I do not feel this fleshy emotion of love.
It does not compute.
The Opposite Sex and Love
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AlexanderDitto
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Alja-Markir
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Dammit Alja, you're making me want to hunt you down in real life and ask you to stop sharing my views. 
So, I was gonna go on a long semi-rant about how love should and shouldn't be all that jazz but Alja nailed my views in one. Man, can't help but wonder what kinda history you've got for us to have such similar viewpoints on most things?
So, I was gonna go on a long semi-rant about how love should and shouldn't be all that jazz but Alja nailed my views in one. Man, can't help but wonder what kinda history you've got for us to have such similar viewpoints on most things?
Graham in a locked thread wrote:Think before you post.
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Alja-Markir
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I honestly can't answer this question.
I go for a girl who has qualities similar to mine, really. Looks are good, but if its a girl that would sit down, watch anime and/or play some street figther with me, its all good.
Also: Girls who play soccer and have ponytails.
High five jester!
I go for a girl who has qualities similar to mine, really. Looks are good, but if its a girl that would sit down, watch anime and/or play some street figther with me, its all good.
Also: Girls who play soccer and have ponytails.
High five jester!
i dont know what's happening anymore
Ok, having thought it over a little it's time to add stuff.
Love, it's a fascinating thing. I personally believed that I'd never fall in love due to having it constantly thrown back in my face as violently as you can imagine. However, then I met my girlfriend whom I've been going out for just over a year and I think I might actually understand it somewhat now.
Common interests are vital in a relationship I've found, and so is excellent communication because if they don't understand you - especially if you're quirky - then you're pretty much screwed.
Frankly though, my interpretation of love is just wanting them to be as happy as possible.
Thinking on it, while they may be similar my views are different from Aljas. Simply because the views on myself are much more detrimental. I take the stance - fuck self happiness, I draw all of my happiness from their joy, if they're smiling I'm smiling. I do everything I can to make my GF happy, which is sometimes fairly difficult due to the fact that she can be a fairly pessimistic person sometimes - but then again so can I.
We're both considerably twisted people when it comes right down to it, if people heard half of the crap we talk about they'd have far different views on us as people I imagine - to them we're pretty much a couple of cool nerdy people. (All though, my GF classifies me as a geek.) But regardless of how twisted we may or may not be, we still have A LOT in common and she understands me on a level that nobody else, not even my folks do. She knows things about me I've never told anybody, as I used to (and still do to a point) have serious trust issues.
Frankly, my gf has help heal me as a person. Before I met her, I had A LOT of issues but before I decided I was going to ask her out I decided to fix a lot of these issues so it didn't crash and burn like my last relationship did. So far, thing's are really working out well. (I still have issues 'course, but who doesn't?)
A common theme in past relationships though is just....people getting sick of me, which is something I'm still afraid of even now. I don't want her to get sick of me, simply because it'll mean my presense makes her unhappy. I'll accept it and be happy if she leaves me for another guy, but obviously I'd rather not this happen.
Truth be told though, what makes me attracted to people? I know plenty of absolutely gorgeous and beautiful people whom I don't feel the slightest bit attracted to, they're just friends to me and all ways will be.
Still on the physical side, the first thing I notice is: Eyes. The eyes of people say so much, or equally so little about them all at the same time. How they hold their face around said eyes, where they frequently look, how reflective their eyes are, the shadows they keep around them all these things....to me, I've learned to read what people are saying through how they hold themselves and the focal point is the eyes.
Emotionally, I need someone who has at least some depth to their personalities, things they they're projecting yet not and never do say. Of Course, things in common are all ways appreciated too - as I stated earlier.
Mentally, I'd like them to be at least relatively intelligent, honestly it's just frustrating to have to reexplain all my jokes over and over ect to someone who just doesn't understand. Finding someone who's equally or far wittyer than I is muchly a positive thing for me, simply because it keeps me on my toes and it's just good fun.
Sometimes people ask me "Do you and *name* have arguments?" I'm honestly not sure what to say to this. No, and yes. We have....well, we have discussions that escalate into arguments simply because...well, we find them fun at how ridiculous each others arguments sound. It's funny to argue when you both know how pointless, so many times have we just collapsed from laughter into each others arms from something we just both find fun.
Much like Alja has said, we both have our differences - especially out music tastes. She can't stand my stuff and I've heard her stuff too many times to like it anymore. (She likes 70\80's, I'm more a 90's\00's man myself) It's something we debate about on a regular basis actually....I have a tendency to loose or throw music knowledge at her that she doesn't understand so it's a draw 'cos using knowledge she doesn't understand isn't fair.
TL;DR:
Sense of humour
Eyes
Understanding
Depth
Willingness to put them first, all most all ways.
Trust.
Addendum: I could rant more, but I don't want to bore anyone any more than I all ready have.
Love, it's a fascinating thing. I personally believed that I'd never fall in love due to having it constantly thrown back in my face as violently as you can imagine. However, then I met my girlfriend whom I've been going out for just over a year and I think I might actually understand it somewhat now.
Common interests are vital in a relationship I've found, and so is excellent communication because if they don't understand you - especially if you're quirky - then you're pretty much screwed.
Frankly though, my interpretation of love is just wanting them to be as happy as possible.
Thinking on it, while they may be similar my views are different from Aljas. Simply because the views on myself are much more detrimental. I take the stance - fuck self happiness, I draw all of my happiness from their joy, if they're smiling I'm smiling. I do everything I can to make my GF happy, which is sometimes fairly difficult due to the fact that she can be a fairly pessimistic person sometimes - but then again so can I.
We're both considerably twisted people when it comes right down to it, if people heard half of the crap we talk about they'd have far different views on us as people I imagine - to them we're pretty much a couple of cool nerdy people. (All though, my GF classifies me as a geek.
) But regardless of how twisted we may or may not be, we still have A LOT in common and she understands me on a level that nobody else, not even my folks do. She knows things about me I've never told anybody, as I used to (and still do to a point) have serious trust issues.
Frankly, my gf has help heal me as a person. Before I met her, I had A LOT of issues but before I decided I was going to ask her out I decided to fix a lot of these issues so it didn't crash and burn like my last relationship did. So far, thing's are really working out well. (I still have issues 'course, but who doesn't?)
A common theme in past relationships though is just....people getting sick of me, which is something I'm still afraid of even now. I don't want her to get sick of me, simply because it'll mean my presense makes her unhappy. I'll accept it and be happy if she leaves me for another guy, but obviously I'd rather not this happen.
Truth be told though, what makes me attracted to people? I know plenty of absolutely gorgeous and beautiful people whom I don't feel the slightest bit attracted to, they're just friends to me and all ways will be.
Still on the physical side, the first thing I notice is: Eyes. The eyes of people say so much, or equally so little about them all at the same time. How they hold their face around said eyes, where they frequently look, how reflective their eyes are, the shadows they keep around them all these things....to me, I've learned to read what people are saying through how they hold themselves and the focal point is the eyes.
Emotionally, I need someone who has at least some depth to their personalities, things they they're projecting yet not and never do say. Of Course, things in common are all ways appreciated too - as I stated earlier.
Mentally, I'd like them to be at least relatively intelligent, honestly it's just frustrating to have to reexplain all my jokes over and over ect to someone who just doesn't understand. Finding someone who's equally or far wittyer than I is muchly a positive thing for me, simply because it keeps me on my toes and it's just good fun.
Sometimes people ask me "Do you and *name* have arguments?" I'm honestly not sure what to say to this. No, and yes. We have....well, we have discussions that escalate into arguments simply because...well, we find them fun at how ridiculous each others arguments sound. It's funny to argue when you both know how pointless, so many times have we just collapsed from laughter into each others arms from something we just both find fun.
Much like Alja has said, we both have our differences - especially out music tastes. She can't stand my stuff and I've heard her stuff too many times to like it anymore.
(She likes 70\80's, I'm more a 90's\00's man myself) It's something we debate about on a regular basis actually....I have a tendency to loose or throw music knowledge at her that she doesn't understand so it's a draw 'cos using knowledge she doesn't understand isn't fair.
TL;DR:
Sense of humour
Eyes
Understanding
Depth
Willingness to put them first, all most all ways.
Trust.
Addendum: I could rant more, but I don't want to bore anyone any more than I all ready have.
Graham in a locked thread wrote:Think before you post.
Wow, I commend you guys for being so open about your experiences.
I tend to be pretty shy and I don't like meeting new people, especially large groups (one reason I didn't say hi to anyone at the screening).
There is one line from a song in RENT that has stuck with me though, and that's "You can't love someone until you love yourself". I am realizing how true this is, so right now I am trying to learn to love myself. (This being a very difficult thing after going through a not so good experience and feeling completely worthless for 4 months (Just typing that almost made me cry)).
I also don't believe in going in search of love. People who go out looking for it won't find it. I figure two people with the same values and interests will follow similar paths, and those paths will cross.
I tend to be pretty shy and I don't like meeting new people, especially large groups (one reason I didn't say hi to anyone at the screening).
There is one line from a song in RENT that has stuck with me though, and that's "You can't love someone until you love yourself". I am realizing how true this is, so right now I am trying to learn to love myself. (This being a very difficult thing after going through a not so good experience and feeling completely worthless for 4 months (Just typing that almost made me cry)).
I also don't believe in going in search of love. People who go out looking for it won't find it. I figure two people with the same values and interests will follow similar paths, and those paths will cross.
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Cureless_Poison
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Cureless_Poison wrote:Tapir12 wrote:"You can't love someone until you love yourself"
Looks I won't be seeing any relationships for eternity.
Personally, I believe that to be not true. I hate myself in most ways and still I am sure I feel love and that she loves me. It's just....if you hate yourself, you need to learn to be someone different than that - or regulate your real self so you're not a huge bucket of crazy on them or a massive burden of depression for them to constantly be dealing with.
Self control balanced with the correct confidence is a fairly important thing.
Graham in a locked thread wrote:Think before you post.
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spartanhelmet
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$ ls -a /usr/bin/girlfriends
. ..
$ cp ' find / | grep girl ' /usr/bin/girlfriends
find: nothing found
... well, damn. AHH!!
sudo cp ...
This...
. ..
$ cp ' find / | grep girl ' /usr/bin/girlfriends
find: nothing found
... well, damn. AHH!!
sudo cp ...
SilentBobCDN wrote:And most (well, pretty close to all) of the women I've been attracted to have boyfriends already.
This...
Last edited by spartanhelmet on 17 Nov 2008, 01:49, edited 3 times in total.
"LRR för 4 av 5 toasts"
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SilentBobCDN
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So I was out for coffee with this girl, first time meeting, we're talking for about an hour and as we're leaving ( I thought things went decently enough), I asked if she would like to go out for dinner sometime. To which she replied that I would probably be a really good friend, and that she'd have to pass.
I don't understand women at all. And most (well, pretty close to all) of the women I've been attracted to have boyfriends already.
So... yeah. I'm sure there are women out there that would be attracted to me, but I dont know where they are, and I'd probably be too bloody shy to meet them.
I don't understand women at all. And most (well, pretty close to all) of the women I've been attracted to have boyfriends already.
So... yeah. I'm sure there are women out there that would be attracted to me, but I dont know where they are, and I'd probably be too bloody shy to meet them.
God it's a lonely world.
People just need to learn to understand each other, but I know so many people who don't even try to understand the other person - they just override the other persons opinions and emotions with their own.
I ask those people - do you hate everyone that much that you should deny them their opinions?
Is listening that hard?
SilentBob, I'm sorry it didn't work out but obviously she just decided that judging from your interests and hobbys she wouldn't be interested in pursuing a relationship with you - as she would expect it to fail eventually. Clearly she was one of those people who go into a relationship for the long haul. Frankly, somewhat of a rarity at least of the people I know.
People just need to learn to understand each other, but I know so many people who don't even try to understand the other person - they just override the other persons opinions and emotions with their own.
I ask those people - do you hate everyone that much that you should deny them their opinions?
Is listening that hard?
SilentBob, I'm sorry it didn't work out but obviously she just decided that judging from your interests and hobbys she wouldn't be interested in pursuing a relationship with you - as she would expect it to fail eventually. Clearly she was one of those people who go into a relationship for the long haul. Frankly, somewhat of a rarity at least of the people I know.
Graham in a locked thread wrote:Think before you post.
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SilentBobCDN
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Unlucky wrote:God it's a lonely world.
People just need to learn to understand each other, but I know so many people who don't even try to understand the other person - they just override the other persons opinions and emotions with their own.
I ask those people - do you hate everyone that much that you should deny them their opinions?
Is listening that hard?
SilentBob, I'm sorry it didn't work out but obviously she just decided that judging from your interests and hobbys she wouldn't be interested in pursuing a relationship with you - as she would expect it to fail eventually. Clearly she was one of those people who go into a relationship for the long haul. Frankly, somewhat of a rarity at least of the people I know.
I fail to see the reasoning behind asking me out to coffee in the first place then. This was through one of those online dating site things, and there was a bit of email communication back and forth. So, in my mind, its either a physical thing, or she decided to waste both of our times in a fruitless endeavor that she already knew the outcome of.
Maybe she was really lonely, and decided to give you a shot even if she figured it might work out? Basically, "Hrm I've seen what he's like online - what if he's totally different in real life? Might as well give it a shot I can all ways say sorry I'm not interested and there we go, no harm done!"
'Cept there was harm done obviously, there's all ways harm done. Messing with emotions is a cruel thing, especially in order just to benefit yourself from something.
'Cept there was harm done obviously, there's all ways harm done. Messing with emotions is a cruel thing, especially in order just to benefit yourself from something.
Graham in a locked thread wrote:Think before you post.
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SilentBobCDN
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SilentBobCDN wrote:I think im more depressed now... thanks
/woo 100 posts
Thread: "What's your slightly super power?"
Me: "The ability to make everyone around me depressed."
- A random thread I can't remember the title of.
Apologies, it wasn't my intention - I was just trying to get you to understand the most likely mindset she had, I know it's cruel but unfortunately there are cruel people out there.
Ask yourself this, would you really like to have gone out with someone who has that kind of mindset towards anyone? Especially you?
Edit: Congrats on 100 posts.
Graham in a locked thread wrote:Think before you post.
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Joystick Hero
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I'll have to say, while looks are a nice bonus in any relationship, what I really look for in a girl is one who is both fairly intelligent and has a similar sense of humor to mine. Mostly because I don't want to have to explain myself too much if I decide to talk about something 'smart', and I crack jokes far too often to be tolerated by someone who didn't find them funny.
I am also likely to find any girl who has talent at dance/rhythm games attractive, but that's entirely superficial. I think it's just my brain wanting an opportunity to combine women and my interests together into a single, sexy event.
I am also likely to find any girl who has talent at dance/rhythm games attractive, but that's entirely superficial. I think it's just my brain wanting an opportunity to combine women and my interests together into a single, sexy event.
I've been truly in love three times. I had brushes with it a few more. And I fell in lust countless times.
My first love was when I was seventeen and she was twenty. We lasted two years. She was bright, funny, loving and beautiful. Frankly I haven't a clue what she saw in me. My only thought is that I am a hopeful romantic. I don't hold back. I only know one way to love, full bore. She needed someone more mature than I however. Last I knew she married a pig farmer in Maine.
My second love was my first wife. We met when she was seventeen and I was twenty-two. She was (is) a comic geek, SF fan and a role-player. Pretty much everything I was as well. She was also lovely and had a wonderful build. She also had a number of very serious mental issues. We were off and on again until we married when I was 32. We lasted three years together as a married couple. I tried to 'fix" her problems and she wasn't able to really support another person in a relationship. I still care a great deal for my ex, we just couldn't stay married. In addition my ex eventually became transgender, which is something I can support but not want to be married too.
My last and current love is my wife. She is intelligent, funny, sympathetic, caring and attractive. A friend once said that she brings up my average. We are both rather bookish, love movies and enjoy spending time with each other. We support each other always. And like my first love, I haven't a clue why my wife puts up with me. I'm an asshat to live with. She is my best friend, my lover, my spouse and my goddess. I really don't want to live without her. We just celebrated our fourth anniversary 10/31.
My first love was when I was seventeen and she was twenty. We lasted two years. She was bright, funny, loving and beautiful. Frankly I haven't a clue what she saw in me. My only thought is that I am a hopeful romantic. I don't hold back. I only know one way to love, full bore. She needed someone more mature than I however. Last I knew she married a pig farmer in Maine.
My second love was my first wife. We met when she was seventeen and I was twenty-two. She was (is) a comic geek, SF fan and a role-player. Pretty much everything I was as well. She was also lovely and had a wonderful build. She also had a number of very serious mental issues. We were off and on again until we married when I was 32. We lasted three years together as a married couple. I tried to 'fix" her problems and she wasn't able to really support another person in a relationship. I still care a great deal for my ex, we just couldn't stay married. In addition my ex eventually became transgender, which is something I can support but not want to be married too.
My last and current love is my wife. She is intelligent, funny, sympathetic, caring and attractive. A friend once said that she brings up my average. We are both rather bookish, love movies and enjoy spending time with each other. We support each other always. And like my first love, I haven't a clue why my wife puts up with me. I'm an asshat to live with. She is my best friend, my lover, my spouse and my goddess. I really don't want to live without her. We just celebrated our fourth anniversary 10/31.
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Tetsubo
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Tetsubo
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Deviant Art: http://ironstaff.deviantart.com/
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/tetsubo57
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The Jester
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Another one of The Jester's essays, hurray! Wait, why's everyone suddenly fallen asleep? Ah well, never mind, I'll just keep talking anyway =P
When it comes to relationships, I think the importance of overlaping interests is a little over-rated. That's not to say that not having any interests in comon is better, but it's more about whether the other person is willing to be interested in the things you like, and vice versa. It's OK not to like all the same things, you just need to be willing to enjoy the other person's passions with them.
I might be going against what a lot of the people here are saying, but I do think attraction has a lot to do with a relationship. That's not just physical attraction, but personal attraction too. Friends are people you are immensely personally attracted to, and girl/boyfriends are the same, but with physical attraction in the mix too. A relationship based purely on physical attraction is dubiously fated, especially if you already know you don't get along hugely well.
I'm not saying that phisical attraction should be a major factor in begining a relationship, just that you shouldn't actively suppress any thoughts you might e having about the way that the other person looks. If you begin a relationship feeling like you have a responsibility to find them attractive because you like them as a person and they want a relationship with you, it's not really gonna work out.
Thereare a lot of different body types that I find attractive, and a lot that I'll not so much overlook but more see through if I find the rest of the person attractive, personality and all.
I believe I said in another topic somewhere that I think love is a state acheived by two people, that if it only goes one way it's only lust or infatuation or obsession or whatever. I'd like to extend that by saying love is about trust and security. It's where you trust the other person, perhaps not completely, but a lot more than most of the other people you know. It's also about knowing that they'll allways be there for you, as you will for them. It's about wanting to make them as happy as possible, and when you do something that you think they'll enjoy it won't be because you want something in return, but because you enjoy seeing them happy.
For me, the sexiest thing a girl could do is quote a line from the song Joyride by Roxette, and I'll tell you for why. The line is "Hello, you fool, I love you" and, to me at least, it means that the person saying it knows everything about you, all the stupid little things you do, all your faults, all your weaknesses, all the thoughts you wouldn't tell anybody else because you didn't trust them not to hold them against you, and knowing all that, they still love you regardless. That, for me, is the sexiest thing anybody could say or do.
I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm so sick of the "Let's just be friends" line that I never want to hear it again. For the longest time I had basically zero self-confidence. Then I made some new friends, people that like me for who I am and not just because I happened to be the least hostile towards them (that was in High School). My advice to those who have confidence problems? Find some new friends. Friends are supposed to accept you for who you are and make all the time you spend with them enjoyable, as you should for them. That's why they're called friends.
My main problem at the moment is that all my friends are away at Uni, so I have no-one to go out anywhere with. No way of meeting people. But, I've applied for a couple of jobs at Chester University's Library. If I get one of them, that particular problem'll be sorted
Masses of female students everywhere? At a stage in their lives where they're actively seeking out new experiences and are probably the most open to those alternative ideas that they'll ever be? Yes please
When it comes to relationships, I think the importance of overlaping interests is a little over-rated. That's not to say that not having any interests in comon is better, but it's more about whether the other person is willing to be interested in the things you like, and vice versa. It's OK not to like all the same things, you just need to be willing to enjoy the other person's passions with them.
I might be going against what a lot of the people here are saying, but I do think attraction has a lot to do with a relationship. That's not just physical attraction, but personal attraction too. Friends are people you are immensely personally attracted to, and girl/boyfriends are the same, but with physical attraction in the mix too. A relationship based purely on physical attraction is dubiously fated, especially if you already know you don't get along hugely well.
I'm not saying that phisical attraction should be a major factor in begining a relationship, just that you shouldn't actively suppress any thoughts you might e having about the way that the other person looks. If you begin a relationship feeling like you have a responsibility to find them attractive because you like them as a person and they want a relationship with you, it's not really gonna work out.
Thereare a lot of different body types that I find attractive, and a lot that I'll not so much overlook but more see through if I find the rest of the person attractive, personality and all.
I believe I said in another topic somewhere that I think love is a state acheived by two people, that if it only goes one way it's only lust or infatuation or obsession or whatever. I'd like to extend that by saying love is about trust and security. It's where you trust the other person, perhaps not completely, but a lot more than most of the other people you know. It's also about knowing that they'll allways be there for you, as you will for them. It's about wanting to make them as happy as possible, and when you do something that you think they'll enjoy it won't be because you want something in return, but because you enjoy seeing them happy.
For me, the sexiest thing a girl could do is quote a line from the song Joyride by Roxette, and I'll tell you for why. The line is "Hello, you fool, I love you" and, to me at least, it means that the person saying it knows everything about you, all the stupid little things you do, all your faults, all your weaknesses, all the thoughts you wouldn't tell anybody else because you didn't trust them not to hold them against you, and knowing all that, they still love you regardless. That, for me, is the sexiest thing anybody could say or do.
I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm so sick of the "Let's just be friends" line that I never want to hear it again. For the longest time I had basically zero self-confidence. Then I made some new friends, people that like me for who I am and not just because I happened to be the least hostile towards them (that was in High School). My advice to those who have confidence problems? Find some new friends. Friends are supposed to accept you for who you are and make all the time you spend with them enjoyable, as you should for them. That's why they're called friends.
My main problem at the moment is that all my friends are away at Uni, so I have no-one to go out anywhere with. No way of meeting people. But, I've applied for a couple of jobs at Chester University's Library. If I get one of them, that particular problem'll be sorted
Masses of female students everywhere? At a stage in their lives where they're actively seeking out new experiences and are probably the most open to those alternative ideas that they'll ever be? Yes please
Not particularly well equipped to address this but I've thought a lot about the confidence side of things, especially from a man's point of view. You tend to see a lot of 'oh they just go for jerks' or 'nice guys never win' and a lot of it is down to confidence matters. I think confidence is an essential thing in a relationship in that both people have to be secure in who they are. If you're not comfortable being yourself around people (or at least the person you wish to be in a relationship with) then people pick up on that and there's just no way you can be in a relationship if you're constantly checking yourself, because you can't enjoy being in that situation. Of my circle of friends the people who are in relationships are those most comfortable with being themselves and who hold back the least. The perfect relationship in my mind is one where you always enjoy being in the other person's company and you're totally comfortable being yourself and don't hold back.
That's why people with more confidence tend to be in relationships more, simply because they can enjoy being themselves without holding back. Confident people will show who they are immediately and to me that's what makes confidence attractive. But that doesn't mean shy people are doomed never to be in a relationship so long as at heart you're happy with who you are. I dislike several things about myself but none of them are to do with my own personality. I find it very difficult to be myself in large groups or with people I don't know and that obviously limits my chances to start relationships. But with my friends I'm perfectly happy with who I am and how I act so if I ever do enter a relationship it will be with someone from within that circle of friends who has seen me acting naturally.
To cut that down to advice, if you're shy it's probably going to be hard for you to start relationships just by meeting random people or going to large social gatherings because you can't allow you to be yourself. But what that means is you simply need to maximise the amount of time you spend doing things that are natural to you. That means taking up hobbies you enjoy, because then you're acting naturally. It means spending time with your friends because they already know who you are and that's how relationships are most likely to start. Try and maximise your time when you're one on one with people with no outside factors because if you're shy that's the time you'll be most like yourself. Eventually someone will notice how you are when you're acting naturally and be attracted to you.
That's why people with more confidence tend to be in relationships more, simply because they can enjoy being themselves without holding back. Confident people will show who they are immediately and to me that's what makes confidence attractive. But that doesn't mean shy people are doomed never to be in a relationship so long as at heart you're happy with who you are. I dislike several things about myself but none of them are to do with my own personality. I find it very difficult to be myself in large groups or with people I don't know and that obviously limits my chances to start relationships. But with my friends I'm perfectly happy with who I am and how I act so if I ever do enter a relationship it will be with someone from within that circle of friends who has seen me acting naturally.
To cut that down to advice, if you're shy it's probably going to be hard for you to start relationships just by meeting random people or going to large social gatherings because you can't allow you to be yourself. But what that means is you simply need to maximise the amount of time you spend doing things that are natural to you. That means taking up hobbies you enjoy, because then you're acting naturally. It means spending time with your friends because they already know who you are and that's how relationships are most likely to start. Try and maximise your time when you're one on one with people with no outside factors because if you're shy that's the time you'll be most like yourself. Eventually someone will notice how you are when you're acting naturally and be attracted to you.
Cureless_Poison wrote:Tapir12 wrote:"You can't love someone until you love yourself"
Looks I won't be seeing any relationships for eternity.
Being in a relationship and clocking 750 hours in g-mod are mutually exclusive events.
we sometimes catch a window, a glimpse of what's beyond
http://www.underaglassmoon.wordpress.com
http://www.underaglassmoon.wordpress.com
spartanhelmet wrote:SilentBobCDN wrote:And most (well, pretty close to all) of the women I've been attracted to have boyfriends already.
This...
Thats kinda the problem with getting older.... I used to think in highschool that people were being stupid by trying to get into relationships quickly and like it was some kinda race or something, but you know what... Im starting to feel that they had a point. Sure everyone says HS relationships are dumb, blah blah blah, but even if some don't work its still a chance and an opportunity & experience, because the older we seem to get the less there is in the dating pool, and a lot of the time us guys are having to pretty much compete with the standards set by all of the girls past boyfriends (isn't it statistically that most girls start dating in the range of 13~14ish? so you can imagine how many by the time your in your early/late 20s) making it harder, and sometimes near impossible I guess why so many are being given the friends line all the time.
...and if there is an opportunity it only seems to be like that 15-minute window right after the girl has just broken up with her current BF. Mabey im just being too bitter, but I did have probably the most perfect opportunity in HS (one that literally cannot happen nowadays) that anybody could ever ask for especially with the circumstances at the time, only to screw it up before it even started (you know "It could have been"). I dunno, it just seems that your chances plummet after you stop being a teenager.
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