The Opposite Sex and Love
- huddlehouseninja
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SilentBobCDN wrote:So I was out for coffee with this girl, first time meeting, we're talking for about an hour and as we're leaving ( I thought things went decently enough), I asked if she would like to go out for dinner sometime. To which she replied that I would probably be a really good friend, and that she'd have to pass.
It may not seem it, but you got lucky with that one. The alternative was that she wasn't straight with you, and went out with you just because you wanted it.
This, I think (I can't be sure, but I think) happened to me just recently. After one date, she started making herself very unavailable; after three dates (once a week), she said she'd like to "Remain friends", rather than actively go out as a couple. That was fair enough, but then I saw even less of her -- like, the next two weeks, I saw her once, for 10 minutes, by chance, whereas she seemed to be finding time for just about every other friend she had at some point in her weeks.
Admittedly I had over-invested emotions into it (It's ... something I really need to work on) but come on. You're a third year Undergraduate. You do not have as much "work" as you say you do. Just tell me you have a boyfriend -- yes, that friend, the one always coming up to see you -- so that I can move on.
(I didn't actually tell her that. I just broke it off altogether.)
Wraith wrote:WHY DOES THIS KEEP GETTING HARDER?!
- Alja-Markir
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Lavos wrote:I don't like make up. Like at all.
I agree, and I can't believe the words are coming out of my mouth, with Lavos.
Makeup is a problematic thing for me. I don't mind it for purposes of costumery, or for artistic expression such as in a play, but women who wear makeup regularly concern me. How creeped out would people be if they went around wearing masks all the time instead?
Makeup just seems like something designed for people who are insecure about themselves. They want to look "pretty" and whatnot, so they obscure themselves with chemicals and pastes in an effort to emulate societal ideals of beauty. They hide their own faces under what is essentially a mask.
Why can't they be happy with their own faces? I'm perfectly accepting of my own. No one goes around suggesting I should wear eyeliner to accentuate my features, or I should apply some rouge to complement my complexion. At least outside of costumery, that is.
huddlehouseninja wrote:What makes my love life really hard: Distance.
I know what you mean. I've been with my lass for three and a half years, but the past two and a half have been spent separated by three thousand plus miles as I attend college.
Two key things make it work for us. The first is constant trust and communication. We talk every single night over the phone. We chat during the day through AIM. We're always communicating openly and honestly, never hiding how we feel or pushing aside our fears or concerns. We lean back and forth, and love each other more and more because of it.
The second thing is that we prepared ahead of time for our being apart. I knew I would be going to school, and I knew I was going to be far away. We talked a long time beforehand about it. We laid all our cards on the table, explained exactly how we felt about each other, what we wanted, what might happen to us while apart, our fears and hopes and everything. And then when it was all out in the open, we agreed we'd do our best to stay with each other. If it proved impossible, we agreed to accept that happenstance. However, instead of failing and falling apart, we've only grown closer by being apart.
I see her every summer and winter break, and I live with her about a quarter of the year. It's not as much as we'd like, but it's enough, and I'm mostly done with school. We're both bearing with being apart because we both understand that going to school will be best for both of us in the long run.
~Alja~
Alja-Markir wrote:Lavos wrote:I don't like make up. Like at all.
I agree, and I can't believe the words are coming out of my mouth, with Lavos.
~Alja~
this is odd
i have dated and known alot of guys who say this, but i wear makeup, not every day but most. guys really don't notice unless it's really heavy.
- Nomadic
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I have had to wear MASSIVELY HEAVY makeup on several occasions for certain musical / theatrical performances I have done. Needless to say, I got a small taste of what wearing makeup was like, though in a concentrated dose.
Why do women subject themselves to this? I'll be perfectly honest, the stuff is nothing more than paste that you put on your face in order to hide the natural blemishes that give your face character. When I look at the cover of a magazine or an advertisement featuring a woman wearing some form of beauty product, I rarely mentally respond with the thought of "That is a beautiful woman." More often than not, my response is something along the lines of "That is a woman." Not "the" woman; "a" woman. Another featureless face in a crowd. There is nothing spectacular nor stunning about a woman who follows a trend and tries to look like everyone else.
To me, I see more life in a mannequin doll than in a woman wearing makeup.
In every woman who catches my eye and draws my attention, there is character in their face that is not covered up with makeup. Eyes that naturally glow amidst the sea of laughter and smiles that make up the small ridges and wrinkles of the face. I find irony in women who wear makeup to cover up the "signs of aging," since those little wrinkles and laugh lines tell a far greater story than your Louis Baton bag or Maybelline face.
In short, I prefer women who don't wear makeup because it allows me to see a true woman, not some vague figure of a woman.
Why do women subject themselves to this? I'll be perfectly honest, the stuff is nothing more than paste that you put on your face in order to hide the natural blemishes that give your face character. When I look at the cover of a magazine or an advertisement featuring a woman wearing some form of beauty product, I rarely mentally respond with the thought of "That is a beautiful woman." More often than not, my response is something along the lines of "That is a woman." Not "the" woman; "a" woman. Another featureless face in a crowd. There is nothing spectacular nor stunning about a woman who follows a trend and tries to look like everyone else.
To me, I see more life in a mannequin doll than in a woman wearing makeup.
In every woman who catches my eye and draws my attention, there is character in their face that is not covered up with makeup. Eyes that naturally glow amidst the sea of laughter and smiles that make up the small ridges and wrinkles of the face. I find irony in women who wear makeup to cover up the "signs of aging," since those little wrinkles and laugh lines tell a far greater story than your Louis Baton bag or Maybelline face.
In short, I prefer women who don't wear makeup because it allows me to see a true woman, not some vague figure of a woman.
Successfully lurking since 1709.
- Alja-Markir
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ok, here goes:
i like girls who're not afraid to be weird, not afraid to be women, and not afraid to open up. intelligence and a big smile are more important than all other features combined(possibly with the exception of a big 'ol booty ) i like girls who're cute when they're mad. i don't know why that is so important to me, but i have really come to realize that i love it. i abhor makeup, unless a girl is very creative with it and uses it artistically, rather than to look like a mannequin. i like pigtails, afro pom poms, and any girly hairstyle. i like short girls who're cute and adorable and tall girls who're fiery and feminine. i like a girl who'll stand up to me and give me shit if i'm being an asshole. i like girls who'll shit all over arguments i'm making and force me to properly back up my statements. i like girls who're passionate about sexuality and open to exploring it. i like girls who're unabashedly themselves and who will take risks at the drop of a hat.
wish me luck, for i may soon have her and i may also soon be a miserable wreck.
*fingers crossed*
i like girls who're not afraid to be weird, not afraid to be women, and not afraid to open up. intelligence and a big smile are more important than all other features combined(possibly with the exception of a big 'ol booty ) i like girls who're cute when they're mad. i don't know why that is so important to me, but i have really come to realize that i love it. i abhor makeup, unless a girl is very creative with it and uses it artistically, rather than to look like a mannequin. i like pigtails, afro pom poms, and any girly hairstyle. i like short girls who're cute and adorable and tall girls who're fiery and feminine. i like a girl who'll stand up to me and give me shit if i'm being an asshole. i like girls who'll shit all over arguments i'm making and force me to properly back up my statements. i like girls who're passionate about sexuality and open to exploring it. i like girls who're unabashedly themselves and who will take risks at the drop of a hat.
wish me luck, for i may soon have her and i may also soon be a miserable wreck.
*fingers crossed*
- Alja-Markir
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- TheRocket
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Personally, I LOVE makeup. I play with it, I am creative with it everyday. I don't use it because I feel I have to. I don't use it to cover up my wrinkles. I use it because I ADORE it. I love the colors, the styles, the expressions. I love how I can be a dominatrix one day, and a 50's pin up girl the next. Makeup to me is like clothing, I can wear it, change it, style it, play with it. I like it dark and bold, I like it bright and subtle. Being a girl is a blessing. I don't feel like I'm cheating by wearing a push up bra or covering my zits. Do you feel you're cheating by tweezing your eyebrows? By getting a nice haircut? I have no problem with people who want to look the best they can. I am a mother fucking SLOB somedays. (Reminder: SHAVE PITS SOMETIME THIS WEEK) I'm not embarrassed by my imperfections. I have stretch marks. So what?
I do not feel that all women NEED makeup. This is not what I'm saying. I am however defending the statements that girls who wear makeup are not "true women", or are "insecure". I am not insecure, and I am probally more woman than you can handle. I don't think those statements are very fair to girls who want to experiment and enjoy makeup. I have many friends who are makeup artists and that's a strong blow to a specific occupational field. I am not arguing the fact that one may PREFER a woman with no makeup, that is FINE. It's a personal preference and is totally acceptable. But to say that women who wear makeup are insecure and are fake is taking it a step further.
Also, Morgan, good luck buddy.
I do not feel that all women NEED makeup. This is not what I'm saying. I am however defending the statements that girls who wear makeup are not "true women", or are "insecure". I am not insecure, and I am probally more woman than you can handle. I don't think those statements are very fair to girls who want to experiment and enjoy makeup. I have many friends who are makeup artists and that's a strong blow to a specific occupational field. I am not arguing the fact that one may PREFER a woman with no makeup, that is FINE. It's a personal preference and is totally acceptable. But to say that women who wear makeup are insecure and are fake is taking it a step further.
Also, Morgan, good luck buddy.
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- Master Gunner
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Morgan wrote:stuff a couple posts up
That's pretty much exactly what I'm looking for too, except I'm more of a breast-guy (not majorly though, the head is still the most important), and I'm nowhere near to having...anybody........
Twitter | Click here to join the Desert Bus Community Chat.TheRocket wrote:Apparently the crotch area could not contain the badonkadonk area.
- Metcarfre
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Master Gunner wrote:the head is still the most important
Heh.
Allow me to wade in here. As a sort of preamble, allow me to note that I am 'in love' right now. I tell you this so that you understand any bias I may have in this discussion.
********************************
I'll start with a statement. Love is not something you find, or fall into, or make (well... maybe), or whatever. It simply is.
I read a lot of things here about how important sharing things in common is. True, but the things beings discussed here are the wrong ones. It's not your preferences, its your values.
Example; what do my girlfriend and I have in common? Nothing. I rock climb, mountaineer, hike, and play video games. She watches crap TV, 'fitness walks', redecorates, and does scrapbooking. I watch action movies and read political blogs. She watches girly movies of the "I'm rich, you're poor, but lets dance" variety, and reads gossip mags. There's so many things we disagree on I can't even list them all.
We have nothing in common in terms of our interests (well, maybe The Office), but our values are the same. We both want grad school and to use our brains in our work, travel the world working in poor countries, settle down, have kids. There's a plethora of everyday examples I could give you of how we're on the same page. That's what's important.
How do I know I'm in love? I know that I know. It's because she made me birthday cake in the shape of Legos. It's because she knows I hate mayo on sandwiches. It's because I bring flowers sometimes for no reason. It's because our car is named 'Beigeosaurus Rex'.
So, in conclusion, love simply is. Don't ruin it by trying to fit it into some matrix of 'interests', 'appearance', 'temperment', etc. It's not worth it and it doesn't work.
Cheers,
metcarfre
Last edited by Metcarfre on 18 Nov 2008, 21:26, edited 1 time in total.
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- Tim
- proudfoot
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metcarfre wrote:Allow me to wade in here.
[epicwin]stuff[/epicwin]
Cheers,
metcarfre
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Morgan wrote:stuff
Mostly this, but I'd say I'm more of a bewbs guy, although that doesn't mean they always need to be huge, smaller is fine. It depends on the person, really.
Make-up is gross if you can really clearly visibly see it, or if it gets on you while making out. And honestly most girls don't need it.
"Good thing we got Jester to carry." -Morgan, January 20th, 2009
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