So it begins... Zombies! (sorry gc)

[The_Doctor]

Miami police shoot naked man chewing on victims face
All North American readers I strongly suggest fleeing towards the nearest airport

[Darkobra]

SO many questions with that. Continued to EAT him? So he also swallowed his flesh? Why was he naked? How did a fight break out and suddenly he's naked? How could he continue chewing after being shot SEVERAL TIMES?! And why did I think of Leon S. Kennedy?

[The_Doctor]

yeah the whole "shot the guy half a dozen times, kept chewing" was mighty weird.

[gcninja]

1) how dare you steal my topic title..
2) Wth, I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
3) Hungry? Why not grab a Snickers?

I just feel bad for the guy getting his face chewed on... still alive at least.

[Dibria]

I kind of expected the zombie apocolypse to arrive with more fanfare, not a footnote from some news site.

[Darkobra]

"George Lucas fucking with rich people! Colleges being shut down! That's all from today's news! Oh by the way. Did you hear about a guy being shot several times in the torso and continued eating a guy's face? Well, not important. Here's a story of a dog that saved a cat from a river!"

[The_Doctor]

I just feel bad for the guy getting his face chewed on... still alive at least.

For now...

Also a thousand apologies for the slight good sir

[gcninja]

I was kidding, but Zombies, not something I thought of.. So it begins! I'll get my crossbow.

[Geoff_B]

People living in Bristol, UK, are safe - the council has an anti-zombie plan. I am sure that other local councils will shortly follow suit.

[Fenrir]

2) Wth, I don't want to live on this planet anymore...

Pretty much that ....

I ... I actually have no words. That's just .... yeah

[Psyclone]

Oh Christ. Anyone not on this continent have a couch they're not using?

[RedNightmare]

If you bring a gun and some ammo to hold the fort, my couch is yours

[Dibria]

Hmm... If I repoint some of my arrows I'll have a decent ranged weapon and arrows are recoverable, just have to be careful not to get any ichor in wounds.

My iaito will do some damage, non sharp sword is still a 3 foot long piece of pointed steel.



Think I'm set... No wait... Need food and water... Balls.

[Fenrir]

Well, I'm fucked....all the weapons I have to hand are close to mid range.

[Lyinginbedmon]

Wow that...that actually does sound pretty textbook for "this is totally zombies, but we're gonna write it so as not to confirm that it's clearly zombies"

I'd like however to request that people avoid airports, at least for the initial months. As population centers you're more likely to encounter a zombie there, and the last thing the globe needs is an intercontinental zombie delivery service.

[Dibria]

the last thing the globe needs is an intercontinental zombie delivery service.

ring ring...ring ring...

'hello you've reached Zombies onDemand! The worlds premier intercontinental zombie delivery specialist! If you'd like to open an order please press one, if you'd like to talk to us about a existing order please press two, if brains, brains brains brains.... Braaaaaaains....'

[The_Doctor]

So happy I'm on a giant island on the other side of the Pacific... Just saying

[empath]

yeah the whole "shot the guy half a dozen times, kept chewing" was mighty weird.

SO many questions with that. Continued to EAT him? So he also swallowed his flesh? Why was he naked? How did a fight break out and suddenly he's naked? How could he continue chewing after being shot SEVERAL TIMES?! And why did I think of Leon S. Kennedy?

"Cocaine's a HELL of a drug." - Rick James (RIP)

The second comment on the news site details what everyone's thinking, the next two apparently were "collapsed by the community", and the fifth gets to another alternative - hard drugs.

Because Miami isn't just a port city for legal commerce...


Nonetheless, I feel relatively safe on an out-of-the-way island that not many people WANT to fly to, have a fair number of 'improvisable' weapons close to hand, an a large hardware store with a sporting goods/firearms section within a short walk of home.

If shit hits the fan, y'all are welcome to travel east and grab a boat at the shore; just expect a REAL 'security screening' process when you arrive...

[Vigafre]

You guys seemed to overlook the fact that this is Florida.

[Darkobra]

The collapsed comments were all about the media going to eventually make the cop out to be racist or homophobic. A VAST leap at bullshit just so he can go on his crusade at the "rich white man." Really not worth reading. And he continues on that rant for a few pages.

[Lyinginbedmon]

Whilst possible, I don't see the evidence to suggest it from that article alone, so I agree it's a huge leap.

[Wraith]

The worst part about this (asside from the whole horrible death thing) is that I'm just writing this off, and that's exactly how these things always start in the movies. Some weird-ass news report that no one pays attention to.

I wonder if Zombie Squad will revoke my membership for ignoring this...

[The Jester]

Well... If we conduct a threat analysis, we find that it could very easily be worse. The zombie didn't stop eating it's first victim to go after the police man who hailed him, and didn't even stop eating when attacked and shot. If subsequent zombies follow this same pattern, they pose a virtually insignificant threat.

Realistically speaking, I think it was probably a mentally unstable murderer, who ... I don't know, believed that by eating his victim's face he would gain that person's appearance. Something like that.

I don't know, tbh, and we can't ask him any more, either.

[Dibria]

I know it's the media's go to explanation but with something like this it's hard not to think it was drug use, or at the very least someone hallucinating. A psychotic break is plausible but less likely, I'm going to go ahead and assume the autopsy will show a vast amount of some mind effecting chemical, either through accidental exposure or deliberate.

[Psyclone]

The Miami Herald suspects "cocaine psychosis," but someone in the comments of the other article did suggest clinical lycanthropy as a cause.