The Big Relationship Thread

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Dutch guy
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dutch guy » 16 Dec 2012, 04:54

Don't kid yourself, no-one can conceal being interested in someone in any way shape or form. The good news is, most women seem to be less sensitive to the "cues" when they are the target then men observing "from the outside".
And why would it even matter all that much?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 16 Dec 2012, 10:30

Not really, most people know I mean her best friend knows so I have no reason to assume that she doesn't. It really just changes how I interpret how she responds to me
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Valkyrie-Lemons » 16 Dec 2012, 10:48

Well if she knows, that can be a good thing. If you're able to find out what she thinks about you liking her it might help with strategy.

...Strategy? I'm not sure if that's the word I really wanted to use but whatever, I can't think of a better word.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 16 Dec 2012, 11:24

Well my primary method of flirting is the 5th grader technique (teasing/poking fun). And she responds with smiles and laughing and fake threats of violence. I assume that's good.

Oh and strategy is a good word
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 16 Dec 2012, 12:44

I use fire.
Success rate seems to be 0%.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Cybertrash » 16 Dec 2012, 14:17

I'm not sure if this should go here or in the venting thread, but it's relationship-related so inna here it goes.

I've been kind-of-interested in a friend for a while, and she seemed to reciprocate (got up to some kissing/cuddling business a couple of times, all good), and (as I heard from Other Friend) it seemed like she was actually genuinly interested in some sort of romantic arrangement, but wanted to take things slow, fine by me.

This weekend she held a housewarming party and a bunch of us were invited and I went along, mostly because I wanted to have fun at a party, rather than using it as an excuse to meet her, but my emotions don't really do what I want them to. We talk a bit and she mentions she's met a guy, and sure enough there's a guy there who she seems involved with, and I spend the rest of the night feeling awful and getting way too drunk.

And despite being interested in her, she's also a friend so if she's happy all the power to her, but at the same time I can't help but wonder what happened? If she wanted to take it slow with me, how come this guy seemed to appear from nowhere? Which in turn leads to questions about why she did stuff with me in the first place (because we were drunk? Pity? Mental illness?) Granted, I don't know if she "met" him as "boyfriend" or if she just wanted to fool around with someone for the night.

Now I'm sitting here feeling like shit and listening to Burial (awful combination by the way, Burial's music is emotional enough as it is) and I'm not even sure *why* I feel so bad as I do. I guess this has served as a reminder of how ridiculously lonely I feel, and there seems to be no end to that in sight.

I don't really know what to type anymore I feel like shit, I needed to vent and I have no friends I can confide in. I realize this is probably a whiny, jumbling mess but I needed to get something out, I just hate feeling like this and I don't know what to do.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Valkyrie-Lemons » 16 Dec 2012, 15:04

My friend, I feel your pain as I have felt it many times.

The worse one was when someone who I had feelings for and she kinda reciprocated them too sent me a text saying something along the lines of:

"I never want to go out with you"

To which she then said at a later date:

"I'm going to kiss someone right in front of you to make you feel jealous"

Oh and there was the time when I fancied someone else and we started flirting with each other for a while, until she got herself a boyfriend out of nowhere (it lasted around a month).

And then there was the time when the person I fancied above anyone else came and told me excitiedly that she had a boyfriend and asked if I was happy for her.

Well I was happy for her but not happy myself.

The thing is that this sort of thing is normal, so don't feel too down about yourself mate.

If I can recommend something is to REMAIN FRIENDS. I've remained friends with two of the above and we get along great. And y'know what? I still managed to find other people who we seem slightly interested in each other.

I know you probably feel really sucky right now and nothing I'm going to say is really going to help, but just keep your chin up and I'm sure something good will happen in the future.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 16 Dec 2012, 20:42

Pro Tip: if anyone texts you or messages you on facebook about breaking up, they're probably a bad person. It should be AT THE VERY, VERY LEAST a phone call, and that's really only for relationships where you can't see each other face-to-face.
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby RedNightmare » 16 Dec 2012, 23:59

Yeah, seriously. If you're going to break up, be a (wo)man about it and do it face-to-face (unless you live far away, as Ghost says)

Also, Cybertrash, don't feel bad about feeling bad. You got rejected in a way and this always causes a form of mourning, even though no-one died. It will stay with you for a while, but don't let it take over completely. Acknowledge it, but keep trying to move on.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby AdmiralMemo » 17 Dec 2012, 00:28

TheGhostOfZero wrote:Pro Tip: if anyone texts you or messages you on facebook about breaking up, they're probably a bad person. It should be AT THE VERY, VERY LEAST a phone call, and that's really only for relationships where you can't see each other face-to-face.
You want to know what's worse? Being broken up on by email, on Valentine's Day.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 17 Dec 2012, 02:17

Yes but with the e-mail you can pretend to the dumper that you never received the email because it went straight into your junk folder which gets swept clean actively.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Deedles » 17 Dec 2012, 03:41

TheGhostOfZero wrote:Pro Tip: if anyone texts you or messages you on facebook about breaking up, they're probably a bad person. It should be AT THE VERY, VERY LEAST a phone call, and that's really only for relationships where you can't see each other face-to-face.


I broke up with my ex(we were long distance) over IM, though this was because he and I was having yet another argument, among a long row of arguments, and something he said was just it, I'd had enough of him and I told him so.

He then called me and I confirmed that I meant what I said.

It was also around 3-4 in the morning, which is why I didn't call him (wake his family and stuff ... he obviously didn't think about that in return) that was partially the reason why we were arguing in the first place.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 17 Dec 2012, 05:18

My ex dumped me through a text claiming that I "couldn't spoil [her] like [she] deserves"
Last edited by KiteNeravar on 17 Dec 2012, 15:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Deedles » 17 Dec 2012, 05:36

Sounds like she did you a favour by getting out of your life.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Metcarfre » 17 Dec 2012, 15:50

KiteNeravar wrote:My ex dumped me through a text claiming that I "couldn't spoiler [her] like [she] deserves"

What couldn't you do? I NEED TO KNOW I DON'T CARE IF IT RUINS THE MOVIE
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 17 Dec 2012, 16:00

Yes she did. I should have noticed something was up when she threw a fit when I couldn't spend my 21st birthday with her. We'd only been dating for 20 days and I had made Plans with friends month before.

Also I fixed the spelling mistake
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 17 Dec 2012, 16:04

I'll be blunt here dude, but she sounds like someone you're better off not having in your life. :?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 17 Dec 2012, 16:21

I completly agree, part of the reason I don't talk to her anymore.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 17 Dec 2012, 17:49

Zero has much experience counselling people through break-ups. Two of my friends have been going long-distance on and off all year, but it keeps getting worse and worse. It's at the point where I've archived all of the emails I've been sent saying that they're breaking up "for good" 12 since June, and my earlier records were text messages that I had to delete (should've started archiving earlier) because of limited memory on my phone.
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dave-O_Boy » 20 Dec 2012, 02:47

So I haven't posted in this thread for a couple of years now, so I guess a bit of an update could be had.

Ever since a run of unfortunate relationships in my late teens/early 20s I've pretty much shied away from relationships and while I have attempted a few, my dread of things turning out poorly again, my lack of confidence, and the development of an intestinal condition has ultimately prevented me from being in one. I understand that now. Personally I don't think a romantic relationship is a needed goal for someone to have and would honestly rather not have such desires so I could just focus on things more important to me. But whatever part of me will not let it go regardless how much logic I throw at it.

Well, as some of you may know I recently moved from the East Coast of the US to Seattle Washington. It has been a real interesting experience for me and I have to say that my lack of confidence is certainly waning. I'm finding it easy to talk to attractive strangers and am generally feeling alright.

Here's a bit of funny story that happened to me today (well yesterday)
So since my Doctor's Office back in NJ wouldn't send my files over to my new Doctor's, I had to go down to the offices and sign a release form. No big deal. On the bus ride down there while transferring to a different bus I happened to chat with a rather attractive young gal for a couple minutes. We happened to waiting for different buses (as so often is the case), so I did get to talk with her for long. After the form filling out was complete I happened to start chatting with another attractive young gal while waiting for the bus. Again we were waiting for different buses.
On this next bus... Oh. It was the 49 going north. There was a rather drunk vagrant of sorts who decided that I looked like a talkative fellow and preceded to talk with me about Batman movies in the disjointed way a drunken homeless folk does. This would have been fine as I don't mind talking to colorful folk though he was a bit too touchy. He actually kissed the back of my hand when I got off the bus... *sigh*
Now, the 49 South bus happened to be the bus that the attractive girl from much earlier was waiting for. Lo and behold who gets on the now north heading bus? But that same gal. Oh fate you dastardly weaver of coincidence! I want to say "Hi. Remember me from earlier. How bizarre we come across each other again." But the rambles of the homeless man prevented that. She did smile back at least.

Ah well... If there is one thing that Seattle has no shortage of attractive ladies. Who knows! I'll be back down that way for my appointment proper next wedsnesday perhaps I'll come across one or both of those girls again, though I may avoid the 49 haha.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Metcarfre » 20 Dec 2012, 07:24

Dave-O_Boy wrote:I don't mind talking to color folk

Wait, what?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dave-O_Boy » 20 Dec 2012, 07:38

Metcarfre wrote:
Dave-O_Boy wrote:I don't mind talking to color folk

Wait, what?

WOAH! super typo! Let me go change that! It's meant to say "Colorful" as in bizarre or unusual.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Metcarfre » 20 Dec 2012, 07:41

Ahahahahahah I thought so.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Avistew » 20 Dec 2012, 13:23

Last night was my goodbye meal/Sean's birthday meal. I had a great time hanging out with friends/coworkers, and despite deciding I wouldn't drink... I did (everyone took a shot before the meal and I decided to join in, but after I had drunk it... well I'm lightweight, so at that point I was in "drink more!" mode and had two more shots, which is the most I've drunk this year).

Anyways, despite being pretty drunk, I maintained conversation (with people trying to troll me, which was entertaining). Then there was some hugging and it was decided that we'd try to get together again before I leave on the 2nd, so I hope it will happen.

Some of these people I haven't seen all that much while I was in the country (some others I've seen a lot), but tonight I really felt like they were my friends, and that makes me happy. I know I'll be away for months, and when I come back things might be different (they might not all be working together anymore for instance) but I'm feeling like I'll probably stay in touch with them either way, despite what Sean says.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Valkyrie-Lemons » 27 Dec 2012, 19:43

Okay, serious question guys:

I was talking to my mum who was asking about my love life, which is one of her favourite questions right after when I'm going to get a job, am I going to do a masters degree, and when I'm going to move out. She was asking why I've never had a girlfriend and I told her that I'm not really interested in having one.

So my question is, do you think it's weird that I've never been interested in being in any form of relationship? So including casual stuff and the like. Since I've never thought it to be strange, but I get the feeling that people I know are asking about it more or at least assume I'm either in a relationship or at least had some sort of experience. And I have 0 experience my friends, I mean I don't even know how you ask someone out. : /

So yeah...answer my query please guys. : )
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