Double Or Nothing: 2013, 200 Movies, 100 Words (Complete!)

[Yaxley]

I'm just a fan of any review that works in the word "jagoff".

[King Kool]

Oh, I used that twice, didn't I?

I used to be a big fan of the word "bastard." Maybe I need to bring that to the forefront.

[King Kool]

Movie 19: Soul Man - There's one scene in Soul Man that really works. You know that scene in comedies where someone living two lives has two people that he's been dishonest with in the same place? This time, there's three parties. It's quite manic and funny. I wish more of the movie was like that, but it's not. Apparently altering your skin color to get a minority scholarship isn't THAT much trouble. This isn't an unsalvageable idea, but this movie needed to be more something; offensive, insightful, heartfelt. As James Earl Jones said, "If you have to interrupt my class, at least be funny!"

For more, here's the Toast Review: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BXRO7kxwyQ

[King Kool]

Movie 20: Corpse Bride - Ever see Cats Don't Dance? It's set in the past, runs barely eighty minutes, and still has time for songs. It's gloriously animated, but doesn't build up to much. That's Corpse Bride right there. I would suspect this movie was edited down, but why? They made room for four songs (they're good, not great). The animation is fantastic, the story is sweet, but nothing HAPPENS, and what happens is almost too "precious" like the Peter Lorre worm. And the way the utterly transparent villain dies might be the lamest villain death ever. But I can't hate me some stop motion.

[Mara Kalat]

I got the exact same impression with Corpse Bride!
It hints at this big reveal with who the titular character actually was several times and simply fails to follow up on it.

If your to-watch list is running low, here are a few recommendations that I'd love for you to tackle. Of course only the ones you haven't seen yet, 200 is brave enough as it is .

• Howl's Moving Castle / Hauru no ugoku shiro
• Appleseed (please don't make the mistake of picking up the 1988 OVA of the same name, it's a CG movie from 2004).
• Lucky Number Slevin (It has Morgan Freeman vs. Ben Kingsley!)

Still following this with great interest regardless of whether you actually do these, so feel free to ignore them if they're not your thing

Mara.

[King Kool]

Movie 21: Watermelon Man - A white man awakens to discover he's become black overnight. Needless to say, this wreaks havoc on his family life and his opinions of white supremacy. I don't know if it's smart or silly that everyone still recognizes him. Jeff, the main character, is such an unfunny unwelcome boor (on purpose) at the start, I was just glad this change chilled him out. I have trouble digesting older movies I don't have context for, especially those that deals overtly with racism. Though the racists are surprisingly eager to make deals... This is a weird one. Still glad I saw it.

Movie 22: Warm Bodies Sometimes, movies with narration or internalization are trying to cover some editing gap. "Adaptation" is an exception; so is this. How else can R, a lovelorn zombie, communicate? (R is the main character's name; by the end, I knew what it stood for). As it turns out, quite well, as love helps a zombie feels more human. This could've turned schmaltzy or absurd, but we see a couple in unusual circumstances gently falling in love as they learn to communicate more vividly. Some people will puke at this movie's optimism (true love will defeat zombies?), but I really liked it.

Movie 23: Identity Thief - Due Date is still fucking terrible, but I liked bits of it. It's protagonist was oblivious, not an unrepentant manipulative sociopath. They still want their cake by having the emotional redemption that couldn't happen if she really was this rotten. She's on course to become the new Ken Jeong. Like Due Date, everyone in the world is a cruel thoughtless asshole. This is not funny. This movie is for bitter losers who laugh when they see someone act how they wish they could in a bad situation or job. The closest I've come to walking out of anything in YEARS.

[Drecon]

Nice project. I've recently started a project to watch as many movies as I can and I must say that I haven't regretted any of them yet.

As for suggestions:
Primer - A Movie that is both about engineering and time travel. Starts out a bit slow but definitely worth the watch )and rewatch actually. Easily my favorite film of all time.

[King Kool]

Already seen it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxZ2A0FQwOQ

[King Kool]

Movie 23: Nick of Time - Johnny Depp is targeted randomly by Christopher Walken who kidnaps his daughter and orders him to kill a politician. Depp proceeds to take every concievable opportunity to get out, but at every turn, Walken appears out of nowhere to stop him. I finally said, "Why don't YOU just kill her yourself?" There's a baffling dream sequence at the halfway point (the commercials used this dishonestly). The last half is better; it matures into a decent thriller with other unorthodox characters. Half an OK movie is better than some movies, and it's got a good final hit. I'd rent Collateral instead.

[Ptangmatik]

Still not got around to 'Life of Brian', the movie so funny it was banned in Norway?

Go on, you know you want to.

[Master Gunner]

And you should do so soon, you've fallen a full 2% behind the orbit of this planet.

[King Kool]

Movie 24: Escape from Planet Earth - Rainmaker Studios makes Barbie movies. Based on this, they are NOT ready for prime time. I have a suspicion that this movie was hacked to pieces in the editing. At the end, someone reveals to a villain that the other villain has betrayed them. At first, they're upset; moments later, they get right back to their evil plan. WHY?! It's just tedious and criminally uninspired (the main aliens are somehow LESS alien than Paul with Seth Rogen). There's no story to tell here, just money to be made. It's probably the most cynical kid's movie I've seen since Space Jam.

Movie 25: The Associate - Who saw Simone? This movie is almost structurally identical. Someone fed up with the system they're working tirelessly in makes up a fictional person, and it gets out of hand. Where Simone dropped the ball, here, it works better. Yeah, if everyone talked about someone I never saw, I'd get suspicious MUCH earlier, and it might be silly that Whoopi Goldberg's elderly man makeup actually fools the naked eye, but at least she only does it when she absolutely has NO other choice. I like this ending better than Simone, too. Call me crazy, but I love a good farce.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

On the plus side, 1/8th of the way through...

[Keab42]

25 already that's damn impressive. My cinema-going has been a bit lax, I've only seen 4 films so far. I just posted up my detailed review of Die Hard 5 on my Tumblr.

[King Kool]

Movie 26: White Chicks - I'm getting diminishing returns in my Wayans movies. The makeup that transforms Wayans into women is less forgivable than the effects in Little Man. They knew it wasn't convincing on set. Furthermore, there's a difference between disguising yourself and disguising yourself as someone else SPECIFICALLY. If people are going to be fooled, why do we need to do the whole "undercover cop" thing we've seen a million times? Why does one of them pretend also to be a famous basketball player and seduce her at that guy's house? My coworker loves comedies, "The stupider the better." He loves this one.

Movie 27: A Good Day To Die Hard - John McClane goes to Budapest (pretending to be Russia) because it's cheaper to shoot movies there. He finds his son entangled in a deal for nuclear material, so he must bicker with him endlessly and fruitlessly. They get into a car chase longer than the Matrix Reloaded, except boring. McClane rolls his car multiple times and acts like he bit his tongue. They moves from setpiece to setpiece, where bullets refuse to touch him and radiation is easily dealt with. A franchise born defying the action cliches of the eighties now delights in swimming in them. I hope it drowns.

[Master Gunner]

I thought it was ridiculous when Live Free or Die Hard was announced, sadly it appears to still be the case. I understand why studios like to stick movies into existing franchises, but that doesn't make it any less of a shame to see the franchise been dragged through the mud like this.

[King Kool]

Movie 28: Phantom - A movie about the Cold War exclusively from the Russian perspective (though with some sympathy towards the American view), an old diesel submarine makes its last mission before being sold to China. Two new crewmembers seem to have something underhanded planned. The plot is darn similar to one submarine video game (though that’s how I knew the vocabulary). There are no Russian accents to trip over (though the writing has that “translated” feel). The movie feels perfunctory. I liked it, but I wasn’t thrilled or invested. I’m going to find a submarine movie that I really like.

Movie 29: Snitch - This isn’t an action movie. This is a melodrama about the underworld of drugs and justice. Dwayne Johnson is supposed to be a regular father and not Liam Neeson in Taken even though he’s THE ROCK; he might be miscast, but he’s quite effective. When the movie enters almost apoplectic drama at the end of the second act, I thought, “Is this Courageous of Fireproof?” It has the sincerest of intentions, and could be much worse, but the factoid they end the movie with will leave a greater impact on you than the rest of the film.

Movie 30: Muppet Treasure Island - The nature of this movie interests me more than the film itself. Muppets hang from swings and swim in boats floating in water. I’ve always loved what a colossal hassle everything in a Muppet movie looks like. I can never hate the Muppets (especially not with Tim Curry), but like with Corpse Bride, the songs just come and go (I really didn’t like the protagonist’s singing). Not much happens for the first half, and then the film gets going. Why are Gonzo and Rizzo the stars of THIS one, too? They musta been hot in the nineties.

Rewatched: Monsters vs. Aliens. I still like it. It's flawed as hell, but Susan still charms the shit out of me.

Here's something about Monsters Vs. Aliens that's always intrigued me. When she first grows to giant size, she was in her wedding dress, and she wakes up and she's in a gray jumpsuit. When she gets captured by the villain, she's in a form-fitting leotard with galaxies on it.

So... who changed her clothes? The alien thing, I can kinda understand, but... did they fight over who got to dress the giant woman?

[JustAName]

(Muppet Treasure Island is the best, nothing can change that. >.>)

[KiteNeravar]

Muppet treasure island is the best.

As for suggestions
Wristcutters: A Love Story (black comedy)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Fanboys
Th Goonies
Hocus Pocus

[Metcarfre]

I can't hear you guys over the sound of A Muppet Christmas Carol being the best.

[King Kool]

I want to watch that for Fourthright, but it's not on Netflix.

[Keab42]

Muppet treasure island is the best.

As for suggestions
Wristcutters: A Love Story (black comedy)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Fanboys
Th Goonies
Hocus Pocus

Perks was good.

Have you thought about trying to do any of the Oscars Best Picture nominees that you might have skipped over?

[Thysane]

Loving this thread. I'll jut go ahead and throw a suggestion in the hat: if you have time for the cinema, go see Stoker. I'd be interested to see what you think of it.

[Drinnik]

I'm gonna throw a couple of films out for you, if you've seen them, sorry;

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Bridesmaids
Mean Girls
Date Night
The Iron Lady
Eve's Bayou

[King Kool]

Movie 31: The Great Muppet Caper - Maybe it's the wholesome Muppets getting involved in a diamond heist, jail, intrigue, breaking and entering... all while copiously breaking the fourth wall... maybe this ones more my speed than Treasure Island. I think I even liked the songs better. This movie even deals with the Muppets as actors a few times (it has the audacity to "cast" Fozzie and Kermit as brothers, with a picture of their mutant father as a throwaway gag). I find it hard to pin down exactly why I liked this one so much. Maybe it's John Cleese's cameo. Anyway, I laughed a whole lot.

Movie 32: The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland - I vastly underestimated the audience this movie was targeted at. I thought it might explore the notion that Elmo is also a grouch, but the only one who personifies love instead of nastiness, unpleasantness, etc. That's not explored. Elmo has to find his blankey. Elmo talks to the audience, asks for help making noises, Bert and Ernie stop the film to assure the audience everything will be OK. This is for ages two to five. And yet, I was still disappointed the villian didn't learn a lesson. He just buckled when a friend threatened to stop being friends. Utterly harmless.

Movie 33: Jack the Giant Slayer - I'm not sure this is worse than Hansel and Gretel, but it cost four times as much. Perhaps unfair, but... this movie bored the crap out of me. There was only one moment of genuine wonder in this movie crammed with CGI. At one point, a distant timber line erupts with dozens of marching giants. That's the only time the revolting and underwhelming CGI giants really feel BIG. The end of the second act unravels slightly differently than I expected (and the use of the sequestered MacGuffin), but it's so damn grim. At least Hansel occasinally TRIED to be funny.

Movie 34: Oz the Great and Powerful - Sam Raimi directs in the same way an ax makes toothpicks. This is probably the most I've liked his direction, but he still has sudden overamped emotions, editing that feels a little... off (not sure how to describe it), women screaming, and goddamned JUMP SCARES. Come on, Raimi. That's cheap and you know it. Despite a rocky plot that I doubt would withstand any scrutiny, it has a satisfying climax that takes FAR too long to get there. It's the most colorful movie since Speed Racer, and it's CGI is more convincing than Jack, but none of this is necessary.

I think I'm falling a little bit behind. I've been sick this week, so I haven't been in the mood to see anything.