Collaborative Sexy Romance Assassin Teacher Novel...Thingy

[Laurnil]

Alright, yet another thread idea that came out of the sex thread. We're inventive people over there. But, we decided to write a collaborative romance novel, or at least some people were like, "yea, that sounds like fun." Then, people kept interrupting it, so it was suggested that we give it its own thread.

Rules: 1) No more than one person can die within 24 hours. 2) If you're writing more than 100 words, you're writing too much. Stop it. 3) Have fun!

Here's what we wrote so far.

Laurnil:

Evelyn was walking down the avenue in the cold, wet night. She loved nights like this. They gave her a thrill when the wind would whip up her skirt and she could feel the cold flirt with her inner thighs. It made her feel dangerous; ironic since she also happened to be an assassin.

Amake:

A trained assassin playing in the rain in the middle of a job, they'd get a big laugh back at the academy if they knew. Not that they would know. Evelyn had always been five steps ahead of her teachers, and here she was ten steps behind the last one and he didn't even know anything had happened to the rest of them, yet.

Elomin Sha:

Ki ki ki, ma ma ma.
Ki ki ki, ma ma ma.

Hepheastus:

The strange call seemed to echo out of nowhere, rising with the wind to fill the narrow avenue, it's cry piercing her and causing her heart to skip a beat. Her target, just out of reach, turned slowly. Their eyes briefly met as he gave her a cold, knowing smile before turning away once more. Something was very wrong

Laurnil:


She darted into an alley. Something was wrong and she needed to get out of there, quick. She spun and wedged herself between two dumpsters. This was a hell of a difference from how she felt just a minute ago. Then, she heard it.

"Here, pretty kitty. It seems I've found you at last."

It was the voice of her mark.

Hepheastus:

Her muscles were frozen in fear, every sensation was multiplied tenfold in the encompassing gloom of her hiding spot. Her long dark hair, made lank and limp by the rain was tickling her neck. Her breath came in shuddering gasps as she willed herself to calm, then she saw the edge of a shadow appear from where she had come

Laurnil:

"Oh, pretty kitty, I know what you're doing and you don't have to fear me."

He had been her favorite teacher at the academy. His dark hair and emerald eyes would always standout in her memory. She had a crush on him, like all the girls did, but he would focus those piercing eyes directly on her whenever he was lecturing. She hated that she had to kill him. That's why she left him for last. But, it was her job and she was a professional.

Fayili:

"Why don't you come out of there nice and slow?"

Her stomach lurched as she looked directly into his eyes, seeing the tantalizing promise and the obvious danger there. He wouldn't let her escape, she knew. Not alive. But then... wasn't it her job to catch him?

Elomin Sha:

How useful the camouflaged net was going to be now?

Laurnil:

Evelyn adjusted herself silently and positioned her arm to her back where she grasped the hilt of the sword she had tucked under her jacket. This might not be ideal, but she had the skills to kill him. He was just a teacher, albeit a hot teacher, after all.

"I'm NOT going to kill you. Not after I recommended you to the assassins guild."

Evelyn was shocked.


Alright...continue with the story as you will.

[Elomin Sha]

By the taser's 50,000 volts.

[Laurnil]

Evelyn blacked out. She didn't see who tazed her, but she could of sworn she heard Evan Pierce, her former teacher, say, "It's alright. I'll take care of you."

She woke up groggy and found herself in what appeared to be a large hotel suite.

[Bebop Man]

As she regained her concience, it became clear she wasn't "groggy in a large hotel suite", but rather, had grog in a mug and was wearing a large hotel suit - a bellhop's. What was she doing, dressed as a bellhop? Who had changed her clothes? More importantly, why was she drinking grog?

[Duckay]

Her internal reverie was broken by the shrill voice of a woman. "Boy! Boy! I don't have all day! Come here at once!"

It took her a moment to realize that 'boy' was referring to her. She looked over the woman, a tall figure decked out in jewels and fur, tempted to say something back. Then, she saw it.

[Laurnil]

A photo tucking out of her uniform pocket. It was a photo of that shrill woman with the word "Target" written on it.

So, she was supposed to kill this women? Why? Did the guild want her to kill her? Did Evan Pierce? Was she going to get paid for killing this woman?

But, after the woman continued to shrillingly call at her like she was a child, she felt just annoyed enough to do it for free.

[Duckay]

Evelyn scowled darkly, but in the barest of moments, her expression had transformed entirely into one of cheerful, if dim, helpfulness. "Sorry, ma'am. Begging your pardon, ma'am. Let me help you to your room, ma'am." Sure, she was laying it on a little thick, but it seemed the easiest path to being alone with the shrill woman.

She bent down to pick up the woman's suitcases, and nearly toppled over. What the hell was in there? Bricks?

[LogicSword]

As she heaved the cases up, they tore open, spilling their contents onto the floor.

"You useless boy!" Shrieked the woman. "Pick them up now!"

Evelyn bent down to pick them up, but was shocked by what she saw. The contents of the suitcase was...

[Duckay]

Cash.

At least a hundred rolled stacks, each made up of hundred dollar bills. The shrill woman scrambled to clean it up, once it was clear Evelyn was not going to help, loudly cursing all the while. Evelyn's head whipped around, but no one else had apparently taken any notice.

[Laurnil]

Well, Evelyn knew where she was going to get paid for this hit. So, she snatched a few dry cleaner bags from behind a desk nearby and quickly said, "I apologize, ma'am. It was entirely my fault. Here, let's get this up to your room in these bags and when I'm done taking them to your room, I will make sure that management replaces these bags."

"You're damn right you're going to replace my bags!"

[Timelady]

Shouted a tiny, squeaky voice coming from the center of one of the stacks of money. Evelyn's head whipped around, confused. The woman started stuffing money into the dry cleaning bags, to reveal...

[Bebop Man]

A blancmange. Evelyn now knew the grog she was sipping had been drugged. But it tasted so good. And the blancmange was so cute.

[Laurnil]

Being in an altered state was not going to prevent Evelyn from killing this obnoxious woman and getting the hell out of this hotel. She finished shoving the money in the bags, ushered the woman into the elevator, and got a hold of all the bags.

"What room, ma'am"

"Suite 1010"

She pushed the button for the 10th floor as a flying pumpkin started to whisper into her ear.

[Elomin Sha]

"The contract of the bones has been sealed."

[LogicSword]

"So..." Started the lady. "even though you knew I was your target, you haven't made your move yet. Tell me, little Evelyn," she turned round, revealing her sparkling emerald eyes, "Why is that?"

[Timelady]

"The contract of the bones has been sealed," intoned the skeletally thin man in the leather jacket standing in a shadowy corner of the lobby, as the doors on the elevator shut silently, whispering both women up to the tenth floor and their doom.

((Bah, ninja'd by LogicSword! ))

[Duckay]

The two voices made Evelyn's head swim, but she cleared her throat and retorted in a strong, stiff voice, "Well, surely you don't want me to do it?"

The obnoxious woman just smiled.

[Jamfalcon]

"Of course I don't," she said, yet the tone in her voice indicated that perhaps, for some reason, she did.

Evelyn wondered if the evening's bizarre turn of events was a sign of her own growing madness, or if she had stumbled onto something much bigger than she was expecting. Did this woman have some sort of ulterior motive? Of course, there had always been the rumours of blood magic in this town, but Evelyn had always dismissed them as nonsense.

[ex-Lurker]

The elevator opened, revealing a giant party, there was several pink elephants, a red puffball and, for some reason, a cow with a monocle beating a sentient butt with a mailbox.

[Duckay]

Evelyn's hand flew to her head as the dizziness overcame her.

When she woke up, there was dried vomit down her front, and she was on a cold floor on a small room she couldn't recognize.

[Hepheastus]

Slowly, with a great protest from her aching muscles, she pulled herself to her feet. Her head was spinning, pounding agony in her temple as the world faded in and out of focus. The powerful white lights illuminating the room were blinding her. She was confused, alone and unarmed and more than a little terrified. Her heart almost froze in fear when she hear

"Oh, Pretty Kitty, I told you not to be afraid"

[Elomin Sha]

Pointing at herself she yelled. "KITTY!"

[Duckay]

It was an old superstition, and the only time she ever let herself believe it under normal circumstances was at 2 in the morning, but now it seemed to work. She could feel some of her confusion dissipating as a figure appeared before her - a figure who had been, until now, obscured by the light.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

(Seriously Laurnil, did you expect anything other than total derailment from this thread?)

[LogicSword]

The figure unsheathed his weapon.