Revenge is a dish best cooked by the entire LRR forum.
Revenge is a dish best cooked by the entire LRR forum.
My neighbors are rednecks.
To help with that, for those of you who don't know, or for those of you who think you do, this means the following:
They don't bathe often.
They're racist, while still trying to act "black" with every opportunity.
They're stupid.
They're apathetic to the point of sociopathy.
They're more physically adept than I.
They're foul in every fucking way imaginable and I really want to drink their brain and eat their blood.
Help me get revenge on them for this, their latest offense.
I want some really creative, non-lethal, non-lasting-harm stuff. Something that can humiliate them and get them to back off. Feel free to get as oddball as you want.
To help with that, for those of you who don't know, or for those of you who think you do, this means the following:
They don't bathe often.
They're racist, while still trying to act "black" with every opportunity.
They're stupid.
They're apathetic to the point of sociopathy.
They're more physically adept than I.
They're foul in every fucking way imaginable and I really want to drink their brain and eat their blood.
Help me get revenge on them for this, their latest offense.
I want some really creative, non-lethal, non-lasting-harm stuff. Something that can humiliate them and get them to back off. Feel free to get as oddball as you want.
Frozengale wrote:You know you're on the internet when Masturbation is the first suggestion.
- Alex Steacy
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Refer them to some Scientologists.
Steal they're favourite sheep.
Eel in the letter box.
Put a decomposing dogfish into their house some how while they are out (those things smell bad).
Steal they're favourite sheep.
Eel in the letter box.
Put a decomposing dogfish into their house some how while they are out (those things smell bad).
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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- Lyinginbedmon
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Lyinginbedmon wrote:Make a youTube video inviting all their viewers to come to their house party.
In the same vein of this idea: Throw a party with all your minority friends and give them the wrong address, so everyone has to knock on the neighbor's door at least once. Be sure to remind your friends that this is a costume party, and to dress as hillbillys. When your friends finally make it to your house...turn up the gangsta rap.
-Holy kleenex, Batman, it was right under our noses the whole time!
-Satan wears a bucket hat!
-If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
-Lewis has AIDS
-Meddle ye not with dragons, for ye are crunchy and good with ketchup
-Satan wears a bucket hat!
-If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
-Lewis has AIDS
-Meddle ye not with dragons, for ye are crunchy and good with ketchup
- AmazingPjotrMan
- ...and all I got was this lousy rank.
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I have to say I know a lot of people like this (can anyone say pennsyltucky?) and they can be very annoying. However, not all people stereotyped as "rednecks" are like this. My godfather owns guns lives in the middle of nowhere and is a little rough around the edges, but he is one of the nicest people I have ever met.
I don't mean to defend your neighbors (for all i know they are terrible people) but I really hate stereotypes
I don't mean to defend your neighbors (for all i know they are terrible people) but I really hate stereotypes
Hello world, remember me? I'm the sad little fuck that you failed to see, who you should have recognized When you had the chance. Hello motherfuckers now its time to dance
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- Evil Jim
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Alex Steacy wrote:Move to Canada.
See, if you moved to Canada as Alex suggests you will be in a different temperate zone & therefore will be able to sneak over at night & freeze fresh fish to your neighbour's picture windows.
Arius wrote:People were just so awestruck by your awesomeness that they became catatonic.
ThrashJazzAssassin wrote:BURN HIM! BURN THE HERETIC! DEATH TO ALL WHO SCORN THE AWESOMENESS OF EVIL JIM!
- Tim
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Revenge is stupid.
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- Timelady
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Three words: Guerilla. Christmas. Decorating.
Seriously though, I feel your pain. The sweet little old ladies across the street moved out recently and now we've got a wonderful family over there that are apparently turning the place into a private garage or used car lot or something and rev loud engines all night, swear loudly at each other, and yell about VD on the cell phone. If your neighbors across the street with their house set back half an acre from the road can hear your private conversations, ur doin it rong.
Seriously though, I feel your pain. The sweet little old ladies across the street moved out recently and now we've got a wonderful family over there that are apparently turning the place into a private garage or used car lot or something and rev loud engines all night, swear loudly at each other, and yell about VD on the cell phone. If your neighbors across the street with their house set back half an acre from the road can hear your private conversations, ur doin it rong.
AmazingPjotrMan wrote:Bacon is not a chronological entity.
Annchan wrote:I also don't understand what they did wrong.
EVERYTHING.
They have, for the past eight years or so (in seperate generations of stupid, stupid,stupid children), made me and my family's lives living hells. Truly. Not a day goes by without them doing something to harass, vandalize, and/or fuck up our lives. Mine in particular, since I'm in the same school system as they are, and are a visible target.
The latest offense is tiny: gumming up my hair. Then there's the spitting in my face, the running over of christmas lawn ornaments, egging the houses.
Petty-sounding, I know, but it's the straw on the camel.
Damn, but I need to rethink my "no hitting girls under 10 years old" policy.
Frozengale wrote:You know you're on the internet when Masturbation is the first suggestion.
- Aztec Cowboy Mafia
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-Sign 'em up for all the mailing lists they can handle. Bonus points if you pick things you know they hate.
-Vaseline on the doorknobs. Sticky things like honey work too.
-A ton of rubber bands on the driveway. It's nearly impossible to sweep them up properly, so they'll have to take the time to pick them all up by hand.
-If they have any smallish, easily-replanted plants, go over there in the dead of night and replant them elsewhere. Alternately, about a cup of gasoline or propane sprinkled liberally around a plant's roots will kill it in a short while.
-A ton of ketchup packets under the wheels of their car.
-Tie one end of a length of rope to their doorknob, and the other end to a large water balloon or something similarly messy and fragile. Balance said thing on their gutter or roof above the door, so that when they open the door it'll fall and burst/break.
A word of warning, though: no kind of prank will get them to back off. If you pull anything on them, it will escalate. If you're okay with that, then go right ahead, and don't forget to post about it.
-Vaseline on the doorknobs. Sticky things like honey work too.
-A ton of rubber bands on the driveway. It's nearly impossible to sweep them up properly, so they'll have to take the time to pick them all up by hand.
-If they have any smallish, easily-replanted plants, go over there in the dead of night and replant them elsewhere. Alternately, about a cup of gasoline or propane sprinkled liberally around a plant's roots will kill it in a short while.
-A ton of ketchup packets under the wheels of their car.
-Tie one end of a length of rope to their doorknob, and the other end to a large water balloon or something similarly messy and fragile. Balance said thing on their gutter or roof above the door, so that when they open the door it'll fall and burst/break.
A word of warning, though: no kind of prank will get them to back off. If you pull anything on them, it will escalate. If you're okay with that, then go right ahead, and don't forget to post about it.
there are mad and beautiful things beneath the skin of the world we know
- AlexanderDitto
- Better Than the First Alexander
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Aztec Cowboy Mafia wrote:-If they have any smallish, easily-replanted plants, go over there in the dead of night and replant them elsewhere. Alternately, about a cup of gasoline or propane sprinkled liberally around a plant's roots will kill it in a short while.
Won't somebody please think of the plants! D: What did the azaleas ever do to you? D:<
Yeah, frankly, nothing you do will do anything more than just piss them off, which will only get them being more obnoxious to you. If they get too loud, call the cops on them for disturbing the peace, and explain that you can't get them to quiet down because they've physically assaulted you. Other than that... what can you do?
I have a neighbor (live in an apartment) who gets really drunk and bangs on his piano at strange hours of the night. Can't do much. My grandparents are the landlords, and they can't do much either. They've told him not to.
Another one of the many reasons I hate people!
- The Hitman
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Having just watched Life in the Undergrowth today, I think a funny prank would be to lay eggs inside their young, so when the eggs hatch your larvae eat their way out of the host bodies and burst, wriggling out of their skulls.
...
You're a parasitic wasp, right?
...
You're a parasitic wasp, right?
"Just another Sunday paddleboat ride on a man-made lake with another lady stranger; if I remain lost and die on a cross, at least i wasn't born in a manger."
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Zed Alpha wrote:Annchan wrote:I also don't understand what they did wrong.
EVERYTHING.
They have, for the past eight years or so (in seperate generations of stupid, stupid,stupid children), made me and my family's lives living hells. Truly. Not a day goes by without them doing something to harass, vandalize, and/or fuck up our lives. Mine in particular, since I'm in the same school system as they are, and are a visible target.
The latest offense is tiny: gumming up my hair. Then there's the spitting in my face, the running over of christmas lawn ornaments, egging the houses.
Petty-sounding, I know, but it's the straw on the camel.
Damn, but I need to rethink my "no hitting girls under 10 years old" policy.
Well, let's see. If they're doing things to vandalize your property, then a call to the cops is well in order as long as you can prove they did it. If they're doing things like spitting in your face, then a roll of pennies does wonders when concealed within a fist and some momentum behind it.
The second suggestion really isn't a good idea, but it is an idea. Vandalization does warrant a call to the police with some proof though. If they do it on a somewhat regular basis, then putting a camera in the window or something similar might be a good idea.
As you can see from my location, rednecks are fairly plentiful around me too. Typically, I get along with them pretty well. The occasional discussion of hunting, off-road vehicles and the like generally enhances their opinion of you.
Is it safe?
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