel like I have a personal stake in this argument, and therefore cannot be impartial. I don't want to have to try and pull any of the crew out of DB, so locking the thread until after it's finished this year seems like the best solution to me if this thread becomes extremely heated.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Wraith » 12 Nov 2016, 08:41

Yes, but Fay, you don't need to be "impartial," you don't need to be anything. This just perfectly illustrates what I've been saying about people running from what bothers them. We dont need a forum mommy to protect us from adult conversation. We're adults.

I tried to get you to understand this point years ago: if you don't like what's being said in a discussion thread, instead of breaking down, or worse, locking down any conversation where people aren't espousing your own views...just don't open the thread. Ignore it. If you can't engage in adult conversation, if listening to ideas that contradict your own is a traumatic experience for you, then just bow out and let the rest of us talk.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 12 Nov 2016, 10:01

I should say that when I wrote my long response I was laughing the entire time.

I could be a mod, I'm here all the time. If I am elected forum mod; I can promise you more laughter, more fire, a lot more fire. We can do it. Make LRR Forum Great Again.
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 12 Nov 2016, 11:39

Wraith:

People here are saying "Here's this thing that makes my life easier. It allows me to have the mental resources to deal with life, in an 'adult way,' day in and day out. It improves my life."

You're saying "I don't care if you say it helps you. You shouldn't rely on it. Even if it helps. Because I don't find it helpful and don't need it, I don't want you to find it helpful or need it. Do what I do and be like me, even if that doesn't work for you."

Surely you see how that's kind of shitty?
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Re: The voxlunch stream shelter thread

Postby Jenelmo » 12 Nov 2016, 12:06

Wraith wrote:I tried to get you to understand this point years ago: if you don't like what's being said in a discussion thread, instead of breaking down, or worse, locking down any conversation where people aren't espousing your own views...just don't open the thread


As I read the original post in this thread, this was not meant as a discussion thread, It was a thread to inform people of something that was happening and if you was interested you could join, kind of like the secret santa thread.
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