Page 1 of 2

Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 12:39
by Matt
Outbreak of zombie-ism in Cambodia

... yeah.

For the record, if the following paragraph doesn't send chills down your spine and conjure up images of T-virus labs and the creation of Tyrants, then you need to play more resident evil:

General Ary Serey wrote: "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."


And the famous warning that no one ever listens to in a horror movie:

Condoleeza Rice wrote:the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately.


article wrote:Cambodian officials have yet to comment.


...

We're all gonna die....

And then come back to eat eachother's brains.

-m

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 12:45
by iEatNinjaZ
I've got my shotgun, sucks to be the rest of you.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 12:50
by Hakaryu
Got my shotty and zombie plan.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 12:53
by Cherry
Crap, I left my 7-block by 11-block, aluminum briefcase in NotSpain.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 13:00
by Cureless_Poison
This story's from 2005...it's a little decomposed already.
Just have to work on getting some of those mosquito's in north america

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 13:09
by Dave-O_Boy
...interesting how nothing has been mentioned about this scene 2005. I wonder if they weaponized it yet.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 13:12
by danpete6
Dave-O_Boy wrote:...interesting how nothing has been mentioned about this scene 2005. I wonder if they weaponized it yet.


They will. In December 2012.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 13:22
by Matt
if this was a real story, I fully expect them to have lickers and tyrants by now.

-m

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 13:24
by danpete6
Matt wrote:if this was a real story, I fully expect them to have lickers and tyrants by now.

-m



don't forget crimson heads and -shudder- Cerberuses.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 13:47
by elitewalmartsecurity
We can only expect that they've been trying to destroy it, but have only been able to destroy it fast enough to suppress its spread. So eventually some intern is going to screw it up for all of us.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:04
by iamafish
*grabs cricket bat*

i'm ready if they come!

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:18
by goat
The dateline on the article wrote:Last Updated: Monday, 25 April, 2005, 17:00 GMT 18:00 UK


Emphasis added.

Sorry to ruin the party, but this shit has already passed.

Though this is a pretty good example of an interesting phenomenon. As knowledge and science proliferate to second and third-world countries, tribal magic and religious practices as well as rural myth are coming under public scrutiny. There's a good paper thesis in there somewhere.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:19
by Lyinginbedmon
#cracks knuckles#

Bring it.

Seriously though, I'm not sure if it's a gag article, because it is in April but the 25th.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:35
by Lord Chrusher
The dateline on the article wrote:Last Updated: Monday, 25 April, 2005, 17:00 GMT 18:00 UK


Emphasis added.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:44
by elitewalmartsecurity
I believe THIS is the article you're looking for, Matt.
http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:44
by Darkobra
Yeah, it can't be real. It's an incredible fantasy story that you can grasp at and try to find truth in but I'm also going to say it's a joke.

Still, imagine if it did happen. You plant your beloved in the ground... and just before the dirt is poured on to the coffin... WAAAAAAAAAH! NYAHAHAHAWAHAHA! WAH!

The European Commission has been calling it "novel flu", replacing the word "swine" to avoid prompting a fall in demand for pork and bacon.


I better not buy any fucking novels then...

Have you been affected by the zombie strain of swine flu? You can send your experiences using the form below. You can also send your questions about the decision to raise the alert and we will send it to our health experts.


Well I filled in the form.

"I recently fell victim to the zombie variation of the swine flu. It started when NYAHAHAHWAHAHAHA! BWAAAAAAAH!"

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:54
by elitewalmartsecurity
Darkobra wrote:
Have you been affected by the zombie strain of swine flu? You can send your experiences using the form below. You can also send your questions about the decision to raise the alert and we will send it to our health experts.


Well I filled in the form.

"I recently fell victim to the zombie variation of the swine flu. It started when NYAHAHAHWAHAHAHA! BWAAAAAAAH!"


Classic.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 14:55
by Bob The Magic Camel
I've been trying hard not to spoil the magic, but you learnt of the fakery on your own. I really didn't expect anyone to take it as real when I posted the link on the other thread. I thought it was quite a famous hoax.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 15:19
by Dave-O_Boy
If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.


"Please sow your own death shroud."

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 16:24
by Cureless_Poison
Penumbra 2 wrote:If you are experiencing and of the symptoms of infection please secure yourself to the nearest solid object and seal any doors to prevent others from interaction with you. At this time, you should proceed to take the emergency cyanide capsule you were administered upon entering this facility.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 19:54
by Brad
It was a real thing. Don't worry kids, I took care of it. Papa loves you.

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 20:37
by tak197
I love you too Papa.

In other news, the amount of stress i have been under the past few weeks is probably what is making me not get sick, as apparently it is an auto-immune disease.

But I don't know if i belive this all yet. Of course I have my katana by my bedside, but still...

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 20:49
by Nevrmore
The first time somebody compared the zombie apocalypse to a zombie apocalypse, it was unfunny...

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 06 May 2009, 23:35
by twolemundo
weird...i found "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" in a book store today. needless to say, it is on my list of stuff to read.

Image

could be some useful tips in there...

Re: Zombie Apocalypse = Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: 07 May 2009, 00:19
by Cade Antilles
*nervous laugh* heh, these had me going for a little bit. Whew. Well, I guess I'll go to bed now.