I made a children's story book a few years ago entitled "The Adventures of Brad and Deb and the Creepy Bodhisatva Child Statue what Came to Life and was Creepy, but then Awesome."
It's a tale of friendship, special powers, ninja squirrels and ruling the world with an iron fist.
It'd be fun to make on film.
Creepy Bodhisatva Child
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Brad
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Full Text of "The Littlest Golem" (first print title)
Some say it was possessed with the spirit of a child,
Others that it had gained truth or the forces of the wild.
Others claim it never really lived. But they have no imaginations,
and are sad, sad excuses for Human beings. For shame.
1 (picture of littlest golem being embued with life energy)
The Golem did live though, but even surrounded by so many other creepy, horrible statues, it was alone.
More than anything in the world, the littlest golem wanted a friend.
2(picture of the lonliest little golem)
"Perhaps they will be my friends," thought the little golem, catching sight of two bewildered souls roaming the streets of tokyo one night.
3(picture of Little golem peeking around corner at sillouetted figures)
And they were. Deb and Brad could hardly contain their delight at meeting the littlest golem on that dark and moonlit street.
They played many special games together that night, like...
4(picture of surprised Brad shielding confused Deb)
Catch. Deb was very good at throwing, but the little golem could never catch the balls, which exploded when they hit him and made dents in the pavement.
5(picture of Deb summoning a ball of dark energy)
Brad showed the little golem how to play tag, and even let it be "it" first!
6(picture of Brad suckerpunching the golem)
He even invited his friends the squirrel ninjas along to play. The littlest golem was so happy!
For some reason though, they thought it was their turn to be "it."
7 (picture of golem with swelling eye surrounded by squirrel ninjas)
"Silly squirrel ninjas!" said the golem. They got so tuckered out playing the game improperly, that they fell right asleep when the little golem finally tagged them back.
Oh those squirrel ninjas! When will they learn to wait their turn?
8(picture of unconscious squirrel ninja)
But then Brad and Deb had to go.
9(picture of poof of smoke indicating speed, a fleeing leg, and the caption "Yoink!")
The littlest golem was sad at first, but then he thought, "I will miss them, but perhaps when I am grown up we will meet again and play new games!"
Then the littlest golem got very excited.
10(picture of little golem in sillouette looking out over tokyo skyline.
And do you know what? They did meet again when the little golem grew up. They played and played and played and played and their favorite game of all was called "Rule the world with an iron fist!"
The Biggest Golem was very good at that game.
(11) (picture of Brad and deb riding the shoulders of a large gate-guardian statue attacking a japanese castle: caption "Yay! Iron-fist!")
Also, all of the pictures have a piggy hidden somewhere in them. This is a bonus.
Some say it was possessed with the spirit of a child,
Others that it had gained truth or the forces of the wild.
Others claim it never really lived. But they have no imaginations,
and are sad, sad excuses for Human beings. For shame.
1 (picture of littlest golem being embued with life energy)
The Golem did live though, but even surrounded by so many other creepy, horrible statues, it was alone.
More than anything in the world, the littlest golem wanted a friend.
2(picture of the lonliest little golem)
"Perhaps they will be my friends," thought the little golem, catching sight of two bewildered souls roaming the streets of tokyo one night.
3(picture of Little golem peeking around corner at sillouetted figures)
And they were. Deb and Brad could hardly contain their delight at meeting the littlest golem on that dark and moonlit street.
They played many special games together that night, like...
4(picture of surprised Brad shielding confused Deb)
Catch. Deb was very good at throwing, but the little golem could never catch the balls, which exploded when they hit him and made dents in the pavement.
5(picture of Deb summoning a ball of dark energy)
Brad showed the little golem how to play tag, and even let it be "it" first!
6(picture of Brad suckerpunching the golem)
He even invited his friends the squirrel ninjas along to play. The littlest golem was so happy!
For some reason though, they thought it was their turn to be "it."
7 (picture of golem with swelling eye surrounded by squirrel ninjas)
"Silly squirrel ninjas!" said the golem. They got so tuckered out playing the game improperly, that they fell right asleep when the little golem finally tagged them back.
Oh those squirrel ninjas! When will they learn to wait their turn?
8(picture of unconscious squirrel ninja)
But then Brad and Deb had to go.
9(picture of poof of smoke indicating speed, a fleeing leg, and the caption "Yoink!")
The littlest golem was sad at first, but then he thought, "I will miss them, but perhaps when I am grown up we will meet again and play new games!"
Then the littlest golem got very excited.
10(picture of little golem in sillouette looking out over tokyo skyline.
And do you know what? They did meet again when the little golem grew up. They played and played and played and played and their favorite game of all was called "Rule the world with an iron fist!"
The Biggest Golem was very good at that game.
(11) (picture of Brad and deb riding the shoulders of a large gate-guardian statue attacking a japanese castle: caption "Yay! Iron-fist!")
Also, all of the pictures have a piggy hidden somewhere in them. This is a bonus.
Silly Brad, golems don't have friends, they just have words in their heads.
"I swear it," said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave."
"Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline.
"Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back."
"Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline.
"Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back."
Brad wrote:... I could. But I wouldn't. If it were, I would probably say he was made by an application of the Kabbalah.
But, that is being animated by secret Jew-magic. Just less offensively worded.
"...so he turns to me, and he says 'Why so serious?' He puts the blade in my mouth, and says 'Why so serious?
Let's put a smile on that face!'"
Let's put a smile on that face!'"
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NecroVale
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Melendwyr wrote:Brad wrote:... I could. But I wouldn't. If it were, I would probably say he was made by an application of the Kabbalah.
But, that is being animated by secret Jew-magic. Just less offensively worded.
How offensive it is varies. I have three Jewish friends and none of them find it offensive... of course two of them call themselves Dr. Jewhand, and NinJew, so I don't know if that counts completely...
NecroVale wrote:Melendwyr wrote:Brad wrote:... I could. But I wouldn't. If it were, I would probably say he was made by an application of the Kabbalah.
But, that is being animated by secret Jew-magic. Just less offensively worded.
How offensive it is varies. I have three Jewish friends and none of them find it offensive... of course two of them call themselves Dr. Jewhand, and NinJew, so I don't know if that counts completely...
NinJew? That is the best name I have ever heard!
And since I have not read enough Japanese mythology, I need to ask if they actually have golems in Japan. Do they have golems there? ANSWER ME, DAMNIT!
"I swear it," said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave."
"Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline.
"Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back."
"Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline.
"Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back."
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Brad
- Posts: 1563
- Joined: 06 Mar 2006, 17:32
- First Video: Dunno. First one I was in was Zombiewalk
- Location: Temporal Vortex
- Contact:
Yes.
The littlest golem story came out of Deb and I getting lost in tokyo and finding ourselves in a very creepy children's cemetary lined entirely in child-bodhisatva statues. They're about a foot tall, and people put warm weather clothing on them in the winter. Little toques and such, and most of them had pinwheels slowly turning in different directions.
There were thousands of them.
As for the biggest golem, the picture, which you can't see, was inspired by these monkami giant things. They aren't really called monkami, but I can't remember the exact term. It had mon in it, which means gate. Two of these things guarded the main gates to Zenkoji temple. They were each about 25 feet tall and basically made of muscle and armor. I've seen other versions of these gate guardians at other temples. Most had multiple heads and were assuming peaceful meditation positions. Zenkoji ones meant business, and their business was coming to life and crushing adversaries.
There is a legend at Zenkoji that if you can find the key in the darkness your spirit will be saved. I found it. Way under the temple in the catacombs (fucking cold). But I'm pretty sure there's a wee mistranslation and omision and the original was, "If you can find the key to the catacombs in the darkness when the gate guardians come to life and start ruling the world with an iron fist, you'll probably be saved for a while."
The littlest golem story came out of Deb and I getting lost in tokyo and finding ourselves in a very creepy children's cemetary lined entirely in child-bodhisatva statues. They're about a foot tall, and people put warm weather clothing on them in the winter. Little toques and such, and most of them had pinwheels slowly turning in different directions.
There were thousands of them.
As for the biggest golem, the picture, which you can't see, was inspired by these monkami giant things. They aren't really called monkami, but I can't remember the exact term. It had mon in it, which means gate. Two of these things guarded the main gates to Zenkoji temple. They were each about 25 feet tall and basically made of muscle and armor. I've seen other versions of these gate guardians at other temples. Most had multiple heads and were assuming peaceful meditation positions. Zenkoji ones meant business, and their business was coming to life and crushing adversaries.
There is a legend at Zenkoji that if you can find the key in the darkness your spirit will be saved. I found it. Way under the temple in the catacombs (fucking cold). But I'm pretty sure there's a wee mistranslation and omision and the original was, "If you can find the key to the catacombs in the darkness when the gate guardians come to life and start ruling the world with an iron fist, you'll probably be saved for a while."
Actually, it was more at the general conversation of it (see above), somehow it made me laugh.
~Mouse
~Mouse
-Holy kleenex, Batman, it was right under our noses the whole time!
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-Satan wears a bucket hat!
-If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
-Lewis has AIDS
-Meddle ye not with dragons, for ye are crunchy and good with ketchup
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