The Big Relationship Thread

[KiteNeravar]

They are what OkCupid decides as unacceptable.
One was "Would you get upset if your girlfriend/boyfriend flirted in front of you?"

and one was

"How much do you go "clubbing" (out dancing in bars)?"

[2stepz]

Just to be clear - OKC doesn't determine 'unacceptable.' Unacceptable means that your answer doesn't meet what the other individual expects from their SO or what you'd expect from a SO doesn't agree with their answer, or both. That's why each question has two sections... what is your answer, and what answers would you accept. It just means your answers didn't match, so that item is flagged for your review. OKC isn't 'judging' you.

[KiteNeravar]

OKC does list them under the heading "acceptable answers" though, that is all I was clarifying.

[Laurnil]

(Okay...I know what you're talking about, but as an Okie, I have to do this)

What's this gotta do with Oklahoma City?

[KiteNeravar]

I had to think about that for a minute, well played

[Bebop Man]

Eight months in a relationship and not a single fight, woo.

[Tycherin]

Wait, don't - aw, now you've jinxed it!

[Bebop Man]

I was talking about this earlier today with my girlfriend anyway. But it's actually been on my mind for a few months now. Ever since my high school dating experience I'm mentalized to expect "fight number one" around the third to fourth month of dating.

[viscomica]

Woohoo! (high fives Bebop)

[My pseudonym is Ix]

Reading the second comment without having read the first gave the impression that you were a delayed-reaction Scott Pilgrim...

[Bebop Man]

If only!

[Fezzul]

Speaking of which, Bebop, I'm the first evil ex you have to fight. Sorry to bring it up here, but I can't afford the air-fare to come and fight you in person. Let me know how you want to go about this.

[Bebop Man]

Suppose I just skim over your post

[The Jester]

So I went and asked that cute Irish girl who works at the old-fashioned sweet shop if she wants to hang out sometime. It was kinda scary, even though it was not like "asking her out", just asking if she'd like us to get to know one another.

She told me very quickly that she has a boyfriend, and so I did my best to clarify (whilst rather flustered because I was already out of my comfort-zone, socially speaking) that I was just after making a new friend.

I came away with her number, and she has mine. We've exchanged a few texts, and I think we may be meeting up on Sunday, but it's a little nebulous at the moment. Still, I was brave and I think I may have made a new friend.

[viscomica]

Suppose I just skim over your post

Soooo Scott Pilgrim

[viscomica]

So I went and asked that cute Irish girl who works at the old-fashioned sweet shop if she wants to hang out sometime. It was kinda scary, even though it was not like "asking her out", just asking if she'd like us to get to know one another.

She told me very quickly that she has a boyfriend, and so I did my best to clarify (whilst rather flustered because I was already out of my comfort-zone, socially speaking) that I was just after making a new friend.

I came away with her number, and she has mine. We've exchanged a few texts, and I think we may be meeting up on Sunday, but it's a little nebulous at the moment. Still, I was brave and I think I may have made a new friend.

Hmm.... shady!

So long as you know what you're getting into... Good luck, make new friends, little grasshopper.

[Bebop Man]

What's so shady about asking a girl out, ya cynical panda.

[The Jester]

I wasn't even asking her out, just asking if she'd like to spend some time getting to know one another.

Or is there something else that strikes you as shady?

[viscomica]

Hey! I'm not a cynical panda! I'm just saying, you think she's cute, you were nervous while not-asking her out ... I think it's cool to make friends, obviously, just, y'know, don't get in too deep? But yeah, sorry, haha, I was way out of line. At any rate, have fun making new friends

[The Jester]

What do you mean by "don't get in too deep"?

[viscomica]

Oh, nothing, it meant try not to get too invested in her or lead her on. Again, sorry if I sounded like an elderly hipster panda who has a problem when anyone does anything Maybe it's because the situation seemed so foreign to me! Again, my apologies.

[The Jester]

I was totally not going to try and lead her on and I have gotten much, much better at not getting myself too invested in an idea of a relationship (as opposed to the reality that would be, even were the other party interested). In any case, I'm trying to make it a standard personal policy not to get into a relationship with someone I don't know really, really well already.

My last relationship was a jump-first-look-later, rushed thing and it left me completely burnt out and exhausted. I'm still recovering, and it made me promise myself to spend a whole hell of a long time getting to know any potential new partners before thinking seriously of a relationship with them, with a preference for organic growth of a new relationship from a long friendship that features a quantity of mutual attraction.


I'm just looking for friends at the moment, because for various reasons I don't really have many around me here, and for example last week when I found out that my ex was already in a new relationship (less than a week after our breakup) I would have really liked to text a friend and say "Hey, do you wanna hang out? I feel like I need some company", but couldn't because the few people I know here were all busy.

[viscomica]

I was totally not going to try and lead her on and I have gotten much, much better at not getting myself too invested in an idea of a relationship (as opposed to the reality that would be, even were the other party interested). In any case, I'm trying to make it a standard personal policy not to get into a relationship with someone I don't know really, really well already.

My last relationship was a jump-first-look-later, rushed thing and it left me completely burnt out and exhausted. I'm still recovering, and it made me promise myself to spend a whole hell of a long time getting to know any potential new partners before thinking seriously of a relationship with them, with a preference for organic growth of a new relationship from a long friendship that features a quantity of mutual attraction.


I'm just looking for friends at the moment, because for various reasons I don't really have many around me here, and for example last week when I found out that my ex was already in a new relationship (less than a week after our breakup) I would have really liked to text a friend and say "Hey, do you wanna hang out? I feel like I need some company", but couldn't because the few people I know here were all busy.

Sorry about that! I was just throwing my two cents.

[KiteNeravar]

So small snag in the OkCupid thing, turns out I forgot to change my location (I now live about 200 miles away) although I plan to move back to that area as soon as I find a full time job. Also the girl I was going to message hasn't been on in about 3 months

[Bebop Man]

That sucks. It's a good idea to adjust filters so you start out checking Online Right Now profiles at close vicinity.