Wish Corrupting Game

[the amativeness]

Granted. Your eyebrows grow together, and form a giant caterpillar. Any razor that tries to tame it breaks on contact.

I wish that I could land my dream job.

[wilson_x1999]

Granted. Your dream job lasts 5 minutes and then becomes your nightmare job.

I wish I didn't have to deal with users in order to fix their computers.

[tak197]

Granted, now you are their computers and they don't know how to use computers.

I wish this wish would be corrupted.

[Arius]

Granted, the wish comes true. You get so excited you leap into the air and bang your knee against your desk, causing you to lean forward and smack your head into the desk, knocking you unconcious. But as you fall, you send your chair flying to hit your bed and it deflects off into your bookcase. Three books from the top of the shelf fall off and form a small ramp, then a marble rolls down the ramp and picks up enough speed to be launched towards you and land in your mouth. It breaks a tooth and wakes you up, leading to you swollowing the marble. But, as it goes down, you choke a bit and it falls into your lungs. Your ability to exercise is limited and you begin gaining a lot of weight. Pretty soon you weigh 457 lbs and need to use leg braces to walk. While you're walking down a flight of stairs, the leg braces snap, sending you tumbling down, but on the plus side the marble is jarred from your lungs. It rolls out and a woman steps on it. She slips backwards and lands on her back. Rushing over to help her out, you notice she is the girl who turned you down in school. She recognizes you and laughs out loud, saying she was right in rejecting you since this is how you turned out.

I wish morning was here.

[DRog]

Granted! It's morning. The sun is up, and everything is fantastic. Then an atom bomb drops right on your head. You feel nothing before being disintegrated.

I wish that I could juggle.

[wilson_x1999]

Granted. You are now the best juggler ever, you're so good that juggling normal bowling pins and balls becomes boring, so you start juggling knives, axes and finally chainsaws but then, you make a tiny little mistake and lose both arms while juggling chainsaws.

I wish I had some nice food at my new place.

[Shinoki]

Granted, but you are hermetically sealed forever inside your old place.

I wish for a velociraptor! This can't go wrong!

[goat]

Granted! Science manages to resurrect the velociraptor as well as many other species of dinosaur. Excited, you purchase one and raise it as your pet, quickly becoming your best friend and disemboweling all your enemies for you. However, god was trying to make a point when he killed them off the first time, and so to make sure that humanity understands the error of its ways, sends another meteor and eliminates 99.9% of all life on earth. Luckily, you and your pet are among the survivors, but all of your loved ones have died. With nothing to eat in the wasteland as nearly all organic matter has been obliterated, your pet returns to its feral state and regretfully devours you, only to die itself several days later from a mixture of starvation and utter loneliness.

I wish that that corruption wasn't so depressing.

[I X]

Granted. You become insane with happiness and nothing can ever depress you...not even global warming, world hunger, or the deaths of those you love.

I wish I wasn't so twisted.

[Master Gunner]

Granted. The internet breaks your mind. I mean literally, it splits into several smaller, non-communicated pieces, and you die.


I wish I didn't suck at small-talk.

[goat]

Granted! you become excellent at small-talk, so excellent that everyone is instantly enchanted by you, but people enjoy small talk with you so much that you can never talk about anything deeper, and sink into a deep ennui.

I wish it were about 10 degrees (Fahrenheit) warmer out

[Dutch guy]

Granted, It's now 10 degrees Fahrenheit warmer than the boiling point of water outside.

I wish that damn ulcer on the side of my tongue would go away.

[Arius]

Granted, tongue removed!

I wish Mann Co. wasn't already outperforming me on my own damn site.

[the amativeness]

Granted! But your site isn't doing better. Mann Co.'s just doing worse.

I wish for two uncorrupted wishes, this being one of the two.

[Mister Fiend]

Granted! Not sure why you wanted to be ass raped by a nine dicked baboon, but there you go.

I wish I had like fifty pounds of cheese and a massive fondue pot.

[Master Gunner]

Granted. However, I predict death and devastation in the near future at you (I can neither confirm nor deny if it will be by my own hand), so make your other wish quickly.

I wish I had a single pound of carbon atoms on my desk.

[Shinoki]

Granted, you set the fondue pot to boil, but forget about it while watching a particularly funny LRR skit, you get stuck in the LRR video loop all the while the pot is boiling hotter and hotter. You hear a massive crack as the pot shatters from overheating and the molten cheese overflows. You are fondue'd to death by molten cheese.

I wish Master Gunner had a single pound of carbon atoms on his desk.

[empath]

Granted. However it's a pound of exotic carbon-19 isotope, and in the forty-six milliseconds it takes for half of the 454g of them to decay into C-12, you are bombarded with enough released neutrons to kill you.

I wish my bank account and both credit cards weren't overdrawn.

[Arius]

Granted, they're closed and sent to collections!

I wish I didn't need to wear pants to the store.

[empath]

Granted. A freak revolving door accident amputates both your legs.

I wish I had more chocolate.

[Vigafre]

Granted, but it's chocolate filled with mayonnaise.

I wish my avatar hadn't taken as much effort as it did.

[Master Gunner]

Granted. You didn't make an avatar, so we have no idea who we are and shun you.

I wish I hadn't made this post.

[goat]

Granted! I shit on Vigafre's wish in your place, but you simply end up shitting on someone else's instead.

I wish I didn't have to eat out tonight.

[Master Gunner]

Granted, you're dead.

I wish I didn't have such bad acne, without anything harmful happening to me as an alternative.

[Shinoki]

Granted, Acne is gone replaced by many hairy freckles.

I wish this DVD I borrowed from the library and need for an essay would rip properly.