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Morgan
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Everyone!!

Postby Morgan » 27 Oct 2007, 17:04

It is time for me to come clean about something that has been bugging me for years.

I suffer from both premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Let me start off by saying these two problems are no laughing matter. I have tried many different ways to fix this problem but i cannot seems to get it beat (pun intended) Any suggestions from you guys would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Crying himself to sleep tonight...again.
Morgan
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Cake
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Postby Cake » 27 Oct 2007, 17:09

GET A SEX CHANGE
Wil Wheaton says "Game over, Moonpie."
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Lavos
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Postby Lavos » 27 Oct 2007, 17:10

Convert to judaism! It will make you skinny and have a bigger penis!
i dont know what's happening anymore
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NecroVale
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Postby NecroVale » 27 Oct 2007, 17:10

Take a vow of chastity.
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OmegaZultan
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Postby OmegaZultan » 27 Oct 2007, 17:25

wow, this is starting to look like an awesome weekend. Im betting Matt has the next confession.
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YamaroV2
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Postby YamaroV2 » 27 Oct 2007, 17:42

20 bucks says Matt's gay.
No longer your barrel-rolling monkey.
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The Pious Flea
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Postby The Pious Flea » 27 Oct 2007, 17:43

Barring some medical problem, Morgan's second difficulty seems likely to be psychological, most likely a reaction to his first.

To solve the first problem, I recommend that Morgan think of George Bush's warm, rubbery lips placed wetly over his own as the President of the United States embraces him in a friendly, yet excessively invasive, hug.

This will almost certainly prevent ejaculation. However, it is likely to cause a resurgence in the second difficulty. I recommend drugs - the cause of, and solution to, most sexual problems.
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Zombaholic
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Subject is camping

Postby Zombaholic » 27 Oct 2007, 17:49

You're trusting the internet?
Ask me anything about Reboot!
Don't ask me anything about reboot
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Re: Subject is camping

Postby Unclever title » 27 Oct 2007, 18:01

Zombaholic wrote:You're trusting the internet?


Oh man! That's a horrible idea! I mean the internet seems okay at first and acts all nice to you to your face, but turn your back on it and it'll start making fun of you like you wouldn't believe! Seriously, you wouldn't believe it.

There it is inviting you in with open arms and calling you promising beautiful things and then it turns around and stabs you in the back!!

You might do alright when you lend it money and stuff, the internet might, just might pay you back. But I wouldn't count on it.

Whatever you do, do NOT get in a relationship with the internet! I'm not sure if you knew this but the internet is a total whore! You know how many people a day, an hour, a minute, a SECOND the internet does it with? It's in the millions, MILLIONS!! Maybe even billions...

Look I'm not being paranoid here, just stay away from the internet, really you'll do a whole lot better.

Oh and by the way, the internet's also a pedophile! Trust me, stay away from the internet, it's a horrible person.
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CyberTractor
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Postby CyberTractor » 27 Oct 2007, 21:33

When you think you're about to ejaculate, think of Jesus.

Kills the mood every time.
I can't think of a signature.
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Lavos
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Postby Lavos » 28 Oct 2007, 22:09

I think there should be a forum dedicated to threads as epic as this.
i dont know what's happening anymore
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CyberTractor
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Postby CyberTractor » 28 Oct 2007, 23:05

Lavos wrote:I think there should be a forum dedicated to threads as epic as this.


They do. It's called 4chan.
I can't think of a signature.
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Citin
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Postby Citin » 28 Oct 2007, 23:28

maybe your best option is to receive from now on rather then give
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Postby Allen! » 29 Oct 2007, 00:21

YamaroV2 wrote:20 bucks says Matt's gay.


If you have Matt's facebook, you'll notice he changed a lot of things in the past couple days, and his status was erratic, to say the least. =P
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