Wish Corrupting Game

[Lorithad]

Granted. You now have an ice cream cone topped with sprinkles. The sprinkles contain Potassium benzoate. (thats bad).

I wish to thank you for your well thought out corruption.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted. An extremely polite thank you note was written out in a beautiful cursive script formed by the precise laying out of your still-attached entrails.

I wish the weather'd get better so I can go out for a run

[General Michi]

Granted, you will now be running away from lava with no water and no breaks.

I wish my food would cook faster.

[Drecon]

Okay. Your food now burns to a crisp within a single second.

I wish to win every magic tournament I ever enter.

[Jamfalcon]

Granted. Unfortunately, tournament officials quickly grow suspicious of your winning streak, and ban you from all tournaments on suspicion of cheating.

I wish I had more than an hour to prepare for my D&D game this morning.

[Mara Kalat]

Granted, it's now on the 7th of October... of the year 2417. You're not permitted to do anything except prepare for the game until then.

I wish I had more energy.

[Lorithad]

Granted. In the mail you recieve a jack in the box.

I wish my current anime would stop being boring.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Granted. It is now hideously racist instead.

I wish MCR were still together.

[Drecon]

Granted. Coincidentally, a new sequel to the human centipede comes out. (get it? together? I'm so evil)

I wish robots would take over the world!

[Gap Filler]

Granted. Bow before your robot overlords, puny human.

I wish I were hastily assembled rather than hastily cobbled together.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Granted. Your various body parts are assembled in the same room, but not actually put together. They spend the next half an hour sitting there awkwardly before your left elbow suggests that this meeting ain't happening and they should all go get a pizza. Unfortunately, when the takeaway guy arrives he suffers a heart attack and, after a rather messy court case, every one of your body parts is convicted of manslaughter and kept in separate cells.

I wish I could understand precisely why that answer was the first to pop into my head

[Ptangmatik]

Granted. I'll go fetch my cranial vivisection tools

I wish I could stop sneezing

[ex-Lurker]

Granted, you no longer have a nose or a mouth.

I wish for MORE POWER!

[Kortanios]

Granted, you are now ruler over a nation with lots of natural resources. The US decides you need some 'democratizing', kills you with a drone strike and the CIA establishes a new 'democratically elected' ruler.

I wish I could get amazing grades in my finals without studying.

[Gap Filler]

Granted. Start cheating. Don't get caught.

I wish that that place into which you fell was lined with a cushion of pain and is no proof of your continuing existence.

[Milo_Xaben]

Granted. There is no record, anywhere, of my continuing existence, and therefore, I will never know what can happen next if I time traveled.

I wish to have soundwave manipulation, soundwave force fields, soundwave flight, and be considered a mutant out of the Marvel universe (or a superhero)

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Granted. Rather than merely being considered one, you are now a mutant out of the Marvel Universe. You turn up for one strip before dying in a cliched death scene to give the protagonist a reason to go punch the bad guy. Most people think it's a bit rubbish and your character has no depth or purpose.

I wish I could think of things to wish for.

[Mowinckel]

Granted. But it is in a language with no written form, so you cannot ask it here.

I wish that I was 2 meters tall.

[Drecon]

No problem. The whole universe grows by a factor equal to 2 meters divided by your height. You are now 2 meters tall... at least, by our current standard of the meter.

I wish to live comfortably.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted. I have a padded cell fitted out just for you. Now hold still while I 'help' you put on this special jacket.

I wish my course was already over and I've passed

[plummeting_sloth]

Done. You've passed with flying colors. Your graduation and major requirements have changed so now the class was worth absolutely nothing and you don't remember a damn thing about it.

I wish lunch would be provided at work every day.

[Smeghead]

Done-so! Lunch is provided at work for free, but its mostly just horse-meat filled with strong animal tranquilizer.

I wish I hadn't made this wish

[the amativeness]

Don...

[My pseudonym is Ix]

(Since I presume that's your wish)

Granted. That's where your house was.

I wish I had a heap of metal studs ready and waiting.

[plummeting_sloth]

Your jagged metallic robot sex slaves are awaiting, master.

i wish this keyboard was more comfortable to type on.