GPLP: Cursed Crusade

[Graham]

Yay! Thank you.
It was expensive to set up, but very worthwhile. We each had our own mic and everything!

[Dave-O_Boy]

Nice! That's the way to do it.

[Graham]

New episode up!

[Foxmar]

I didn't think this game could get worse but it continues to prove me wrong. Also Brads new name for Estabon is perfect!

[CaptainSpam]

Stunlock: THE VIDEO GAME!

[Foxmar]

Stunlock: THE VIDEO GAME!

It's the Cursed Crusade drinking game! Take a drink every time Graham gets stunlocked!

[CaptainSpam]

Stunlock: THE VIDEO GAME!

It's the Cursed Crusade drinking game! Take a drink every time Graham gets stunlocked!

Take another every time the only way Graham wins a fight is by stunlocking!

[Foxmar]

Stunlock: THE VIDEO GAME!

It's the Cursed Crusade drinking game! Take a drink every time Graham gets stunlocked!

Take another every time the only way Graham wins a fight is by stunlocking!

Jonny would be a master at this drinking game.

[CaptainSpam]

Jonny would be a master at this drinking game.

So this one time, me and my main homeslice, Esteban Novemberfries, which is what we called him on account of how much my main homeslice likes fries and all? This one time, we were out in ancient Constantinople, which I'll point out, wasn't Istanbul yet, which really hurt the J-Man's chances with the ladies, because I once had a date there, but I kept looking for Istanbul, and it wasn't there yet.

So we were just walking around the Holy Land on a crusade, which is what we called it when the J-Man and his homeslice went cruising for girls, which is not, confusingly enough, what you do in the basement bathroom of UVic. Then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by these demon guys and the whole place was on fire! And then everything started burning. I looked at my Novemberfries, and he was burning and a demon, too, but I will note, NOT on fire, because not even the J-Man's homeslice can start a party up that fast.

We picked up stuff on the ground, like axes and maces and broken crucifixes and stuff, and we just started hitting the demons, a set of which did not include each other, as I could tell Esteban apart once he DID get on fire, because this party was just getting started when we walked in. And the more and more we hit the demons, the less they could hit us back. And that's when I blacked out.

[Foxmar]

So is this the plot for Jonny 6? Cause I would watch that.

[Under_Score]

Well, Jonny is the king of a nation, right? If he wanted, he could go cruise-ading whenever.

[iamafish]

I've actually read the account of Geoffrey of Villehardouin's account of the fourth crusade, which is really interesting by the way, and I have to say that this game, demons, Styrofoam architecture and spainards/mexicans aside, is surprisingly historically accurate. Do love how, no matter how hard the crusaders try, they can't seem to actually get to Jerusalem, so they just decide to create a Latin kingdom in Constantinople instead. I mean, Constantinople and Jerusalem are kind of the same, right?

[Utilitarian]

"Hey Esteban... could you give me a h" "BE RIGHT THERE HOMBRE!!"

I feel like the particularily forceful shouting that Esteban does during combat is the perfect audio representation of capslock

[Foxmar]

Yay! The story of Denz and Esteban "Julian fries" Noviembre adventures in stunlock land continues!

[Snowman]

After you watching the podcast I can not help but notice the audio improvement and laughed a few times about having such a nice set up for such a terrible game.

[Graham]

NEW EPISODE!

[ecks]

To be fair, Hoolio Iglesias is known for his legendary strength, not his legendary subtlety.

[CaptainSpam]

First, it seemed like a pretty mediocre yet inoffensive brawler themed after the crusades.

Then, it got worse and worse. The deranged, claustrophobic camera angles. The repetitive combat. The difficult-to-grok gameplay mechanics. The hilarious physics engine. Yes, it was a bad game, but still, it seemed a victim of bad playtesting, or incompetent design, or something similarly forgivable.

Now? Now it's making dated pop culture references.

No, scratch that.

It's FORCING dated pop culture references.

Now it's crossing that line between incompetence and malice.

[Foxmar]

I can forgive allot of things about this game. But dated pop culture references, really? No I will not tolerate this games insolence anymore!

[Graham]

To be fair, the game came out in... oh wait, late 2011.

So still FIVE FULL YEARS LATER THAN 300 DID.

UGH.

[ecks]

Late 2011? Wow, this game must have been held up quite a while in extensive and thorough QA testing. Oh wait...

To be clear, to be fair wasn't meant to suggest you were being unfair in face-palming there, more to indicate the words that followed weren't meant to be taken seriously.

[WAYF]

I found the 300 joke hilarious, if wildly out of place. And unnecessary. And poorly executed.
Okay, so it wasn't that funny, but it was still rather satisfying seeing the guy kicked into the fire.
Definitely worth taking a moment over.

[jello]

I literally laughed out loud at that 300 joke. Not because it was actually funny, but because it was so bad in so many ways. Hilarious.

[DSmaster21]

Hasta Luego is See you later

[Spacecarl]

I am so happy to see these continue, but there is one thing that I keep noticing. When you are in the skill up menus I see a third option to hit Y for a Mastering The Curse thing? It just struck me that I don't remember you guys checking that out and I couldn't find anything about it online due to this games overwhelming popularity.

Keep these coming! Seeing a new one always brightens my day!