Wish Corrupting Game

[Geoff_B]

Granted. Too bad they've changed it.

I wish it was a bit later in the day.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted! it's now 1 minute to midnight, too late to enjoy the rest of the day.

I wish I'd made more progress on my essay today

[Kapol]

Granted, but the essay is awful in the end.

I wish I was smart enough to be able to bend space and time to my whims.

[Gap Filler]

Granted. Pime Taradox.

I wish I weren't so cuddly.

[General Michi]

Granted, your skin is nettles

I wish I mind powers

[ex-Lurker]

Granted, you can now read everyone's mind, you are driven insane by all of the thoughts.

I wish that wasn't a cliche.

[plummeting_sloth]

Congratulations! It's now not a cliche! In fact, it's such an original and heterodox thought, you are immediately beaten and killed for it!

I wish there was no traffic between Annapolis and here tomorrow.

[Mara Kalat]

Granted, there is now a chasm between it.

I wish for omniscience.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted! You know everything, including the knowledge that that much knowledge would explode a human brain within 9 nanoseconds.

I wish there were 5 more hours in the day

[plummeting_sloth]

Granted. They only appear during the middle of incredibly boring meetings that never end.

I wish this incredibly boring meeting would end.

[ex-Lurker]

It ends with a dragon eating/burning everyone.

I wish for more Skyrim.

[Geoff_B]

Granted. You have all the Skyrim you could ever want. And your graphics card has exploded under the load.

I wish my network speed was more consistent.

[General Michi]

Granted, it's consistently 0.1 kb/s

I wish I could live in my bed.

[Mowinckel]

Granted, but you are unable to move, speak or use your senses

I wish everything was better

[Gap Filler]

Granted. Everything is worse.

I wish my gifs weren't broken.

[ex-Lurker]

Granted, your gifs are now of goatse.

I wish for more friends.

[General Michi]

Granted, they are all Paris Hilton clones

I wish I could get up at a reasonable hour

[ex-Lurker]

Granted, you are awoken by Paris Hilton clones.

I wish for a quick way to depose of these Paris Hilton clones.

[King Kool]

Granted, but now several ex-queen Paris Hiltons are really angry at you and they all have lots of money to spend hurting you.

I wish something would fall from the sky and kill me.

[epocalypse]

Granted, but it's space radiation causes you to rise again as one of the sentient undead.

I wish that my vote actually had an effect on the presidential election.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted! The effect is exactly 0.000001%. Congratulations!

I wish I hadn't eaten that whole bar of chocolate. mmmmmm

[Gap Filler]

Granted. Cheers for the bar of chocolate, it was really tasty.

I wish I had some 85% cocoa chocolate.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted! the other 15% is Strychnine.

I wish I could sleep

[Gap Filler]

Granted. You're now in coma.

I wish I were not 98% water and therefore that close to drowning.

[ex-Lurker]

Granted, you are now a mummy.

I wish for more LRR.