pixel_p wrote:I think an error here may be your assumption that anyone can benefit from this "tough love" type approach, and that is simply not true.
I benefitted from it. Entire generations of people benefitted from it. No generation in American history has been as coddled as this one, and no generation has been so prone to completely falling apart over every little thing as this one, and that’s not coincidence. You’ve been taught
that “tough love” is abusive and that you need to be protected from the big, bad world around you; and what has it done for you? How has your
way benefited you? You people react to mean words on social media – words you can delete, on platforms you can avoid – ten time worse than my generation reacted to the same words being said to us while we were getting our asses kicked, because that used to be the norm for bullies
. You’re rioting in the streets and building adult club-houses and creating forum threads that sound like we’re in the wake of a natural disaster because you don’t like who got elected president.
I think “the error here” is your
assumption that anyone can benefit from this “shelter me from reality like an over-protective parent would a kindergartenera” approach, and that
is simply not true, as we’re clearly seeing here.
pixel_p wrote:However, while it may have worked well for you, many people need love and support to find motivation, not harsh ultimatums and force.
First of all, no one’s denying the importance of love and support. But you know what? Coddling someone so much that they’re completely unable to cope with reality on their own isn’t love. Your logic is similar to that of an enabler with an addict. They seem miserable without their booze or their drugs, and cant’ understand why anyone would deny them those substances when clearly
it makes them feel better.
But guess what? You keep giving them that booze, or those pills or that needle, and it may make them feel better, but all you’re doing is prolonging their addiction, which is ultimately ruining their lives. That’s not love. Love
is sitting with someone you care about and holding back their hair while they puke their guts out, and not giving them what they want, what they’re hurting
for, because you know that this is something they need to get over.
And who’s offering ultimatums or force? I don’t even know where that came from.
pixel_p wrote:Many of these people may be young teens, without many opportunities to "deal with it" in healthy, productive ways. Or, like me, they may be disabled and can find themselves at other's mercy sometimes. Regardless, not everyone can or should be held to the same standards. It would be disingenuous to think them so one-dimensional that one size could fit all and be effective.
FFS, in their young teens is the most important time
to learn these lessons. Those are the formative years. The sooner they learn how to deal with failure
the better equipped they’ll be to win
pixel_p wrote:TL;DR: We're dealing with a large amount of different people here from all walks of life. No single approach will help everyone, and we'd be foolish to think otherwise. The only goal here is to be supportive for those who want it, and to provide a space in which to do so. There's literally no other "agenda" at play here. Just friendship. I don't know what else to say to convince people.
I never said you had “an agenda.” I’m spinning conspiracy theories. But I’m just saying calm the hell down and deal
with the world around you; and if you think you can’t
, or you think the prospect is too terrifying to consider, then you’re the type who need to
. I understand it’s scary. But it’s time to grow up, stop hiding and learn to deal with your issues.
Let me put it this way: either things are going to get considerably worse with Trump as president, or they’re not. Or they’re going to get better (just covering all the possibilities). If they’re going to stay the same or get better, then you’re freaking out over nothing. Stop that. If they’re going to get worse, then you need to start facing this shit now
. Because if you’re hiding from it now
, when we’re 3 days removed from the election, he’s not in power, and for the time being, the economy is getting a boost from the election, then how in God’s name are you going to deal with it when things going down hill?
Deal with the smaller stuff until you’re strong enough that the smaller stuff can’t hurt you. That’s how you get tough enough to deal with the big stuff.