Wish Corrupting Game

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Granted, it's all written in Wingdings in a paper format.

I wish my keyboard didn't get so cold.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted. I've set it on fire.

I wish i could crochet

[Kapol]

Granted. You've exchanged your ability to read with the ability to crochet.

I wish that this wish won't be corrupted.

[Keab42]

Granted but the ensuing causality paradox renders it as if it were never granted in the first place.

I wish that Earth had 28-hour days to better fit with my sleep cycle.

[Kapol]

Granted, but now there are only 313 days in the year, and your sleep cycle quickly gets messed up by the way days now occur. On the plus side, no more leap years!

I wish that this wish would create a paradox which causes the first wish to occur while this wish does not.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Granted. A side-effect to this paradox is to cause the first wish to become "I wish for a swarm of locusts to materialise into my kitchen".

I wish I had friends

[Elomin Sha]

Wish granted. You had friends. They are dead.

I wish that when I lift my arms above my head then throw them down things would explode.

[Lorithad]

Granted. The explosions that form are large enough to destroy a city block, and you die the first time you try your new found power.

I wish to be able to control the size of any given explosion in real time.

[Gap Filler]

Granted. To use this power you must be at the epicentre of any blast.

I wish to groove.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted, I've dug one in your skull.

I wish I could still remember all that maths I had to know to pass my degree

[Lorithad]

Granted. However, upon obtaining your degree, you realise it was a waste of time, money, and energy. You spend the rest of your days serving coffee at starbucks.


I wish for more wishes.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted, but each extra wish can only be another wish for more wishes which again, can only be wishes for more wishes, and so on.

I wish I didn't need glasses

[Gap Filler]

Granted. Doesn't blindness rock?

I wish I weren't currently alive with maggots.

[Dutch guy]

Granted, you are not alive

I wish I had the budget to just buy a new handbow right now

[Mara Kalat]

Granted, the money was an advance payment and you are now contractually obligated to hunt down your loved ones.

I wish the world's financial inequality would disappear.

Mara.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Granted. Everyone classified as 'poor' has been murdered.

I wish I was professionally employed to blow stuff up

[plummeting_sloth]

Done. You are tasked with blowing up everything and everyone you've ever loved. Forever.

I wish I had about three fiddy.

[DSmaster21]

Granted. You have $3.50.

I wish I never had to do homework again.

[Lorithad]

Granted. You suddenly find yourself advanced in years to the point where you are no longer obligated to attend an educational institution. However, now you have no diploma, and lack the basic skills to succeed in the real world. You live an incredibly depressing life from then on, never knowing where your next meal will come from.


I wish I didn't feel compelled to actually put thought into how to corrupt peoples wishes.

[leapy]

Granted, you're brain dead.

I wish my boss would die, or just otherwise fuck off.

[nicholasmc1]

Granted now you are the boss and your employies want you dead, you get assassinated and the cycle goes on.

I wish this bottle of coke was 100% larger...

[DSmaster21]

Granted this bottle has also been drunk out of by whatever disgusts you the most.

I wish that my DM was better.

[ex-Lurker]

Granted, your DM is now an expert in fucking up.

I wish for a pool of jello.

[Lorithad]

Granted. Your pool of jello comes infested with ants.

I wish other people put more thought into corrupting my wishes in interesting and unique ways.

[Ptangmatik]

Granted. We put in so much thought that reality becomes distorted to the point where your wishes become genuinely corrupted in real life. You barely escape your first two attempts to wish your life better and end up scraping out a squalid existence in a ditch under a rotting tree, afraid to think a conscious thought lest you accidentally wish to improve your lot and destroy the planet. Eventually you go stark staring insane from the effort of avoiding thinking, gnaw off your own legs and drown in the subsequent pool of your own piss and blood.

I wish for icecream