Wish Corrupting Game

[goat]

Granted! you are expelled from the hospital when the oxygen tank in your room explodes, propelling you through the window.

I wish the violin player next door had chosen to practice earlier in the day.

[Shinoki]

Granted, but they will still stop practicing at the same time regardless of when they began.

I wish for magic beans.

[epocalypse]

Granted, Alja, realizing you had sent him on a fool's errand to the guy IN CHARGE of the paperwork and fully licensed in all forms of spatial and temporal manipulation as a part of his job duties, decides some retribution is in order. So he puts you in a time-locked location, with all the work you have, ever have had, and ever will had, and your only chance of ever getting out is to complete everything as soon as possible.

AWESOME!!! MY PLAN WORKED PERFECTLY!!! MUAHHAHAHA!!

Ehem... Granted, you have magic beans. Upon planting them they blow up earth. MAGIC!

I wish it was over.

[empath]

Granted, the awards show is prematurely ended due to a terrorist attack that destroys the venue and kills much of Hollywood's elite. The resultant drought forces people to actually deal with their lives and solve their problems instead of revelling in two-hour doses of escapism. Society thrives but completely casts aside film entertainment, leaving anyone interested in the medium treated with pity and condescension.

I wish to land safely from my sudden egress from the hospital.

[Shinoki]

Granted, due to your incredible foresight you deploy your parachute at the critical moment. You land softly on the ground without a scratch. Unfortunately the hospital does not fare as well.

I wish people would stop wishing for things that I feel bad about corrupting.

[DRog]

Granted! People start wishing for inane, stupid things that aren't funny at all.

I wish I got a good grade on my last test.

[tak197]

Granted, you got an A! Too bad that was your last test. *headshots DRog*

I wish I wasn't this happy about who won the Oscars.

[DRog]

Granted! Thanks to your wish, the Jonas Brothers won EVERYTHING for their concert movie. Thanks a lot.

I wish that I didn't have this large hole through my head.

[Mister Fiend]

Granted! Science has given you a new head! It was donated by Pauly Shore.

I wish I was no longer encumbered by petty morality, and was able to indulge in my dark hungers without feeling such worthless emotions like "regret", "disgust", and "remorse" as I go about my heinous duties.

[WickedBoy6]

Granted, you are now a zombie. Feast on brains.

I wish I could find a shampoo that caters to my needs.

[tak197]

Granted. Congratulations, you now have lice every other week, and therefore need Rid shampoo.

I wish my legs didn't hurt so much from walking on Saturday.

[WickedBoy6]

Granted, you now have a severed spine and no longer have feeling in your legs. Of course, you also need a wheelchair...

I wish I could find a better-tasting diet soda.

[epocalypse]

Granted, although unfortunately, it's by my standards, and I don't get that aftertaste from aspartame.

I wish I was as good a snowboarder as Shaun White.

[WickedBoy6]

Granted, though he enters every competition you enter, practices everywhere you are, and essentially becomes your biggest rival. You will never break away from being his equal, and you will never win anything as long as he is alive. The depression becomes too much, and you willfully do a suicide run down the steepest snow-covered cliff you find. You die within your anguish, but you pulled off an 1080 beforehand so...you have that.

I wish for a better burrito.

...ewwww, aspartame.

[Highlander]

granted you find and consume the greatest burito that will and has ever existed it has a secret ingredient ricin. The poison brings the taste to new heights of awsomeness but you die moments later

I wish this horrible vomiting bug would go away without my own death

[empath]

Granted, but it leaves you to infect everyone you know and care about, and they're not as resilient to it as you are, and you are left alone and forlorn in the world.

I wish I wasn't killed by debris from the nearby collapsing hospital.

(I dunno about anyone else, but I'm really enjoying this running gag )

[Dutch guy]

Granted, but you landed on a highway and theres a truck barreling your way. And remember there is now no hospital nearby

I wish I could type as fast as paul does in empath's avatar

[empath]

Granted, but it's only going to turn out as unintelligible gibberish.

I wish that truck would miss me...

[wilson_x1999]

Granted, the truck misses you so much that it can't live with out you and so, it kidnaps you and keeps you hostage for the rest of your life.

I wish my headphones weren't broken.

[goat]

Granted! your headphones are no longer broken. However, when you begin to enjoy them, your finger slips and cranks the volume bursting both ear drums and leaving you deaf.

I wish all of my work for this week was already done.

[WickedBoy6]

Granted, but since you continue showing up at your job and doing nothing, since it's all done, you end up fired before the week's end.

I wish I was immune to the negativities of wishes.

[empath]

Granted, but you also become immune to the positivities of wishes, too, leaving you entirely unaffected by wishes from now on.

I wish I could escape the clutches of my kidnapping stalker truck.

[goat]

Granted! but since you've been held captive by the truck for so long, you've started to develop a loving attachment to it. Now that you're free from your relationship, you go on a string of abusive relationships with all kinds of cars and trucks and even a couple of boats. Eventually, you meet a large truck who you feel is more than meets the eye. After a short courtship, you marry and he transforms your life. Congratulations to the new Prime family.

I wish I had more soda (as in drinking soda, not baking).

[Dutch guy]

granted, its diet cherry coke lemon. now with added vinegar

I wish my ingrown toenail hadn't gotten infected.

[epocalypse]

Granted, but only cause you got hit by a bus before it could.

I wish that the next poster's wish is granted without it being corrupted.