Damned cake, needs opinions

[Zombaholic]

Me and my friend finally got our hands on Garry's mod and the first thought to come to our minds was, "GARRY IS COOL!" The second thought was that we should do a comic series. So, I pose to the folks of the LRR forum, Damned Cake.

The basic premise is the old story of the Red team vs the Blu team. We sort of named each of the characters their own names then referring to them as "The Demo Man" More personality I guess. Teams as such

Blu:
Demo Man - Brewer
Pyro - Him
Scout - Wedge
Spy - N/A
Medic - Dr.McCoy

Red:
Soldier - Sarg
Scout - Splitz
Engineer - Crank
Sniper - Slick
Lou the Heavy

So! With the formalities out of the way here's the first three pages. I ask what you guys think and if we should chase our dream of getting free something.

Episode 1: Damned Cake
Episode 2: Pigeon of Valor
Episode 3: The B Sharps

[Cake]

Pictures are too big, hate scrolling the screen left and right. Didn't read more then the first one because of that. Also, I think the first one was funny.

[Jarannis]

The fact someone named Cake, with the cake avatar, is living in the same state as I am, baffles the mind.


ANYWAY. On topic: As the other guy said, yeah, the images are too big.

What I would suggest is trying to condense the comic a little bit. I'm not saying to go four-panel "same-size-every-time" comic, but a little less of the wide thing and a little more of the tall thing would be great.

The jokes, while funny, feel reeeeeeeeeeeeealy drawn out. Being in a primarily visual medium, I could understand wanting a lot of space and detail, but if you could perhaps spread it out over more than one comic, have it be a story arc of some sort, with the last comic being the big single-panel punch line or something.

Just my two-tenths of a peso.

[Allen!]

I like it!