Hay thar sexay!

Drop by and talk about anything you want. This is where all cheese-related discussions should go
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Lavos
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Hay thar sexay!

Postby Lavos » 18 Aug 2007, 23:59

Post a bunch of horrible pick up lines, stories about said pickup lines or dumb things you have said to a girl.


onetwothreeGO.
i dont know what's happening anymore
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JesterJ.
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Postby JesterJ. » 19 Aug 2007, 00:03

"Is there a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants"


Beat that!
"Good thing we got Jester to carry." -Morgan, January 20th, 2009
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Misty
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Postby Misty » 19 Aug 2007, 00:28

Thank God no guy has tried any cheesy lines on me, I'd laugh right in their face and tell them to get lost... BUT ANYWAY- here's the most horrible one I can think of (and, of course, it's from Fresh Prince)

"Girl, I know your feet must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day!"
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browncoat
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Postby browncoat » 19 Aug 2007, 00:30

"Heeeeeyyyyyy..." - Joey.

(Well, I hope it was that... It's been ages since I watched Friends)
Can't take the sky from me. Again.
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Postby YamaroV2 » 19 Aug 2007, 00:31

Hey baby, we all urinate. Wanna fuck?
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Lavos
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Postby Lavos » 19 Aug 2007, 00:32

mistyladybug wrote:Thank God no guy has tried any cheesy lines on me, I'd laugh right in their face and tell them to get lost...
;'(
i dont know what's happening anymore
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Postby JesterJ. » 19 Aug 2007, 01:19

Nice shoes. Let's fuck.
"Good thing we got Jester to carry." -Morgan, January 20th, 2009
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Kate!
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Postby Kate! » 19 Aug 2007, 01:32

I was on the bus once, and this guy got up from his seat at the front, and walked all the way to me sitting by myself at the back.

He sat down beside me, and after I took out my headphones to ask him if ne needed anything, because he wasn't leaving, he said, 'Hey. Got a name?'

I looked at him and went, 'Bleh.'

And then spent the next while trying to get away from him. I ended up getting off my bus 4 stops early.


A few months later, he was on the bus again, and did the same thing.
'Hey. Got a name?'

I turned, and looked at him, and said, 'That's the line you used on me last time. I wasn't interested then, and I'm not interested now. Please leave me alone.'

And without a word, he got up, and got off the bus.
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Postby Kate! » 19 Aug 2007, 01:33

PS. I'm a bitch.
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Fumbles
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Postby Fumbles » 19 Aug 2007, 01:37

not a pick up line but oh well

on realization that I've told her to come to a movie 20 minutes before the movie starts I thinks of something to say. Even though she was 10 minutes late I was "oh hey, oh I thought the movie started at ten to 2 not at 2 so yeah really sorry about that"

*really strange look* "um.. that's ok"

tried to pay for both tickets but I asked about the price and 2 minutes of utter confusion followed with both the girl and the counter person trying to explain that everyone pays only $10 on Tuesday no matter what their age. I finally paid for my ticket and only bought 1. When I realized this she had already paid for hers. Apologizing ensued and again she said it was fine. The day didn't go too well which was a shame
Last edited by Fumbles on 19 Aug 2007, 01:39, edited 1 time in total.
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Misty
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Postby Misty » 19 Aug 2007, 01:38

Lavos wrote:
mistyladybug wrote:Thank God no guy has tried any cheesy lines on me, I'd laugh right in their face and tell them to get lost...
;'(


Haha... break any hopes there, buddy? Sorry, but I'm taken anyways :P

Oh wow, Kate, I love your approach! See, I'm not the only one who doesn't appreciate stupid lines (I guess that makes me a bitch too)
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Postby Allen! » 19 Aug 2007, 01:41

Kate! wrote:I was on the bus once, and this guy got up from his seat at the front, and walked all the way to me sitting by myself at the back.

He sat down beside me, and after I took out my headphones to ask him if ne needed anything, because he wasn't leaving, he said, 'Hey. Got a name?'

I looked at him and went, 'Bleh.'

And then spent the next while trying to get away from him. I ended up getting off my bus 4 stops early.


A few months later, he was on the bus again, and did the same thing.
'Hey. Got a name?'

I turned, and looked at him, and said, 'That's the line you used on me last time. I wasn't interested then, and I'm not interested now. Please leave me alone.'

And without a word, he got up, and got off the bus.


I don't know why you're always so mean to me on the bus. D:
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JesterJ.
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Postby JesterJ. » 19 Aug 2007, 01:41

Kate! wrote:PS. I'm a bitch.


Well, at least you said please, and not "Fuck off."
"Good thing we got Jester to carry." -Morgan, January 20th, 2009
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Postby Master Gunner » 19 Aug 2007, 07:36

http://xkcd.com/279/
I've never used any real pickup lines myself, unless you count "Hello". I find that's the best way to start a conversation with a girl, which you can then later steer towards her pants, and the removal thereof.
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Alja-Markir
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Postby Alja-Markir » 19 Aug 2007, 09:55

Weird Al Yankovich wrote:I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostrils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms

Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you's like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up

I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Unh hunh!

I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom

Girl, you must be Jamaican...
Because ja makin' me crazy...


Took out the chorus, as it's not much of a pickup line.

~Alja~
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Postby OmegaZultan » 19 Aug 2007, 10:45

Do you like blueberries? Or strawberries? Cause I wanna know what pancakes to make you in the morning.
--OmegaZultan--
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Postby Sieg Reyu » 19 Aug 2007, 11:23

Is it me, or does this rag smell like Chloroform?
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Postby JesterJ. » 19 Aug 2007, 11:36

Alja-Markir wrote:
Weird Al Yankovich wrote:Awesome song.

~Alja~


I was wondering when someone would post that.

"Girl you must be Jamaican, because ja'makin me crazy."
One of my favorites. Also "girl you're so hot you melt the elastic in my underpants"
"Good thing we got Jester to carry." -Morgan, January 20th, 2009
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Alex Steacy
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Postby Alex Steacy » 19 Aug 2007, 15:07

According to Derek & Clive:

"The sophisticated man, what he does is get his willy out, put it in their hand and start to cry."
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Corax
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Postby Corax » 21 Aug 2007, 02:23

browncoat wrote:"Heeeeeyyyyyy..." - Joey.

(Well, I hope it was that... It's been ages since I watched Friends)


i beleive its: (h)Ow you doin
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tak197
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Postby tak197 » 23 Aug 2007, 19:51

"Baby, I want to make you speak in tongues all night long."

"Excuse me, I belive you have one of my ribs."

"Do you have a map? I got lost in your eyes."
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YamaroV2
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Postby YamaroV2 » 23 Aug 2007, 20:03

Can I ping your terminal?
No longer your barrel-rolling monkey.
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Postby Cake » 23 Aug 2007, 20:20

Come sit on my lap, we can talk about whatever pops up.
Wil Wheaton says "Game over, Moonpie."
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tak197
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Postby tak197 » 23 Aug 2007, 20:35

Cake wrote:Come sit on my lap, we can talk about whatever comes up between us.


Fixed
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Lavos
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Postby Lavos » 23 Aug 2007, 21:27

Hold up a sign saying: "I had no edge-a-cashon teach me sex ed pleez" to girls that pass you.
i dont know what's happening anymore

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