Altered Numbers

[TheBenjiNecessity]

What if you changed all of the numbers mentioned in different movies to drastically different numbers for comedic effect.

For example:
"There can be only one... million highlanders!"
(highlander)

"The alignment of the planets takes place only once every five years."
(tombraider)

[DmitriW]

"ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE WATTS?! That's...next to nothing, actually."

[Mad Madam Mimm]

"The ultimate answer..."
"Yes?"
"To the question of life, the universe, and everything..."
"Yes?"
"Is..."
"Yes?"
"Is..."
"Yes?!"
"Two."
"..... What?"
"It's always two."

[Machalllewis]

Heard about that brand new film where the Spartans get proper backing and support for their efforts against the Persian army?

Three Hundred Thousand.

[Gordon Fearman]

That would be the greatest movie ever!

[Vigafre]

"Here's the plan: We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for...ONE dollar."

"Don't you think we should maybe ask for MORE than a dollar. A dollar isn't exactly a lot of money these days. VirtuCon alone makes over 90 dollars a year."

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm."

"It's not...Okay then. We hold the world ransom for...one HUNDRED dollars."

*shifty eyes*

[Machalllewis]

Hows about:-

"OMG! The Mayan calendar has an end date!"

"When is it?"

"Eh, no time soon"

COMING NEXT YEAR! Destruction gets taken to a new level in...

4012

[Emperor Gum]

Ten Thousandths Of A League Under The Sea! (snorkling)

[Arius]

"We only have thirty years to disarm this bomb."

[rendelnep]

the Fantastic Four Hundred and sixty-seven. because that's what it seems like these days

[tamaness]

"The three hundred thousand little piggies"

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

Heard about that brand new film where the Spartans get proper backing and support for their efforts against the Persian army?

Three Hundred Thousand.

I think 3 would be more amusing. Although if there were three hundred thousand, they could face off against The Magnificent Seven Hundred Thousand.

[iamafish]

Heard about that brand new film where the Spartans get proper backing and support for their efforts against the Persian army?

Three Hundred Thousand.

I think 3 would be more amusing. Although if there were three hundred thousand, they could face off against The Magnificent Seven Hundred Thousand.

or the famous five hundred thousand

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

Yes!

And how about a Bible epic? The anticlimactic tale of how Jesus spent four nights in the desert before getting bored, the feeding of five really fat people with five thousand loaves and two thousand fish, and of course the infamous Ark which contained two hundred of every animal, and sank under the weight of their excrement.

[Vigafre]

And don't forget Moses' journey up Mt. Sinai to have the Ten Thousand Commandments bestowed upon him.

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

Ouch. Five thousand stone tablets. Or possibly just two huge ones. Either way, that's gotta hurt.

Also, why didn't I think of that?

[Theremin]

World War M

(M = 1000)

[Mad Madam Mimm]

Between "District Nine", Tim Burton's "9", and Rob Marshall's "Nine", one of those films definately has to change.

[Theremin]

Make a halloween mashup. Call it 666.
Or 999 if we're in a uniformed mood.

[Machalllewis]

Julia Stiles takes honesty to a new level in "10,000 Things I Hate about You."

The final scene with the poem takes 30 minutes.

Also absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary in "The 14 Year Old Virgin"

[epocalypse]

The Matrix: Neo, instead of being the One, is the Three, and instead of being "Neo" is "Erhet". He is, mind you, still a single man played by Keanu.

Edit: Also, "1987: A Space Odyssey" and "Star Wars Episode I: A New Hope". You heard me.

[TomBrend]

OCEANS ELEVEN... HUNDRED.
1100 people try to pull off the ultimate heist, by stampeding everyone else.

50 First Dates becomes 1 First Date.
The same movie, but without the girl having memory issues. She thinks he's a douche and doesn't agree to a second date. Movie lasts 5 minutes. Audiences feel significantly less ripped off.

27 Dresses becomes 2 Dresses.
A girl is a bridesmaid then wants to get married. Movie lasts 5 minutes. Audiences feel slightly less ripped off than they did by 1 First Date.

And on the TV shows front, Rescue 411: reenactments of the exciting events of the phone company information line.

[epocalypse]

Deep Space 0.3

[davefp]

24 becomes... 8 years! Jack Bauer must find the leader of an international terrorist ring who bombed the United States in 2001. In real time. Topical!

[I X]

The Number 23 becomes The Number π or The Number 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288.

Jim Carrey discovers what maths textbooks have been trying to tell us for thousands of years...but apparently we weren't listening. It takes him 20 hours and a 400 sq.m chalkboard. The final 20 minutes consist entirely of Carrey reading out his approximation for pi. Again, audiences feel significantly less ripped off than they did when leaving the original.