Personal Acceptability [NSFW]

[Elomin Sha]

I'm really not a good person at telling jokes, and after my recent attempt in recent Hustle episode thread regarding Hakaryu and his issue with a miata proves that. He did find it funny in the end but I was wondering what is the edgiest joke you would accept or laugh at from someone?

[Nomadic]

Highlight below to see.
Guy 1: You know what I want to be when I grow up? Hitler. I'm going to kill me all the Jews and one clown.
Guy 2: Why a clown?
Guy 1: See? No one cares about the Jews.
Highlight above to see.


That's been told to me before. It's racist, downright disturbing, and rather crude. That being said, I did chuckle due to the delivery...and then immediately hated myself for it afterward.

[Yukikaze]

It's old. Heard it a million times.

Honestly, I haven't yet seen a joke that's considered too foul for my typical circle of friends. The only time someone objects to a joke is if it's been done to death and back already.

Conversational topics include mensturation and twenty-two-inch rubber penises.

[Elomin Sha]

Here Yukikaze, I've got one that you may not have heard before, it's to do with love. Another Jimmy Carr one, I rarely cringe or groan at a joke but I actually doubled over wishing I hadn't heard it.

"You know when you're dating a girl too young for you if you have to make the air plane noise to get her to open her mouth for you to put your cock in her mouth."

[Lyinginbedmon]

The crudest joke I've ever told involves three smiling corpses, and is the crudest because the second died during an orgasm.

[Yukikaze]

"You know when you're dating a girl too young for you if you have to make the air plane noise to get her to open her mouth for you to put your cock in her mouth."

That's like the man who came home and found his girlfriend packing her bags to leave.

"What's got you so upset?" he asked.

"I just found out today, you're a pedophile!"

"My," he said, "That's a big word for a twelve-year-old."

[Elomin Sha]

I think these types are the absolute limits for me. What about you Yukikaze?

[Metcarfre]

I'm a big fan of dead baby jokes in general.

[Graham]

Um... wow.

Some of these are a little over the line of acceptability for these forums, just FYI.

[Elomin Sha]

Sorry Graham, it was just my curiosity, lock this topic if you think this is unacceptable.

[Alja-Markir]

Lavos walks into a bar and ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| his massive ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| before |||||||||||||||||||ing ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Abraham Lincoln ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| cheese filled blendar (sic) |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| says, "The Aristocrats!"

CENSORED FOR YOUR SAFETY.

~Alja~

[Graham]

Oh, the Aristocrats.

Elomin Sha, I marked the thread NSFW, so we'll see how it plays out.
If it gets racist up in here, I'll lock it.

[Alja-Markir]

You know what? I need to find some way to fuse your and my avatars, Graham. Unless you'd care to film yourself dancing and flailing with a rifle to your head?

*wink wink, nudge nudge*

~Alja~

[Elomin Sha]

I think I should try and return this topic to some modicum of what it was intended for, I'll reiterate my question so it makes sense.

In your personal opinions what would you regard as the worst topic for a joke?
As certain jokes are frowned upon regarding some of the usual sterotypical jokes about races/genders and some are others are being allowed (previously jokes at the Monarchs were a slightly taboo subject in the UK until fairly recently when Spitting Image took a swipe at the Queen Mother); should jokes have restrictions to them or should all be allowed?

Hopefully that clears it up a little.

[Matt]

"old enough to pee is old enough for me."

aaaand I'm out.

-m

[Alja-Markir]

I'd think the worst possible topic for jokes would be evil for its own sake. The kind of people who torture and mutilate puppies for fun, who delight in causing pain and sowing hatred and grief everywhere they go.

Unless one takes "worst possible" to mean least funny without being abominable, in which case I'd say anything unintelligible or completely foreign to the listener. Sorta like that Sumerian joke from the Phailhaus, but even more of a just.... "Hnn?" reaction when you hear it.

~Alja~

[Matt]

"old enough to bleed - old enough to breed"

"if there's grass on the field, play ball... if not, play in the mud"

-m

[Daco]

"old enough to bleed - old enough to breed"

is it bad that i lol'd @ that
and Nomadic's racist joke?

[Nomadic]

"old enough to bleed - old enough to breed"

is it bad that i lol'd @ that
and Nomadic's racist joke?

No, you're just as messed up as the rest of us. XD

Taken from bash.org. Highlight below to read.
[DISCLAIMER: Has foul language and a very crude situation. Your own fault if you read it. XD]
<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
Highlight above to read.

[Graham]

I think it's mostly in the telling. It's all about delivery, after all.

I have heard racist jokes told in a way that makes them hilarious, because you know that the person making them doesn't mean it, and is just playing with stereotypes.

On the other hand, I know someone who makes me very uncomfortable when he tells "native jokes" because the way tells them is so... hurtful. It wouldn't be hard to imagine that he truly hates the people he is joking about. I don't think he does, per se... but he's telling the jokes for the purpose of offending those around, not for humour.

[Elomin Sha]

That's not really much along the lines of a joke. I'm sitting on the fence on that one, I don't find it funny that joy was taken out of making the mother feel horrible. On a certain level I don't mind the way he handled it, this is only said through personal experience of seeing kids being allowed to do what they want in a public place like they were in their own house.
I'm probably being too cruel in saying that a scare would be needed to show that control of kids is needed BUT I think the subject of HIV was a bit too harsh.

[Evil Jim]

I came up with this one during B-Fest. I can't even remember what the inspiration for it was anymore.

There's a reason "Lady" starts with the word "Lay."


Yeah, it's probably better in some sort of context.

[Yukikaze]

I think these types are the absolute limits for me. What about you Yukikaze?

It's about the limit of what I'm willing to say. Last night, I think a couple of my female co-workers tried to scare me off by discussing what kinds of vibrators they prefer. What really surprised me is the one I hadn't expected to have them owns three, the one I'd expect it from owns none!

Once I'd gotten over the surprise, I contributed to the conversation while finishing off my pizza. Some two or three years ago, I used to chat regularly with a bisexual atheist girl from Britain who was very open about her sex life. I've never been quite as family-friendly since then.

That's not really much along the lines of a joke. I'm sitting on the fence on that one, I don't find it funny that joy was taken out of making the mother feel horrible. On a certain level I don't mind the way he handled it, this is only said through personal experience of seeing kids being allowed to do what they want in a public place like they were in their own house.
I'm probably being too cruel in saying that a scare would be needed to show that control of kids is needed BUT I think the subject of HIV was a bit too harsh.

A kid that out of control needs to be reigned in, and if his mom lets him get away with it, she deserves the wake-up call she got. Civility and politeness are good things, but sometimes, they just won't get you anywhere. I'd say a stupid brat running around, biting people is one of those times.

As far as jokes and humor, there's very little that I think should be off-limits, but the audience should be taken into account. Don't go swearing up a storm if there are lots of Christian conservatives around, and if there are Libs or Europeans nearby, then avoiding topics like God and guns are a good plan unless you find humor in people taking offense.

Which I do.

[Tensen01]

Here's my favorite:

What do you calla Black guy Flying an Airplane?


















A Pilot, you racist!!!

[Elomin Sha]

A kid that out of control needs to be reigned in, and if his mom lets him get away with it, she deserves the wake-up call she got. Civility and politeness are good things, but sometimes, they just won't get you anywhere. I'd say a stupid brat running around, biting people is one of those times.

I do agree with you on that and have called out on it on occassion but others I keep quiet, I never understand why I can't stay vocalised to one side.