Wish Corrupting Game

[General Michi]

Granted, you own a happy NES that can only play happy games with no violence (no mario).

I wish to be unpunished for joking about Mowinckel's spelling.

[goat]

Granted! Your unpunishment rebate will occur 3-5 weeks after your punishment.

I wish I could do things as I think of them.

[Geoff_B]

Granted. In fact you even speed up the process by not thinking about things before doing them.

I wish things cost less money

[JackSlack]

Granted. Now everything is sold out because it's more affordable.

I wish I was the ruler of the entire world.

[Duckay]

Wish granted. All the world's problems, stresses, crises... they're all on you, now. You become a neurotic mess from the stress of the job. You're wildly unpopular amongst your subjects, and within months, there's a threat to depose you. With extreme prejudice.

I wish my body was in perfect working order.

[Geoff_B]

Granted. Your body is in absolute, top condition, perfect working order. Your mind on the other hand is completely gaga.

I wish I hadn't just spilled a bit of mint and chilli sauce on my trousers.

[James Ether]

Granted, you spill it on your shirt.

I wish I hadn't eaten that McDonalds breakfast this morning.

[General Michi]

Granted, you had no breakfast.

I wish I could wake up earlier

[Fezzul]

Granted. You now wake up 10 minutes before you go to bed everyday.

I wish internet was easier to sort in New York.

[Dutch guy]

Granted, Its much easier to sort. But it will only connect to an obscure croatian Electro/House band fan-site that has not been updated since 1998.

I wish my ankle and leg would be fully restored already. I'm tired of it being this annoying.

[Geoff_B]

Granted, your ankle and leg are fully restored. Now every other bone in your body is broken.

I wish I could have a bacon and cheese sandwich.

[the amativeness]

Granted, but we were out of bread. And napkins. And clean water. Enjoy your greasy hands!

I wish for world hunger. No wait, not hunger. What's that other one? The "not-hunger" one?

[Gap Filler]

Granted. There's no food left. Anywhere. People resort to cannibalism. You are eaten alive by your nearest and dearest. Enjoy.

Time travel wish time! Take me to London, Ontario, November 2003.

[the amativeness]

NOT A WISH RESPONSE.

Granted. There's no food left. Anywhere. People resort to cannibalism. You are eaten alive by your nearest and dearest. Enjoy.

YAY! I have a "nearest and dearest" now? SWEET!

[Master Gunner]

Time travel wish time! Take me to London, Ontario, November 2003.

Granted, however while you travel through space and time to get to that location, you fail to take into account the difference in velocities between your present location and your destination in London, Ontario, November 2003. As such, you appear with a significant velocity relative to the city around you, and soon end up a gooey paste on the side of a nearby building.


I wish for The Amativeness to have being eaten by zombies instead of his nearest and dearest. It's just a more dignified way to go.

[dackwards d]

Granted. You were the zombie that did it, and The Amativeness gave you indigestion.

I wish my friend would get here already so I can get drunk and play retro games.

[Fezzul]

Granted. Your friend is now there. However, you spill all your beer on your Sega, thus you have no bevvies and no Sonics.

I wish I knew what I wanted from women.

[JackSlack]

Granted. Turns out you want them to be nine feet tall. Good luck with that.

I wish I could bring the dead back as horrible zombies that would be obedient to me and only me.

[Geoff_B]

Granted. You are now a necromancer. However someone has beaten you to it and there are no more dead left.

I wish I knew what women wanted from me

[Duckay]

Granted. It turns out that they want biologically implausible and morally questionable things... hope you have fun!

I wish that I would no longer not-so-secretly pine for Z-list comedians.

[Rubberbandninja]

Granted. You marry one, and your seven kids grow up just like him/her.

I wish pumpkin pie wasn't slimy.

[Gap Filler]

Granted. It's greasy and oily. Yum.

I wish to spoon a lathe.

[Dutch guy]

Granted, you take a metal spoon to a metal working lathe. The spoon gets caught in the 3-jaw chuck and is flung straight through your eyeball. This instant lobotomy leaves you in a vegetative state.

I wish this damn hovercraft engine hadn't sprung an untraceable oil leak.

[Jamfalcon]

Granted, but you hovercraft is now full of eels.

I wish I no need to sleep and could use all that extra time doing whatever I pleased.

[Geoff_B]

Granted, except that what used to please you no longer does so.

I wish it wasn't so early in the morning