Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
- General Michi
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Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Many years ago today man's first ever recorded "Fooled you!" occurred when Jesus "The Immortal" Christ gained even more super powers than normal and pushed a really really big rock out of his way after coming back from Hades' house, just like Hercules before him.
And so we celebrate this feat, despite it obviously not being the first since Hercules did it first but shut up, by hunting down the endangered Chocolate Rabbit - Chicken hybrid, squeezing it tight to obtain it's precious eggs to be eaten whole like the barbarians of old.
Happy Easter LRRites
And so we celebrate this feat, despite it obviously not being the first since Hercules did it first but shut up, by hunting down the endangered Chocolate Rabbit - Chicken hybrid, squeezing it tight to obtain it's precious eggs to be eaten whole like the barbarians of old.
Happy Easter LRRites
- Vigafre
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Slightly off topic, but didn't the devil technically have the first "Fooled you!", so to speak, with the whole apple thing?
I don't actually care, I just wanted to say something.
I don't actually care, I just wanted to say something.
- General Michi
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Yeah, but they couldn't write it down given that all the trees were in Eden. I mean, they could carve "the devil is evil" into their flesh but that's kinda a given
- Vigafre
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Oh whoops, I missed "recorded" in your post. My mistake.
Anyways, I've never had a Cadbury cream egg. Am I really missing out?
Anyways, I've never had a Cadbury cream egg. Am I really missing out?
Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
General Michi wrote:Many years ago today man's first ever recorded "Fooled you!" occurred when Jesus "The Immortal" Christ gained even more super powers than normal and pushed a really really big rock out of his way after coming back from Hades' house, just like Hercules before him.
Actually, it was just an immortal caveman who slowed his metabolism, but there were some fanatics waiting for him. If you get this reference I love you. This movie is one of the best ever.
EJ wrote:Lyinginbedmon, I'm looking forward to when Paul or Graham reset your & Elomin's post count back to zero. If you keep it up it's bound to happen =p
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- Elomin Sha
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
I sucked the chocolate out of my local bunny. I think it has gone off.
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- theDreamer
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Vigafre wrote:Oh whoops, I missed "recorded" in your post. My mistake.
Genesis 3:1 to 3:4 wrote:Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.
Recorded.
- Vanguard
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
... you're only half-right, Michi. You've only got the spiritual side of things...
The "consumer" side of the Easter holiday has it's roots back in the Great Depression of the 1930's where in which struggling chocolate entrepreneur Sir Cadbury Rutherford Blutarch Remmington McEastertenburg needed to find a way to both cut down on production costs and still deliver his product to the poor, unwashed masses. His solution was to create a brand new kind of chocolate, "Easter chocolate", that was made with 3% chocolate extract, 37% ground up rabbit bones and 60% sawdust.
Because paper was so rare and expensive at the time, something that was a direct result of the Ents fleeing the country for the decade to preserve the value of their stock options, the "wrapper" of this chocolate was made out of the most readily available material of the time: discarded eggshells. These eggshells were stuffed to the brim with chocolate and then put back together with horse glue and a healthy dose of lead paint to make it look presentable.
Many years later, after the technology was invented to create chocolate that wouldn't cause intestinal rot or strange human/rabbit chimera offspring, the Cadbury Creme Egg was invented.
... and now you know why American flags are hung at half-mass on Easter; to honor the memories of all the lives claimed by eating poisonous sawdust chocolate.
And now you know, and knowledge is power.
~V
The "consumer" side of the Easter holiday has it's roots back in the Great Depression of the 1930's where in which struggling chocolate entrepreneur Sir Cadbury Rutherford Blutarch Remmington McEastertenburg needed to find a way to both cut down on production costs and still deliver his product to the poor, unwashed masses. His solution was to create a brand new kind of chocolate, "Easter chocolate", that was made with 3% chocolate extract, 37% ground up rabbit bones and 60% sawdust.
Because paper was so rare and expensive at the time, something that was a direct result of the Ents fleeing the country for the decade to preserve the value of their stock options, the "wrapper" of this chocolate was made out of the most readily available material of the time: discarded eggshells. These eggshells were stuffed to the brim with chocolate and then put back together with horse glue and a healthy dose of lead paint to make it look presentable.
Many years later, after the technology was invented to create chocolate that wouldn't cause intestinal rot or strange human/rabbit chimera offspring, the Cadbury Creme Egg was invented.
... and now you know why American flags are hung at half-mass on Easter; to honor the memories of all the lives claimed by eating poisonous sawdust chocolate.
And now you know, and knowledge is power.
~V
Last edited by Vanguard on 08 Apr 2012, 07:05, edited 1 time in total.
- Lyinginbedmon
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
I shall spend this day as is customary, hunting down the phylactery of the lich king that has gained foul sway across many.
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- Lord Chrusher
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Picnic in the Botanical Gardens, couple drinks in chill bar then a stand up comic.
We are all made of star dust. However we are also made of nuclear waste.
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- Vigafre
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
theDreamer wrote:Recorded.
More like "recorded", but yeah.
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Vigafre wrote:Oh whoops, I missed "recorded" in your post. My mistake.
Anyways, I've never had a Cadbury cream egg. Am I really missing out?
Creme eggs are addictively good, it's just a shame they are so small and that other people eat them. There are worse things you could eat.
I'm not much of an Easter fan myself. I think it is a bad idea to indoctrinate kids into believing that it is a good idea to eat brown things left behind by rabbits.
- General Michi
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Especially if the brown things in question are filled with a yellow and white fluid.
Genesis is overrated
theDreamer wrote: Recorded.
Genesis is overrated
- Elomin Sha
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
General Michi wrote:Genesis is overrated
Yeah, they're really not a good band.
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- Drdiggit42
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Elomin Sha wrote:General Michi wrote:Genesis is overrated
Yeah, they're really not a good band.
Land of Confusion was okay.
All problems can be solved by trebuchets and/or fire.
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- the amativeness
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Meh. Easter's not til next Sunday.
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- Psyclone
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
If rabbit poop was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for kids! Ugh, parents these days.
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- Elomin Sha
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Psyclone wrote:If rabbit poop was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for kids!
That is why we have Nesquick cereal.
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- General Michi
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
I hear it comes in diarrhea too
- Jamfalcon
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Elomin Sha wrote:General Michi wrote:Genesis is overrated
Yeah, they're really not a good band.
I'll just pretend I didn't hear that. Otherwise we might have a little situation on our hands.
- Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
I feel like I am unable to add anything of comedic merit now to this thread
Except. Regardless of how much chocolate I obtain from the ether, I will cause it to vanish before the day is out. It's a phnuminuniumium.
Except. Regardless of how much chocolate I obtain from the ether, I will cause it to vanish before the day is out. It's a phnuminuniumium.
- Vigafre
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Coming out with it. Chocolate is meh.
I used to love it, but now I can hardly eat a brownie. Then again, I never really like brownies.
I used to love it, but now I can hardly eat a brownie. Then again, I never really like brownies.
- Psyclone
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
That's my experience with chocolate too. I do still like hot cocoa and chocolate cake, though.
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- Vigafre
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
Oh yeah, totally.
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Re: Happy Magical-Rabbit-That-Poops-Chocolate Day!
I devour chocolate like it is my lifeblood.
Also, I don't care that I'm "too old for it," I still did an Easter egg hunt with my stepsister (10 months older than I am) this morning! She found 24, I found 30. Also, full-on Easter basket. OM NOM NOM ALL THE DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE.
Also, I don't care that I'm "too old for it," I still did an Easter egg hunt with my stepsister (10 months older than I am) this morning! She found 24, I found 30. Also, full-on Easter basket. OM NOM NOM ALL THE DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE.
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