Bill went to go fight ninjas

[Bill]

I know I don’t post very often, but I think I have to post in this case. I’m leaving for a while. I have to go fight ninjas. And, why do I have to go fight ninjas? Well, I was approached, in San Francisco, by a dour looking gentleman who asked, “If I knew about the steep rise in the ninja’s population over the past couple of years.” I said,
“I hadn’t.” And, he said, flippantly.
“Exactly they’re sneaky, that’s the problem.” He went on and on about figures about how many ninja related deaths occur each year, how ninja’s negatively impact our economy, and whatever else, I zoned out for a bit, but then he asked, “would you like to keep the ninja population down?”
“Sure, who wouldn’t, but why me?”
“You look like a guy that’s killed a few ninjas.”
“Nope. But I have played a lot ninjas in many video games, so I think I understand the mind a ninja. Like never go after rice balls they’re just a distraction, ninja tend to roll a lot, and if ninjas are blocking all the time, like ninja ‘turtles’, just throw them an--’’ He interrupts my ramble and says,
“Okay I get it, you’re hired.” I respond back not bothering to hide my shit eating grin,
“High Turn over, huh.”
“Ninja are assholes.” We both laughed. Then I went back to the hotel we were staying at packed up my stuff, and I went the Ninja Fighting Organization (N.F.O.) training centre where I am right now.

So that’s the story any questions?



FAQ of the “Bill went to go fight ninjas” post


Q: Where did Bill go?
A: He went to go fight ninjas.

Q: Will Bill be back?
A: Yes, once the ninja population is below an acceptable level.

Q: Does Bill fear death at the hands ninjas?
A: No, Bill only fears dishonor.

Q: Will Lavos get any better a DotA?
A: After reading his Rexxar guide, No I fucking doubt it.

Please remember kids have your Ninjas spayed or neutered.

[Alja-Markir]

Did this dour gentleman perchance have an eyepatch, tropical bird, and/or peg limb of any kind? Was he somewhat grody and foul, stinking of bilge and fish heads (while still dour of course)? Did he speak from the thromborax?!?

~Alja-Markir~

[YamaroV2]

[Alja-Markir]

What's the status of the Great Ninja / Pirate War in Canada, anyway? I mean, it can't be too bad given...



Or are they a splinter group?

~Alja-Markir~

[Cake]

Please remember kids have your Ninjas spayed or nurtured.

Nurtured? I guess it's only appropriate that if I'm going to spay him, that I nurture him through his time of grief at losing his womanhood.

In related news, I'd like to know WHAT REALLY HAPPENED to Bill.

[Lavos]

lol lol lol lol lol

[tak197]

riiiiiiiiight. When you come back from "fighting the ninja", just be sure to clean up after yourself. Remember to do as Miyagi tells you, "Wax On Wax Off".

Yes I know there is a difference between ninja and karate.

But if there were real ninjas with mystical powers how is it that they can't walk on water and stop swords with their hands?

[Cake]

Cause the people at Mythbusters aren't ninjas.

[YamaroV2]

riiiiiiiiight. When you come back from "fighting the ninja", just be sure to clean up after yourself. Remember to do as Miyagi tells you, "Wax On Wax Off".

Yes I know there is a difference between ninja and karate.

But if there were real ninjas with mystical powers how is it that they can't walk on water and stop swords with their hands?

Fuck off, how'd you know Karate kid was on tonight?

[DontPanic]

I support this post and all posts about ninja assasinations.

[JesterJ.]

I agree

Ninjas are overrated.

[Lavos]

Well, parkour is probably based off the ninja art of flying everywhere and jumping off walls, and parkour can never be overrated because its just too awesome. Therefore, ninjas can never be overrated because they are to awesome.

[DontPanic]

If Bill used the ninja's kinetic energy of wall jumping against them, parkour can still be cool, ninja's can be killed, and Bill can reign supreme.

[Lavos]

If bill spams waveform like a prick, he can win. But I'm pretty sure a blood seeker is going to blood rage himself, rupture bill, and kill him.

[DontPanic]

Can Bill use Medpacks?

[Lavos]

Only paul can.

[DontPanic]

In response I shall reenact the scene from Point Break where Keanu fires his gun into the air in frustration.

[meisbored]

In response I shall reenact the scene from Point Break where Keanu fires his gun into the air in frustration.

In response to your response I shall reenact the scene from Hot Fuzz where Danny Butterman reenacts the scene from Point Break where Keanu fires his gun into the air in frustration.

[DontPanic]

I was going to do that, but I couldn't find an image on google of Nick Frost doing the scene, so I stuck with the original.

Well done.

[Lavos]

In response to the response to the response, I show you bills leaked sextape with morgan.

[meisbored]

I'm betting if such tape did exist, it's audio would be identical to that, including the laughter.

[AmazingPjotrMan]

Personally I'd watch out for Dr.McNinja.

[tak197]

How do you know John? Seriously pjotr, how the FUCK do you know my friend John?

[Alja-Markir]

Yeah, about that tak. Pjotr most likely doesn't really know him, your friend is probably just an unoriginal bastard.

Dr. McNinja a well known webcomic.

[AmazingPjotrMan]

How do you know John? Seriously pjotr, how the FUCK do you know my friend John?

I'm sorry... who?