Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

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Elomin Sha
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby Elomin Sha » 31 Jan 2017, 05:18

korvys wrote:The point of blocking someone is not to prevent them from seeing what you've said, but to prevent them from contacting you. That person will no longer appear in your feeds, will no longer appear in your notifications if they mention you, can no longer send you a DM. What is gained is silence.
I haven't said anything really mean to her, just disagreed with her.

I could not possibly speak for Fayili, but I think if someone I considered a friend blocked me, that would be a very good indication that I have incorrectly judged the nature of our previous interactions.

Or maybe not. I'm not privy to other conversations - I don't even read most of the threads here (too much to keep up with), and certainly can't see DMs or PMs. It would certainly give me pause, though.


True, but silence that was already there. The reason I culled a ton of people from twitter was due to, no one posting/using their account anymore, useless information I did not care about, spam, spamming useless information, or grandstanding.

If anyone thinks I am picking on Fayili because she's not here, I am not. I've said pretty much the gist of what I've said in public posts here. I have also been to the point with others through out life, verbally and written. I just don't make a lot of things known.

In the past I have asked Fayili in PM/DM for advice, which I am greatful for her responses, I have also given advice too. She is always ready to give help and advice to those who need it, good person, but when there is something 'confrontational', even minor like a simple disagreement: she cannot handle it. And when it is nothing to do with her she internalises it, throws herself into the middle, and makes it about herself. It is a kind of self centred thinking that doesn't really help others or the one doing it.
Examples:
Verbatum from the previous thread this one spawned from: "I wish I could lock this thread." That really is an internal monolgue that didn't need to be written. Not constructive.
"This forum hasn't been good place for ME the last few weeks. I have to take time away."
From my one word question a full blown relevant tirade saying that we shouldn't be friends making an assumption that I would be the type of person to be mean to her LBQT friends or LBQT in general. Projecting rubbish, using friends to gain sympathy/empathy; underhanded.


If anyone wants to really go back and re-read anything I have written in the last few months. You'll see I've said nothing accusatory without citing why. I have not been outright insulting (in the case of Oda I was reflecting the stupidity of over blowing something simple with something irrelevant).

This is what I asked about being adults, I think it is safe to make a guess we are all 20+, once you get to a certain point running isn't a good idea. You've reached a point in your life where you are supposed to be mature, worldly to all things not a narrow view. I can give a few examples of myself doing this and getting better.
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 31 Jan 2017, 06:59

What I find interesting is that I end up confiding in and sharing more with people here I disagree with than those I agree with. It's not something that I do on purpose either, necessarily. It's just that a larger amount of people here disagree with me than agree, and that I usually end up spending more time with those I disagree with, simply due to trying to debate positions and such. Thus, those you spend more time with, you end up trusting just a little more, and you open up to more. It's not that I wouldn't disclose the type of stuff to others, either. It's just a function of time and communication.
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby phlip » 31 Jan 2017, 14:52

Y'know, when I think about how I personally interact with people that I "consider a friend", who I "am not [...] picking on", because I "grew up"... my behaviour tends to not include going to a bunch of friends and ranting about them, quote-sniping random things they've said and drawing the worst possible inferences, and snidely implying that they're weak or childish, all in the service of... I'm not entirely sure, making some sort of point I don't entirely follow about how you're "mature" I guess?

I don't, for instance, make some sort of claim about how I've "not been outright insulting" in a giant post of outright insults towards this alleged friend.

If I ever were to do any of these things, I really wouldn't be surprised if that person wasn't my friend any more.
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby korvys » 31 Jan 2017, 20:29

Thank you phlip. I'd been trying to find the words to say almost exactly that.
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby Elomin Sha » 01 Feb 2017, 18:12

phlip wrote:Y'know, when I think about how I personally interact with people that I "consider a friend", who I "am not [...] picking on", because I "grew up"... my behaviour tends to not include going to a bunch of friends and ranting about them, quote-sniping random things they've said and drawing the worst possible inferences, and snidely implying that they're weak or childish, all in the service of... I'm not entirely sure, making some sort of point I don't entirely follow about how you're "mature" I guess?

I don't, for instance, make some sort of claim about how I've "not been outright insulting" in a giant post of outright insults towards this alleged friend.

If I ever were to do any of these things, I really wouldn't be surprised if that person wasn't my friend any more.


Sometimes when you notice something where help may be required, and pointing out flaws is sometimes the best thing that is needed. Would you rather someone who doesn't say anything and see things taking a turn for the worst, or someone to possibly speak up?
There's a method to what I say and do. I just write some of it down to see if people read, learn and can understand. Then feed more information. It's not beneficial if a person does not learn through some self discovery and not all laid out in front of them in one big go. Isn't that what was hinted in the previous thread as a rebuttal to me?
Am I an arse for this, more than likely yes.
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby phlip » 01 Feb 2017, 19:56

You think this is "help"? You honestly think anything you said in your giant post of invective at the top of the page there would be helpful to read?

You came here, with the express purpose of mouthing off about someone you feel has wronged you, just by breaking off contact. And you try to claim that any of the insults you post afterward (while simultaneously claiming to not be insulting) are helpful?
While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.
but how about watch phone?

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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 02 Feb 2017, 04:28

(This is why text-based communication SUCKS)
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby Dutch guy » 02 Feb 2017, 15:18

.... I want to comment here and I have MUCH to say about the matter. I am however not going to get involved in this because nothing good will come of it.
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Re: Alex's Stream Shelter? Safe Spaces? Echo Chambers? DISCUSS.

Postby Elomin Sha » 14 Feb 2017, 15:34

Have responded here recently because; concurrent illnesses to myself, mother had a massive medical emergency and had her bowel removed, and my step father had a massive bipolar breakdown so I had to babysit him and look after my little brother who got ill again. Still dealing with possibility that my cancer causing bacteria has returned from last year. I should grind that little thing off soon.

Help: Yes, in its own way. Some help can be blatant, some can be soft. Trust me when I say I take everything everyone says on board.
Wronged: No. People can block, ignore me whenever they want.

Have a good day all.
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