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Granted! You are now having a manic episode, and in the next week you will gamble away your life savings, enter crippling debt, catch multiple STDs and wind up committed.

I wish I were not a self-hating psychology student.

Granted. You are now a self-hating liberal arts student.

I wish I could work from my bed.

granted. you have to work from you bed due to a crippling spinal injury rendering you unable to move from the neck down.

also you're meant to corrupt the wishes, not make them better. Self-hating liberal Arts Students are so much better than self-hating Psychology Students.

I wish I could draw better

Granted. You are now slightly better at pulling stuff.

I wish everything tasted purple.

Granted: you lose your sense of taste though.
OM Nom Nom Nom

I wish more people would check out Operation: Gender Bender

Granted more people do but they only have wii's so cant take part.


I wish i could start university again.

Granted: but due to the failing economy your will have to go deep into debt and your degree with have little value in the job market.

I wish my papers were done.

Granted, your papers on the relations between polar bears and the lesser spotted wood finch are done.

I wish I didn't need so much sleep to be rested.

Granted, you now need a steady supply of cocaine instead.

I wish the Great Old Ones would return to once again rule the earth.

Hell no. Wish denied! Not granted!

I wish for no thunderstorms in Minneapolis this weekend.

Granted. Minneapolis is now called Poopville.

I wish I had no skin because IT JUST WON'T STOP FUCKING ITCHING! WHY GOD! WHY!!!

Granted, you have no skin and die due to viral infections within hours.

I wish I wasn't so damned bored right now.

"Granted, you have no skin and die due to viral infections within hours."

I wish I could see in 4D.

Granted. The fourth dimension is Time. You can only see things by looking through mirrors. (slightly into the past)

I wish that I won the lottery's grand prize, legitimately, and that the government waived the taxes. Also, that no one tries to steal it from me, or kill me for it.

Granted, you won the monopoly lottery and now have 100,000,000 dollars of play money.

I wish that I dont stutter when I talk

Granted, you now have a terrible lisp, making you completely unintelligible.

I wish I could move and see in the 4th spatial dimension as well as the normal 3 spatial dimensions I'm currently living in.

Granted, you thun of a bith , now you can shee and travel in the fourph dimmenthin but you shoon go mad as your mind breakths from the strhess.

I wish that this lihsp was gone

Granted, its gone, but you lose your tongue in a freak boating accident.

I wish I could handle the stress of traveling in the fourth dimension. AHHH, Fourth dimension rabbits!! Their attacking me! HELP!

Granted, however as you are a 3 dimensional being you are missing a few sides, you're organs spill out as the forth dimensional people glance at you from a non-existent angle away.

I wish the Fallout Online beta site worked.

Granted! It correctly announces that the beta is now closed.

I wish I could leave on my vacation right now.

Granted! On your first day you get sunburned, food poisoning and are stung by a jelly fish.

I wish I had enough money for the X Box Slim

Granted, but now you only have enough money for the X box slim and no money for food, heat, running water, and electricity bills.

I wish that I could find a pencil

Granted: you find your pencil in your butt, what were you doing with it?

I wish more people would use "ph" instead of "f"

Phgranted, Phbut phph phis phat phthe phbegining phof phevery phword.

I wish I had signed up for the Fallout Online beta in time...

Granted: but your internet connection goes down every time you try to log in.

I wish Kathleen came to my house and cooked me lasagne