The Big Relationship Thread

[Darkobra]

Definitely expand your knowledge topics. I met a guy a month or two ago who was quite interesting and knew a lot of what I do. He probably knows more and hasn't shown that yet. And he starts to ask me a few questions! I answer them and he goes "THANK GOD! SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS!"

Go on a QI marathon basically! Then start swirling a martini glass and spout a fact out every half hour. If she's sick of you, she's the one.

... At least mine's sick of me.

"Did you know..."
"Stop."
"... that a duck's penis..."
"I knew it'd be penis related."
"... is shaped like a corkscrew?"
"I don't even want to know."
"I mean it just seems like a terrible way to open a wine bottle!"
"... WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?!"

[Bebop Man]

I thought those were pigs? Or am I getting mixed with their tails?

[Lyinginbedmon]

Pigs have curly tails according to popular depictions, but ducks have corkscrew penises to clear out competing sperm and navigate the female duck's vagina maze.

[Darkobra]

There was a second animal. Don't know if it's pigs too. I know ducks is one of them.

[Prospero101]

In fairness, my body of knowledge is a fair bit broader than that, but it is mostly historical in nature.

[Elomin Sha]

Pigs have corkscrew penis.

[Darkobra]

That would explain the stripes on bacon rashers.

[Prospero101]

The fact that my request for relationship advice led immediately to discussions of the penile anatomy of pigs and mallards does not bode well for my prospects.

[Darkobra]

I am willing to bet I can steer ANY topic to penis-related discussion! It's my super power.

"You want laser eyes?"
"Nah... How about...?"

[Avistew]

If I recall, not only are duck penises corkscrew shaped, but the female vaginas are shaped the opposite way, that is also a corkscrew but going in the other direction, making them the least likely species to experience rape, because the female needs to be willing for the whole thing to happen anyways.

I also remember seeing a video where they showed a duck and various glass recipients with weird shapes and showed how long it takes the penis to deploy inside them. It was one of those super-weird-yet-fascinating videos.

[Master Gunner]

Least likely to be impregnated by rape. As I recall, ducks experience/commit sexual assault fairly regularly, which is what caused the whole vagina/penis situation in the first place.

[Bebop Man]

Apparently ducks and geese are a typically rapist species. Dolphins too.

[Darkobra]

And rabbits.

[Bebop Man]

[Elomin Sha]

Bugs Bunny is a hare, not a rabbit.

[Bebop Man]

Doesn't Elmer hunt "wabbits"?

[Elomin Sha]

Buggs called him Nimrod.
But because Americans didn't know Nimrod was a hunter and he was being called it sarcastically they thought it meant idiot.

[Bebop Man]

Hares live above ground, rabbits tunnel. The list of pros and cons goes on. He doesn't seem to be specifically identified as a hare or a rabbit. His intro short was A Wild Hare, followed by Elmer's Pet Rabbit, Hiawatha's Rabbit Hunt and Tortoise Beats Hare. I think he's whatever you want him to be. And for what it's worth Elmer is repeatedly hunting wabbits, isn't he?

[Elomin Sha]

You dare question Lord Stephen Fry and QI? Have at ye!

[poopintheairtonight]

Apparently ducks and geese are a typically rapist species. Dolphins too.

Penguins as well. Straight up don't trust large birds yo.

[viscomica]

So this is what it has come down to. We're talking about birds and bunnies on the big relationship thread.
Well done LRR, chapeau!

[poopintheairtonight]

Well I'd talk about my relationship, but something would have to happen in my relationship.

[Darkobra]

There's still a bird and some bunnies involved in my relationship too!

[viscomica]

The bird is the word

[Avistew]

Thanks for the correction. I guess it doesn't make it that much better for the female ducks then.