Desert Bus slash fic thread

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Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Trymantha » 25 Nov 2010, 03:01

For those who wernt watching at the time, Kroze and Ashton had a challange to see who could get more voters via a donation challange, Kroze won and as punnshiment Ashon had to kiss Kroze and dance for him.

And thus the slashfic is born.

ill post my two that were read out by matt.

It had been a long nite of ferocious back and forth bidding in the chat room , Kroze was trying to keep a head of the bids and help the Lrr crew helping the crew.
<+Kroze>Going twice $1010
<+AshtonC> goingtwice$1010

Kroze looked over to where Ashton was sitting .Ashton was typing so hard there was a sweet forming above his brow, he looked up and their eyes meet across the room and a unspoken conversation went between them. Challenge accepted.

<+Kroze>Sold $1010(come on try it)
<+AshtonC> Sold$1010(above kroze get?)

Kroze gave a triumphant cry, he had posted first. Ashton shot a glare at the celebrating Kroze, the game was on. Auction time was drawing near with Ken ”value added ” Stacy calling in soon.

An hour passed by they were setting up for some auction madness lots of auction in a row this was it, this was the final round. The first lot went up

<+AshtonC>Goingonce $450 (come on i can do this)
<+Kroze> Goingonce $45 (Dont even try it)

<+AshtonC>GoingTwice $450 (once again?)
<+Kroze> GoingTwice $450(you just got lucky punk)

<+AshtonC>Sold $450 (Twice in a row FTW)
<+Kroze> Sold $450 (break the streak)

The first lot had passed Ashton had won all three. Kroze snapped out of his trance and glanced over to where Ashton had set up, Ashton had a smile on his face, Kroze caught himself thinking about how cute Ashton actually was, “NO” he thought to himself he is my enemy i must defeat him. And the Auctions went on not mattering what they typed just who was first.





They were halfway through the Auctions now it was Ashton’s time to take a break, he leaned back on his chair and exhaled loudly, Kroze was giving him a run for his money and he had nothing but respect for him.







When all was said and done Kroze had just edged out Ashton by one. Ashton got out of his seat and went over to the couch that Kroze was sitting on and flopped down beside him. Kroze raised his head and put his arm around the shoulder of his fallen foe and came to the realization the he Ashton was his friend not foe. Ashton was the first to break the silence, “that was a great battle, good job dude”. “Thanks man, you were no push over”, came the response as he shuffled closer, their eyes met and they became lost in each other. They lost track of what else what going in the moonbase, Kroze slowly broke eye contact and lowered head to Ashton’s shoulder and slowly closed his eyes. Ashton sensing what was happen turn his head to give him a small light kiss on the top of the head. Once he was sure that Kroze was asleep he picked him up and carried him of where to, he wasn’t sure. When walking out of the door Kroze opened his eyes with a smile on his face, before he could say anything Ashton whispered to him “Don’t worry daddy is here”.
Ok, for the record im a Guy

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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Trymantha » 25 Nov 2010, 03:05

After walking out of the door holding Kroze, Ashton came to the startling realization that it was snowing out side. Kroze fully awake now snuggled closer to Ashton’s rippled chest, though it didn’t wamr him it made him fell more secure.
Ashton walk over to his car and fumbled around trying unlock the door, it was hard while cradding Kroze. He placed Kroze in the front seat then walked around and hoped in the car. Kroze instantly leaned over and kiss Ashton on the check. “Come on Kroze, we can have fun once we get back to my hotel room”, said Ashton as he started up the car, “I can’t drive the car with us steaming it up”.

On the drive Kroze wanted to get to know his new love, “So I have been looking at moving up this way for a while i think i have found a suitable excuse”, all Ashton could do at this revelation was smile as he could not find the words that described his happiness. The Drive continued as the two happy lovers got to know each other.

They pulled up to Ashton’s Hotel, Kroze was about to get up when Ashton stopped him, “Come on baby we are doing this the proper way im carrying you over the threshold” . As they were entering the hotel the lady behind the counter gave them a slight look, blushed and then hastily looked down trying to hid her happiness, she had been watching the stream an there love.

Kroze opened the door to the room still in the well muscled arms of Ashton, and they walked through. Kroze jumped out of his arms with a flash of regret, Ashton instantly pushed him on to the bed, Kroze fell on his back his arms spread like he was about to be arrested, Ashton climbed on top of Kroze slowly once they were seeing eye to only Centimetres apart both breathing heavily, after what could have been a few seconds or a life time Kroze turned the tables by flipping Ashton over on to his back reversing positions and said, “”Mine turn, Daddys got you” while pressing his lips onto ashton.


I cut the line that Matt cut in desertbus.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Iqy » 25 Nov 2010, 03:10

I might as well come clean. It was me who sent in that unbelivably long, unbelievably badly written LRR/8-bit Theater/Megaman anime crossover. If you want to read the whole thing in its unedited glory, it was originally posted here by a boy who is now banned basically for being a terrible writer. You'll notice the story doesn't actually involve Ashton or Kroze or Loading Ready Run in any way. I searched and replaced a couple of names to make it look interesting. Cheap? Probably. But I just couldn't let this legendary piece of writing go unread on the air. :)
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby EnglishMQ » 25 Nov 2010, 03:12

I'm already getting the one I wrote as I'm not optimistic it'll be read:

Kroze looked Ashton. Ashton looked back. It was just a game they played. Beating the other. It didn't matter at what. They just needed to be better. It was a rivalry. An obsession. They looked at each other and saw a man they could never stand to find themselves underneath. But longer to be on top of.

"So, how are things Kroze." Ashton remarked.

"Oh, you know, just wondering how I could totally make you my bitch if I wanted to." Kroze chuckeled.

Inside, Ashton gasped. Outside, Ashton was the personification of calm. He wouldn't back down. This was yet another battle to struggle through. Another battle he refused to loose. And one he would take to any level to win.

"Really, lets see."

Ashton thrust out his hands, grasping Kroze's head and pulling him into him. There lips interlocked and Ashton forced his tongue in, bringing with it a passion and determinaton. To overwhelm him. To force all his passion upon him and find himself the winner of this battle. He would be the winner here. Kroze would bow before him.

But Kroze refused to back down. He battled back. He slowly tilted his head, finding a passion within him ne never knew. Chanelling a slow burning energy, twisting his tongue around Ashtons, bringing his hands to Ashtons face, gripping the smooth face. Pulling this wonderul man closer to him. Bringing the energy within them to a peak, almost ready to explode, like their passion was to great to be contained in the body of any man, even demi-Gods like themselves.

After what felt like an enternity they pulled back and looked deeply into each other eyes. They smiled.

"Well, I'd say we tied in that one." Ashton remarked.

"Not good enough. I need to win." Kroze declared.

"Than I guess we better just have hot sexy love time than to decide a winner." Ashton suggested.

"O.K, but to make sure you don't cheat, we better have the chat decide." Kroze said.

And also one I wrote before I realised it was just Ashton and Kroze:

From some strange fluke of luck, James found himself standing next to Jer, alone. They had only each other to look at, to think of and to focus on. And to let their minds run wild with crazy idea's, the other man, the focus of their wild fantasies.
James was first to speak, an eager curiosity in his voice, the situation, new, maybe scary, but with a great excitement:

"Jer, I need to say something." James said.

"Yeah James, I have something to say to." Jer said

"About how we both look alike?" James commented.

"Yeah, people keep saying that, but haven't they noticed. Your hair is different. And your more clean shaven." Jer noted.

"And I have a bigger bus." James said.

"What! Your bus is bigger?" Jer remarked, startled.

"Well, I don't have a point of comparison, but trust me, my bus is pretty damn big."

"But how can you know? My bus, well, I don't want to brag or anything."

The situation was at a stalemate. Both looked at each other now with a determination. For in that competatitive, they were no longer friends. They were men warring men. The pride of their busses were at stake.
As if sharing the same mind, they tossed aside their clothes. Their busses lay before them. Jer looked out in awe. James returned the admiration as the sight of the great hus, raging infront of them. But more than just the mass of bus. The epic desert mass that seemed to bring with it an atmosphere of awe. Like an entire world was before them, a world of pleasure and woder. And the pig of truly impressive proportions.

"We really are the same?" James whispered, fear nearly choking back his words.

"You're right James. Our busses. Our deserts. Our pigs."

"Even the ban hammer." Jer noticed.

"Even the same distinct chip on the handle, and battered end from all the hammering." James noted.

"I guess it must be hammer time for you a lot." Jer said with a laugh, trying to relieve the tension slowly building from the rather big situation.

"And I'm guessing you as well." James said.

They looked at each other for a few more seconds. They truly were more similar than they could even believe. It was like looking in a mirror. An epic mirror, brandishing a advancing bus, showing off a vast desert mass stretching on for so many many miles, and armed with a ban hammer that could leave a user unable to post confortably for so many days. And a pig of course, but really, the pig weren't that impressive. James new this very well.

"Well, nice to have that comparison" James said as he put his clothes back on.

"You going?" Jer asked.

"Yeah, I need to have hot sexy love with Kroze and Ashton."

The End.... or is it...?
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby SW15243 » 25 Nov 2010, 03:18

I wrote three. Two were read, one wasn't. Two are good, one is horrible. Incidentally, I'm SDWatmough on the chat.

100% SFW Kroze x Ashton Slashfic. Yes I'm sorry (The first one read of the night)

Kroze relished in his victory, safe in the knowledge that he had six more fans than his opponent. Clutching his banhammer tight to his chest, he waltzed smugly over to Ashton, who was busy doing actual work.

“So, Ashton, anything you have to say to me?”

Ashton looked up from his actual work, “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know some congratulations, ‘what a nice banhammer you have, Kroze’, ‘I like your hair today, Kroze’, something like that.”

Ashton blushed, looking away with a shy little bat of his eyelids, “I do like your hair today, Kroze.”

That gave Kroze pause, “Ashton, that kiss back there...”

“Stop, Kroze. Don’t say anything else.”

“Oh Ashton.”


Tally grimaced, putting an obvious pause in the story.

“What is it?” Asked James from his giant bus driving chair.

“Well, the story gets sort of...graphic.” Tally murmured, scrolling through the rest of the extensive, dozen page chronicle of smut, “ really graphic.”

“This is Desert Bus After Dark!” Insisted Morgan from the couch, “How bad is it?”

Tally scrunched her face further, “I’m not sure it gets dark enough for this to be read on the internet.” She turned her computer monitor to let everyone else see. James started to read.

“Well this doesn’t seem so ba – whoa! What the bus?! Is that even possible in real life?”

Kroze stared on in abject horror.

And everyone was horrified for the rest of forever.


(The one that sounded like a Top 10 list with all the euphemisms. This one is AWFUL. I cannot stress this enough.)

Kroze strode with determination to Ashton’s desk, where he sat typing away in shame, having crashed the bus earlier in the night.

“Sup Crashton?” Declared Kroze smugly.

Ashton sighed, “What do you want, Kroze? I’m busy doing your job.”

“Listen,” Kroze replied, doing his best to sound smooth; leaning on the desk, but leaning over far too much and just looking silly, “We’ve got to stop doing this to each other.”

Ashton paused in his typing, still looking at the screen, but not doing anything, “Doing what?”

“You and me. All this slash fiction? I gots to get my groove on.”

Ashton looked wholly uncomfortable, “If I do this, will you leave me alone?”

Silent, wordlessly, they stood up and walked out of the view of the camera.

Kroze rode Ashton’s long hard Desert Bus

Kroze banhammered Ashton for hours

They borked

They were like pigs

They flailed more than an angry Octopimp whilst Octopimping

Warhamsters were involved. 40 000 of them. I’d rather not say how

They played with their Wiis

It was on like a noncopyrighted giant ape

It was Magic (The Gathering)

Kroze showed Ashton his magic pocket

They each took 40 points of butt damage

What I'm trying to say is they had sex.

The Unread One

“Okay,” Murmured Matt, glancing over the set of fresh challenges set before him, “So, there’s a – wow, there’s a $400 challenge here for us to play ‘Let’s Get it On’ by Marvin Gaye over and over for the next two hours.”

James looked over, “Do they – do they want us to sing it?”

Matt scanned the description listed, “Uh, actually, they’ve specifically asked us not to sing it. They just want it on repeat. For two hours.”

“I think we might go insane if we do that.” Quipped Alex.

“Yeah, who would submit a challenge like that?” Added James.

Kroze squirmed uncomfortably on the couch behind the group, “Oh, come on, guys, it doesn’t sound so bad. And it’s for the children, right? It’ll be over before we know it.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, “I don’t even like that song.” He called to the crew from offscreen.

Kroze shook his head, “Oh, well, then maybe we shouldn’t.”

“Nah,” sighed Matt, clicking ‘accept’ and going to Youtube, “It’s $400, and it’s for the children. Maybe we can turn it way, way down in an hour.”

The opening guitar sprang to life. James, laughing, stood up briefly to turn down the camera light. The mood light.

I’ve been really trying....

Kroze turned beet red; thank goodness the chat couldn’t see the color of his face with the lights down from that distance. He stood and quickly walked away. Walked to Ashton.


He looked up from his work, startled, “Kroze?”

“Look, I know it probably didn’t mean anything to you, and it’s probably stupid for me to ask,” Kroze was talking fast now, the words flowing out of his lips in droves, “That kiss was amazing, and I know that we’ve been fighting these couple days on the chat, but it’s only because I haven’t found the way to talk to you in real life. I was just – that is, do you maybe wanna...”

Ashton smiled knowingly. He stood, taking Kroze’s soft, supple, childlike hand in his. He had to bend at the waist to grab it, “Come on, Kroze.” He whispered, “It’s for the children.”

“This song sucks!” Yelled James from the other room, “It hasn’t even gone through twice yet. This is the worst thing ever!”

“It’s for the children!” Announced Kroze insistently at the room, “And you already accepted!”

“Why do you care?” Yelled Alex in between sips of his fourteenth club soda. Tonight, “Why does anybody care? This is awful.” He glanced down at the Club clenched in his fist, “This is awful.”

Ashton smiled knowingly-er, leaning down to put his pouty lips right to Kroze’s ear, “I care.”

They walked upstairs to the now mostly vacated prize office.

It felt so right, and it was the best Desert Bus ever.

Last edited by SW15243 on 25 Nov 2010, 03:34, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Bryy M. Miller » 25 Nov 2010, 03:19

Kroze was riding atop his mighty Pterodactyl, The Almighty Faz, one day. It was sunny out. The Almight Faz knew Kroze would not like their destination, since Kroze was going to get hurt in the bum by Ashton upon arrival, since The Almighty Faz was both telepathic and clarivoyant. So The Almighty Faz knew what would happen in the future. This is what that word means. But Kroze was also clarivoyant, so he was ready for Ashton's backwards assault.

Faz landed on Bespin, the Cloud City, where Kroze was greeted by Ashton, the leader of Bespin, the Cloud City. Ashton was escorted by his royal guards, the cast of Glee. Kroze was nervous. He did not want his bum to be violated. Like, seriously guys. You have no idea how much Kroze didn't want it in him.

After Kroze had bested the cast of Glee in combat, he made his grand escape from Bespin. But he stopped when he witness a sight in helpless horror: Ashton was chasing him, completely naked, and his thingy was not a wing-wang, but it was CTHULHU. Kroze was even more scared, since he was not only being chased by a naked dude that wanted to make his insides bleed blood, but this guys.... organ.... was frickin' Cthulhu. Was this a dream? What was going on? ow did it come to this? I mean, all he wanted to do was ride on his pet, Faz. Dinosaurs were pretty rad. But here was this obviously mental dude, chasing him with homoerotic-Lovecraftian intentions. How do you reconcile that in your brain? Maybe that was the point, maybe he wasn't supposed to "get" it. It was all very Vonneguttian. Or, you know, Kilgore Troutian.

This was really strange, guys. Is. I dunno. We're way past tense at this point.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Duckbro » 25 Nov 2010, 03:21

Of Kroze and Crashton

By Duckbro

(Woo writing a night before christmas parody after an 8 hour work day! This was a good idea (/sarcasm))

T'was the 5th night of Desert Bus and all throughout moon base, many people were sobbing, because of the bus crashing craze. Yes Ashton crashed the bus, t'was a horrible sight, but Kroze rubbed his back and said “It's alright”. They were once at war, over whom was best. But Kroze won by 6? Surely you jest! In the end Matt revolted over Ashtons fatal crash, and he ripped off his shirt which revealed his rash. But that's not important cause Ashton was sad, and Kroze began thinking of thoughts oh so bad. He poured beer after beer down Ashtons tender throat, until his stomach so sickly began to bloat. Quite drunk Ashton was by the end of the night, that him driving anywhere was truly a fright. Kroze dragged his drunken friend to a secluded room, and he played some music to set the mood. 45 minutes later and the deed was done, Kroze passed out next to his friend of great inebriation. The next morning was strange and Asthon was pissed, cause he thought all they did was dance and kiss. But the truth is quite sad and Kroze was quite proud, and he said with a grin “ready for another round?” Ashton thought for a moment about what he would do, and said that he would like to remember this screw. T'was the day after Desert Bus and the cast was quite shocked, cause Ashton and Kroze were rubbing each other's (BLOCKED)!!!!

(insert troll face and/or apology here)
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Hamfeature » 25 Nov 2010, 03:22

I am so ashamed I made this, and more ashamed I registered just to post it.
It takes place in a run-down Jersey ice-cream joint because shut up, that's why.

The door chime jingled as Kroze slid the rusting door of the ice cream parlor.
"Oh bus!" thought Kroze to himself, realizing the chime would alert his boss to his tardiness. Quickly, Kroze scurried behind the stained counter and donned his tiny paper hat.
"Krrooooooze!!!" came a bellow from the office. Kroze gulped as his suspender-wearing balding boss approached.
"You improvident lackwit! I did not open an ice-cream store with my bus-driver's 401k to employ a dilly-dallying daydreamer!"
Kroze was berated for several minutes more. When his engine-oil reeking employer returned to his miniscule office, Kroze's chin immediately sunk to his hands as he leant on the counter. Oh, how he wished for a dashing stranger to whisk him away from New Jersey's urban decay and dead-end jobs. Perhaps, Kroze thought to himself, a jet-setting charity chat moderator would walk through that door and makes his wildest dreams come true...

Suddenly, the creaking of the door roused Kroze from his daydream. A dark-haired gentleman strode in and, locking eyes with Kroze, sauntered over to the counter.
"What do you recommend for a man hungry for cream?" the enchanting man asked Kroze.
Kroze stammered, "Well, the Ice-Ice-Bacon Blast comes with two scoops of our special vanilla soft serve," remembering the menu correctly for the first time in his career.
"Tell me," intoned the customer without breaking eye contact, "Does it come with hot fudge?"
Kroze was seating profusely. "Well, that's 'sposed to cost extra..."
"Then maybe you can sweeten my snack some other way" said the man as he leaned closer to Kroze's reddening face.
"Oh, mister..." Kroze said breathlessly, helpless to resist the customer's advance.
"Call me... Ashton," the stranger whispered, his alluring breath filling Kroze's nostrils, his lips inches from Kroze's own quivering pair.

Kroze woke with a start. Gasping, he looked around the dingy parlor, but there was no-one around. Sighing, Kroze began counting the change in the register for the thousandth time. From the corner of his eye, he spied a slip of paper beneath a pile of greening pennies.
Unfolding the object with trembling hands, Kroze murmured as he read the print:
”Tucson to Las Vegas, one way.”.
Kroze cast off his tiny paper hat and leapt the counter. He didn’t bother to close the rusting door behind him.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby DewMan001 » 25 Nov 2010, 03:23

Kroze: A Triumphant Man
A bit of slashfic by James “DewMan001” Burton

It was a terrific battle between Kroze and Ashton. The chat read:
Kroze: 1050 GOING ONCE
There was a pause as the crew waited in expectation for another bid. No such thing occurred so the crew cried out “Going twice!” and the battle raged on.
Kroze: 1050 GOING TWICE
A minute passed, the crew eagerly waiting one final sniper bid. Silence in the chat, as Jer called out “I think we’re going to have to call sold on that one. Thanks guys”.
Kroze: SOLD
Kroze rose up triumphant and marched proudly to the center of the room. “And now Ashton, as the chat has demanded.”
“Oh, fine” Ashton said.
Ashton kneeled down and gazed at Kroze’s golden ring. He gave it a kiss.
And then again.
And then a third one but he missed. His lips dodged the shiny ring and dove softly in to Kroze’s middle finger skin. He cackled with glee, as Ashton rose up. He then saw his true feelings as he gazed in to Kroze’s eyes. He was staring at a handsome man, filled with awesome. He then pecked the air in front of Kroze and they both smiled at each other for a brief 15 second period. Ashton then wandered of in to the next room. Kroze then lay down the couch and raised his banhammer in victory.

Ashton then appeared, and chose the perfect spot to relax. He found his way to the couch and laid down on Kroze’s manly chest. “Good game, Ashton” he said, as he gave Ashton’s chocolate brown hair a brief tustle.
“And to you” he replied.
“You know, Ashton really is a girly name”
“Hey!....Well, okay. I guess it is.”
“Yeah....It is”
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby xdeathknightx » 25 Nov 2010, 03:25

Ok here for my rushed and purposely very terrible slashfic:

For days the battle was raging between Kroze and Ashton, for days closet man-love was raging between Kroze and Ashton.

Kroze loved threatning people with his banhammer, but all he could think of was Ashton's meathammer. Ashton was impressed by Kroze his hammer and hoped his other tools were large as well. They tried to hide their burning passion by trying to insult eachother, but everyone could see the loving glances they threw eachother, the dormant lust that was in their eyes as their gazes met. This was no longer a contest of popularity, it was a contest to who would be the daddy in this relationship. Kroze was dying to win because he was already the taker in his relationship with LittleKuriboh. The latter was more than ready to make Kroze do degrading things on camera, jealous as he was of this developing puppy love.

Kroze wore his tight green ranger shirts, hoping Ashton would notice his white fragile frame, Ashton didn't shave, hoping Kroze was a fan of rugged men.

Then it was finally time to count the votes, our fragile virgin Kroze was victorious. Finally the best Desert Bus couple was going to be together. For all the world to see, these two teddybears shared a kiss. Forever their love was sealed. LittleKuriboh screamed from his lair as his boytoy was forever lost to him. Unable to contain himself Kroze dragged Ashton to the auction item storage room. Quickly and fumbling they removed eachothers clothing, Ashton was happy to see the banhammer wasn't the only large thing Kroze had. As Ashton bend over Kroze whispered in his ear: "it's hammer time". Afterwards they went back to the room, happy and fulfilled, and every time an auction item was a bit sticky they shared a gaze and a smile.

But sadly, this man-love was also rooted in disaster. Thinking about Kroze his big meaty banhammer and his dark gaping abyss Ashton failed to keep the bus on the road. Cries were heard all over the internet. Will this disaster stand in the way of their burning love? Only time will tell.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby CalmBlue » 25 Nov 2010, 03:28

A contest arose, between Ashton and Kroze
Victory appointed to the man the chat chose

Each man plead their case to the viewers online
Quoth Kroze "Vote for my team!" Quoth Ashton "No, mine!"

The challenge set out and the punishment accepted
The heat was on, much more fierce than expected

For the penalty consisted of a bout of forced jiving
A kiss for the winner, and an hour of driving

The stakes now known to both Ashton and Kroze
The intensity of the battle rose and rose

Votes pledged by donations of 5 and of 6
The chatters got busy with a flurry of clicks

It was close, noone knew who'd be blessed with the crown
They inched ahead of one another until Chipin BLOODY BROKE DOWN

Donations were stopped for damn near half an hour
Some chatters blamed 4chan and Anonymous' power

But it seemed that it wasn't DDOS to blame
But the generosity of the audience: the goldhearted who game

Donations had clogged up the Chipins poor pipes
The audience responding with half-whispered gripes

Unable to vote, the chatters subsided
The chat it seemed was at least less divided

Then Chipin was up and the race was back on!
But just a few minutes later and the timeframe was gone

The voting over and the winner's name cemented
The folks in the chat were getting frickin' demented

But the one with the answer at the front of their mind
Just wouldn't stop talking and stalling for time

But soon they relented and I swear the world froze
By a margin of 6 votes... The winner was KROZE!

Everyone knew the piper had to be paid
Kroze stood triumphant; Ashton beaten, afraid

Despite his defeat, stronger emotions abounded
Sweat poured from his brow, his heart simply pounded

What the others knew not, Ashton could barely contain
The lust that burdened his shoulders and weighed on his brain

Now here before friends, and even worse total strangers
Ashton must confront Aphrodite and her accompanying dangers

With a tip of his trillby, and a quick flash of bling
Kroze issued his challenge: "Place your lips... on my ring."

He stepped up to his idol, then stooped to his knees
His insides torn up by what seemed like LAVA BEES!

He worked up the mettle, pushed his lips 'gainst the metal
The lava bees simply refusing to settle

The deed then done, Ashton felt strangely gypped
Like a sweet godly nectar that he'd only just sipped

He needed much more, so he sprang from the floor
Grabbed Kroze's head, and showed him what for!

Their lips interlocked choirs sang from the skies
You didn't think that was hot? Lies, I say! LIES!

Well the sexy part's done, back to kittens and pigs
And rappers in tracksuits and women in wigs

But where are the contenders now the contest is sussed?
They're boffing their Bothans at the back of the bus
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby crazybat » 25 Nov 2010, 03:34

Love you Kroze, but I couldn't resist, I had to make one :D <3

After Ashton kisses Kroze's ring, during which they both felt a strong bond of power. Ashton felt dominated with Kroze standing over him, this was such a powering presence to him. Ashton leaned in and pressed his lips hard on the ring, feeling less equal to Kroze. Kroze was victorious, he had it all, power, pride, he had beat Ashton, this was the best moment of the day. The moment couldn't help but resemble a knight kissing his king's ring. Or possibly a proposal? Kroze turned away, feeling complete, the victory! Ashton walked away, unsure of how he could regain his own honor and then decided to regain it by giving Kroze the embarrassment of a lifetime. Ashton turns and rushes Kroze and gives him a full kiss on the lips. The shock, the horror! These confused feelings now raging through Kroze. What was this? Was this a move of embarrassment? Or a move of a hidden deep desire of passion and love? Kroze wanted to know more. Ashton wouldn't tell. Kroze could only wonder really what Ashton intended with his kiss. These feelings stirring between them, could it be? Love? Secretly they both hoped so, but refused to speak the words. Kroze wanted more, he wanted Ashton, Ashton wanted Kroze, but would they have each other?
Far away from the crowd, Kroze approaches Ashton and beseeches what the kiss meant to him. Ashton being very forward now that they were away from the rest, grabbed Kroze's hand and slipped his fingers between his as Ashton asked ''Would you have me?'' Kroze stood in silence, leaning away from Ashton's approaching his, assuming his silence meant a yes. Kraze, unable to give a straight answer, his feelings confused and unfounded he stood straight suddenly and unlinked his fingers from Ashtons and replied finally, " I may have to ban you for that."
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Kapol » 25 Nov 2010, 03:35

The fact that I wrote this makes me sad. And I would like anyone who reads this to remember something very important: THIS IS A JOKE!I do hope you enjoy it though. :p

The truth behind the kiss, with a twist!

The challenge has just finished. At the revelation of his loss, Ashton's heart sank a bit. He had been defeated by his enemy, which meant that six people liked Kroze more then they liked him. But... looking at Kroze... he couldn't blame them. That hat... his manly face... that compact size... it all cried out to him to kiss. Part of him was now happy he'd lost the face off.

“So what do you want him to kiss.” Asked Matt, watching from the sidelines as the two looked at each other. Kroze took a moment to think about the choices.

“My ring...” Kroze said with a smug smile and a mocking tone. He held out his hand and smiled at his opponent. He had been victorious, so why not make Ashton suffer?

Ashton sighed, a small flame of hope snuffed out. His heart sank as he realized that he would be unable to kiss the man he loved in the way he wanted. But maybe... He sank to his knees and gave the ring a quick kiss, secretly knowing what he'd prefer to do from there. He looked up at the confident man that he had fallen for. What he would give to be on his knees in another way...

He stood up as his challenge was over. But he could no longer stand this desire building up inside of him. Finally, he pulled Kroze into a passionate kiss without restraint as the internet could only watch. The energy burst throughout the moonbase, causing everyone in it's walls to feel the two. Kroze's eyes widened in surprise, but he offered no resistance. Instead he returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around Ashton as the two kissed as over two-thousand people watched.

Finally, Ashton pulled away from Kroze, allowing him to finally get his bareings. “What...” Kroze began, though he was silenced as Ashton put a finger to his lips.

“Shh... I cannot hold myself back anymore. I'm in love with you Kroze, and I'm not afraid to admit it.” He said aloud as the internet, and indeed everyone in the moon base watched in a combination of awe and terror. “All I want to do is grab your great big, strong, banhammer and bus you to keep warm on this snow-filled night. Come, join me as we leave the others to their bus in the desert to be with each other.” He walked closer to Kroze, reaching to go for his big banhammer.

Kroze pushed Ashton away, blushing as his gaze fell to the floor. “I'm sorry Ashton, but I do not share your feeling. For you see... I'm in love with Matt!” He rushed over and pulled Matt, who had been staring in horror at the two the entire time. He was too shocked to resist Kroze, and couldn't bring himself to push himself away from the man's warm touch. Ashton's heart fell as he lost his love to another man. But he wouldn't give up. He WOULD bring Kroze back to him!

After a moment of passionate kissing, Kroze finally pulled away. “Matt... you can take me to a gay bar anytime you want...”
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby overlordstowell » 25 Nov 2010, 03:50

I wrote the "epic first line" slashfic. Here it is:

Ashton knelt in front of Kroze, towering over him. He reached his hand out, trembling and dove into Kroze's magic pocket. Their deep love emerged from the children and they did not give a bitch. Their loved rained down on the children from the moon. Octopimp looked on, approving. The hawt sweaty lovemaking gave the world 40 points of true love. While things got weird when the pig involved, it was okay 'cause Alex got clubbed.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Katholik » 25 Nov 2010, 07:22

EnglishMQ, you give good fic.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby WallCat » 25 Nov 2010, 15:25

My god these are fantastic. some because they are good and some because they are terrible in all the best ways. XD
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby tak197 » 25 Nov 2010, 15:29

I kinda want to read the one that was in the style of a chat manuscript. It was really funny.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby EnglishMQ » 25 Nov 2010, 16:52

Katholik wrote:EnglishMQ, you give good fic.

Why thank you.
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Invariel » 25 Nov 2010, 17:13

tak197 said:
I kinda want to read the one that was in the style of a chat manuscript. It was really funny.

Ask, and ye shall receive. Once again, apologies to all the people whose names just happened to be scrolling down the IRC window when I needed some names.

<+soundphan> double madness
<+icenflame> double madness
<+IAMHEREPLZ> can we see a thousand
<+DoctorVancouver> BID_625
<+TorturedSoul> oh sniped
<+MASA> snipers aim
<+soundphan> snipers take aim
<+icenflame> SNIPED!!!
<@Octopimp> BID_650
<+TorturedSoul> Double sniped!
<+IAMHEREPLZ> so much closer to 1000
<+DacoTaco> BID_675
<+DoctorVancouver> BID_680
<@Octopimp> BID_750
<+TorturedSoul> wow
<+Staplecrab> octopimp brings it
<+soundphan> wow!!! go octopimp
<@Kroze> $750 - GOING ONCE [BRING IT]
<+soundphan> who can step to octopimp
<+SnowmanCA> nobody can touch the octopimp
<+luckieduckie> snipers? snipers?
<+icenflame> Dear Dr. LRR - are challenges open?
<@Kroze> $750 - GOING TWICE [BRING IT]
<+Staplecrab> whats going on in the background
<+soundphan> ashton?!!
<+SnowmanCA> what the...
<+luckieduckie> holy!!
<+icenflame> FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!
<+DacoTaco> so many screencaps!
<+DoctorVancouver> BID_800
<+IAMHEREPLZ> hey, guys, there's an auction going on right now!
<+luckieduckie> now filming, for the children!
<@Dix> Uhh... $800, going once, since the regular guys are busy.
<@Kroze> ahdudhn ca adsajiocauca
<@Octopimp> BID_825
<+TorturedSoul> i think desert bus 4 is rated M for Mature as of this point
<+DoctorVancouver> BID_850
<+soundphan> stop bidding there's more important stuff going on
<+SnowmanCA> i can't believe this is happening
<+DacoTaco> is this even legal in Canada??
<+luckieduckie> i can
<+luckieduckie> who cares? its hot! go for the pants ashton!
<@Dix> Looks like $850, going once.
<+DacoTaco> who cares about the bidding anymore? go Kroze!
<+Staplecrab> Ashton: go lower!
<+SnowmanCA> octopimp: go higher!
<+Staplecrab> hold the bidding and let them finish!
<@Dix> $850, going twice, regardless of what's happening on camera.
<+luckieduckie> it looks like kroze is coming twice...
<+Ryaken> what's going on here?! it looks like ashton is mounting kroze on camera!
<@Dix> $850, sold to DoctorVancouver. [Looks like Ashton and Kroze are going to be busy for a while.]
<+IAMHEREPLZ> where did the feed go?
<+TorturedSoul> nooo the camera went down
<+Staplecrab> no more video???
<+soundphan> feed is dead
<+SnowmanCA> feed is down
<+luckieduckie> i recorded it all
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby JustAName » 25 Nov 2010, 22:43

I'm enjoying reading all of these... But PLEASE, for the love of me, TRY to stick to one tense. Please? (Also, <3 for the did not give a bitch line. I was so glad when they accepted that challenge.)
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Ryaken » 19 Aug 2011, 21:14

I feel privileged to be mentioned in the chat for this mess haha
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Re: Desert Bus slash fic thread

Postby Invariel » 19 Aug 2011, 22:05

You were likely active at the time, and had said something in the few minutes it took me to throw that together. :)
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