The Big Relationship Thread

[Metcarfre]

I think you need something outside of work and LRR Matt. Have you ever considered joining a running club or something?

[Matt]

considered, yes, but I defy you to find the spare hours in the day to fit it in.

-m

[Jillers]

@Matt well, like my grandma used to say:
"The worst they can do is say no,and then you know you never had it."

[iamafish]

Analysis Paralysis is the name of my indie band. Just saying.

I think almost every nerd has the problem of other thinking such situations. Hell I did it, I stalled for weeks before forcing myself to ask her out. 12 months on and, well, it's been 12 awesome months.

Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

[Metcarfre]

considered, yes, but I defy you to find the spare hours in the day to fit it in.

-m

You run, do you not?

Now, do it with people.

[iamafish]

he does, it's called Loading Ready Run. See that pun has never been made before...

[Digital Dolphin]

I met a really cute girl recently. I didn't have much time to talk to her at the time, but she seemed nice.

Then, last night I was having dinner with some friends and she was unexpectedly invited to join us (I knew someone was being invited, I didn't know it was her).

This time, by luck of the fates, we had plenty of opportunity to chat, as we ended up seated across from each other at the table. Now I know that she's a geek, into gaming, and has a smart phone. We also seem to have a lot in common (although she's certainly more of a gamer than I am).

A mutual friend offered to help coordinate excuses for us to run into each other socially to see where things go.

[Deedles]

I may be new here and haven't posted a lot on the forums, so no one knows me, but I have been following LRR for a year now ... What I want to say with that, Matt, is that while I know that I could never see your whole personality through the sketches that you guys do, from what I see I'm of the opinion that you're a funny, very cute, intelligent, cultural, and talented indivudual.

I over analyze too, most decisions that I ever take and make ... like this post even. I'm currently sitting here and thinking 'should I just delete it and write it off as a bad idea? Will I come off as some forward freak, or will I actually make sense? Will someone look at this and think "Jesus! What a loser! What the HELL are they talking about?" or will they stop and think "Hmmm, they do have a point."'.

How am I to know? I'll never know, and that scares the living christ out of me. Even over the internet!

Serously ... don't be scared and don't doubt yourself. Take the leap of faith, you'll have to if you want to get anything, ever.

[Metcarfre]

If you like LLR you might just like their off-brand cousin, LRR.

Just kidding, rookie mistake!

[Deedles]

If you like LLR you might just like their off-brand cousin, LRR.

Just kidding, rookie mistake!

WHOOPS!

... I totally did that on purpose *ahem* I mean ... yeah! I mean! Totally! ... Smoooooooooth.

Thanks. :]

[2stepz]

Someone once defined a fool as:
"Doing the same thing and expecting different results."

Basically, if you're not happy with your life... change something. if you don't have time to try a new activity, start with a new coffee shop, a new grocery store, a new route to work. Any of the above will bring you into contact with a change of scenery, likely to include new cute girls.

However... if you don't have the nerve to approach them, its not going to make much difference. In this situation, I'd say the first thing that needs to change is your mindset. You made the comment that "She's not there to be badgered with (potentially) unwanted advances from random dudes off the street." {To which my thought in response was... "so where would I go if I wanted to be badgered?"} Do you think that way about everybody you meet? I mean... I have a purpose for being where ever I might be... whether I'm shopping or working or walking down a street... my purpose there isn't to pick up men. That doesn't mean flirtation would be unwelcome.

[Kara]

Since this thread is still going I'ma update. I have no idea when I last posted here.

Um, so, over the Summer I had to repeatedly reject this guy who wouldn't stop asking me out. Felt bad man. I'd flirted with him back, so it is totally my fault, at which point I told him I had feelings for someone that I couldn't ignore and thus I couldn't date him. He still refuses to let this rest and hits on me whenever I see him and asks me out often. I continue to say no.

That being said, I'm in love. Legit. With a really good friend of mine. He feels the same. I don't know where it's going yet, as it's an incredibly complicated situation where he is getting out of a relationship with one of my best friends, but we're both aware of our feelings for each other and are giving it time. We're hanging out constantly and taking it slow, but it's happening.

Life's good, though it takes some patience. ^_^ Things are looking up for ol' Kara.

[iamafish]

this guy is a bit of an asshole. Don't blame yourself. He needs to learn that persistence will not get him everywhere. Him asking you out the first time, maybe the second is fine, but after than he's just being a dick. Don't beat yourself up about it, try to put him to the back of your mind and concentrate on the person who matters. I hope that goes well for you. Sounds like you're dealing with a delicate situation pretty well my just taking things slowly.

[Kara]

Thanks fish. I really hope I'm dealing with this situation well at least. It's gonna be pretty terrible having to deal with the bullshit that will come along with all of this, but I really believe that this guy is worth it. He really understands me better than anyone else ever has. We're best friends, and more, and that's the most I could ever ask for. I finally get what people mean when they say things like that, that who you're with is your best friend too.

As for the other guy, I know he's just being an ass. He's just not very...I dunno, emotionally competent, so I feel particularly bad about this whole thing. I try to offer to be his friend beyond anything else, but he just takes that as more I guess even though I have told him specifically I don't want to be more than friends. At this point it's getting to the point where I almost want to give up on that in order for him to really get that I'm not interested in him in that way. Yes, I was drunk at a cast party and made out with him. Once. Like four months ago. And I told him IMMEDIATELY that it was a mistake and I was too drunk and needed to go home.
Uuuuuugh. Gonna haunt me forever. At least my guy doesn't care if I may be on the verge of getting stalked. xD

[Metcarfre]

Have you told him, clearly, and in no uncertain terms, that you do not like him? Or only that you are interested in someone else?

[Kara]

I told him clearly and plainly that I don't want to be in a relationship with him period. I told him this before I told him there was someone else.
The problem is it's not that I entirely don't like him, I just really don't like him enough to actually date him, and how he's dealt with me since my initial rejection is proof that I definitely made the right choice.
Would it be worth it to lie to him and say I don't like him at all that way just to get the idea in his head that we won't ever be together? I suppose it doesn't much matter at this point.

[Metcarfre]

If you don't like him enough to date him, you don't like him. Say so.

Next, pepper spray.

[Kara]

I most definitely hope it doesn't come to that. He's done some preeeeetty creepy things. I just get the feeling that he isn't big on social norms though rather than pepper spray being necessary. xD I hope so at least.

[WBAGNR]

1 year of being single!! Woop! Party!

[goat]

1 year of being single!! Woop! Party!

1 month here. Booray!

[WBAGNR]

To be honest, it was only a brief rush into the relationship world...six days. Silly girl and her interfering friends.

Mosbey! Mosbey! Mosbey!

[2stepz]

9 months single here... 11 since we were actually together.

[iamafish]

all these single LRRites should get together. you never know what might happen, I mean look at the stats on the forum!

[Digital Dolphin]

A LRR Forums singles meet? What COUNTRY would it be held in?

[JustAName]

Omnibus, of course!