Altered Numbers

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TheBenjiNecessity
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Altered Numbers

Postby TheBenjiNecessity » 13 Dec 2009, 14:40

What if you changed all of the numbers mentioned in different movies to drastically different numbers for comedic effect.

For example:
"There can be only one... million highlanders!"
(highlander)

"The alignment of the planets takes place only once every five years."
(tombraider)
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DmitriW
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby DmitriW » 13 Dec 2009, 22:28

"ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE WATTS?! That's...next to nothing, actually."
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Mad Madam Mimm
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Mad Madam Mimm » 14 Dec 2009, 02:23

"The ultimate answer..."
"Yes?"
"To the question of life, the universe, and everything..."
"Yes?"
"Is..."
"Yes?"
"Is..."
"Yes?!"
"Two."
"..... What?"
"It's always two."
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Machalllewis
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Machalllewis » 14 Dec 2009, 02:27

Heard about that brand new film where the Spartans get proper backing and support for their efforts against the Persian army?

Three Hundred Thousand.
Nothing to see here.
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Gordon Fearman
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Gordon Fearman » 14 Dec 2009, 02:34

That would be the greatest movie ever!
"When I feel my friends have been conspiring against me, I break into their bedrooms and I write in their diaries."

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Vigafre
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Vigafre » 14 Dec 2009, 08:05

"Here's the plan: We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for...ONE dollar."

"Don't you think we should maybe ask for MORE than a dollar. A dollar isn't exactly a lot of money these days. VirtuCon alone makes over 90 dollars a year."

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm."

"It's not...Okay then. We hold the world ransom for...one HUNDRED dollars."

*shifty eyes*
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Machalllewis
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Machalllewis » 18 Dec 2009, 04:27

Hows about:-

"OMG! The Mayan calendar has an end date!"

"When is it?"

"Eh, no time soon"

COMING NEXT YEAR! Destruction gets taken to a new level in...

4012
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Emperor Gum
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Emperor Gum » 19 Dec 2009, 03:42

Ten Thousandths Of A League Under The Sea! (snorkling)
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Arius
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Arius » 26 Dec 2009, 22:20

"We only have thirty years to disarm this bomb."
H̼̮̖͓̻ͮ̀ͬ̓e̟̦͉̾̔̀ͣ͆̄ ͚̤̈̉ͦ̎ͭ̚c̰̠͚̜̹ͪ̐̎̃ͅo̗͌͛ͥ͑m̍ͬͥ̚e͍̱̲̤͚̹͔͛s͚̱̤͚̲̭̗̃̎ͭ̚.̘̫̖̮̠͒̔.̝̹̟̳͚̂̆̋͌̐̚.̬͓̰̃̑
rendelnep
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby rendelnep » 27 Dec 2009, 18:28

the Fantastic Four Hundred and sixty-seven. because that's what it seems like these days
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tamaness
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby tamaness » 28 Dec 2009, 17:40

"The three hundred thousand little piggies"
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ThrashJazzAssassin
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby ThrashJazzAssassin » 29 Dec 2009, 06:22

Machalllewis wrote:Heard about that brand new film where the Spartans get proper backing and support for their efforts against the Persian army?

Three Hundred Thousand.

I think 3 would be more amusing. Although if there were three hundred thousand, they could face off against The Magnificent Seven Hundred Thousand.
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iamafish
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby iamafish » 29 Dec 2009, 07:09

ThrashJazzAssassin wrote:
Machalllewis wrote:Heard about that brand new film where the Spartans get proper backing and support for their efforts against the Persian army?

Three Hundred Thousand.

I think 3 would be more amusing. Although if there were three hundred thousand, they could face off against The Magnificent Seven Hundred Thousand.


or the famous five hundred thousand
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ThrashJazzAssassin
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby ThrashJazzAssassin » 29 Dec 2009, 07:30

Yes!

And how about a Bible epic? The anticlimactic tale of how Jesus spent four nights in the desert before getting bored, the feeding of five really fat people with five thousand loaves and two thousand fish, and of course the infamous Ark which contained two hundred of every animal, and sank under the weight of their excrement.
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Vigafre » 29 Dec 2009, 08:06

And don't forget Moses' journey up Mt. Sinai to have the Ten Thousand Commandments bestowed upon him.
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ThrashJazzAssassin
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby ThrashJazzAssassin » 29 Dec 2009, 08:13

Ouch. Five thousand stone tablets. Or possibly just two huge ones. Either way, that's gotta hurt.

Also, why didn't I think of that?
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Theremin
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Theremin » 29 Dec 2009, 10:30

World War M

(M = 1000)
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Mad Madam Mimm
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Mad Madam Mimm » 29 Dec 2009, 10:36

Between "District Nine", Tim Burton's "9", and Rob Marshall's "Nine", one of those films definately has to change.
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Theremin
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Theremin » 29 Dec 2009, 10:45

Make a halloween mashup. Call it 666.
Or 999 if we're in a uniformed mood.
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Machalllewis
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby Machalllewis » 30 Dec 2009, 06:54

Julia Stiles takes honesty to a new level in "10,000 Things I Hate about You."

The final scene with the poem takes 30 minutes.

Also absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary in "The 14 Year Old Virgin"
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epocalypse
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby epocalypse » 06 Jan 2010, 14:39

The Matrix: Neo, instead of being the One, is the Three, and instead of being "Neo" is "Erhet". He is, mind you, still a single man played by Keanu.

Edit: Also, "1987: A Space Odyssey" and "Star Wars Episode I: A New Hope". You heard me.
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TomBrend
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby TomBrend » 06 Jan 2010, 20:43

OCEANS ELEVEN... HUNDRED.
1100 people try to pull off the ultimate heist, by stampeding everyone else.

50 First Dates becomes 1 First Date.
The same movie, but without the girl having memory issues. She thinks he's a douche and doesn't agree to a second date. Movie lasts 5 minutes. Audiences feel significantly less ripped off.

27 Dresses becomes 2 Dresses.
A girl is a bridesmaid then wants to get married. Movie lasts 5 minutes. Audiences feel slightly less ripped off than they did by 1 First Date.

And on the TV shows front, Rescue 411: reenactments of the exciting events of the phone company information line.
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epocalypse
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby epocalypse » 06 Jan 2010, 22:36

Deep Space 0.3
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davefp
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby davefp » 18 Jan 2010, 18:58

24 becomes... 8 years! Jack Bauer must find the leader of an international terrorist ring who bombed the United States in 2001. In real time. Topical!
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I X
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Re: Altered Numbers

Postby I X » 19 Jan 2010, 10:17

The Number 23 becomes The Number π or The Number 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288.

Jim Carrey discovers what maths textbooks have been trying to tell us for thousands of years...but apparently we weren't listening. It takes him 20 hours and a 400 sq.m chalkboard. The final 20 minutes consist entirely of Carrey reading out his approximation for pi. Again, audiences feel significantly less ripped off than they did when leaving the original.
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