The Big Relationship Thread
- Elomin Sha
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
You know the signs you were assigned are wrong because the stars shifted from the original idea of the star sign.
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- My pseudonym is Ix
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
This has gone off-topic.
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not it after all."
- Elomin Sha
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
I don't know what youre talking about, porcupines covered in keso is an great idea.
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- Bebop Man
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Rikadyn wrote:That would probably have more to do with eastern zodiac...but as I said more or less curiosity. Everything he said I could say about myself as well, which i find funny...
We all have similar problems with ourselves and with others. I empathize with a lot of what he said and I'm not Aquarius.
Re: The Big Relationship Thread
My pseudonym is Ix wrote:Aquarius, if you must know. Although I would ask that you refrain from applying astrology to the situation.
Nothing to apply, was just going to find it funny if you were the same sign as me.
Anyway, Yea, you can give advice and the advice is good because you're always observing others and thinking about the things you want. It sucks because it's the distance from it that gives you the ability to help others. At the same time it's the distance from it that makes you a fucking mess when it comes to taking action for yourself in the situation.
Some times, you need to harness the depression and try and turn it to your favor, after all if you really feel like shit already, what do you have to lose if you fuck up trying to make it better and get what you want. See my last half dozen posts here. Not saying it works, because gods know right now I think it was a mistake to confess, but I can see how it could be positive.
I think in the end that is how we're supposed to learn about love and to be happy, by fucking up, and coming out the other side of it, better for the experience, even if the pain we are feeling at the time makes us doubt our reason for living.
Sometimes I find this a good essay to read, maybe you will too, maybe you won't but doesn't hurt.
http://crimethinc.com/texts/atoz/despair.php
the heart knows no greater tragedy than a breath that begins in love and ends in grief...
Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Cheated on the LDR. Ex was over, we had a few drinks, she leaned on me, wrapped her arm around me and I warned her what she might start doing. She agreed and we started making out. We stopped before even second base but tonight I called the LDR and told her what I did. I told her she'd be stupid for taking me back. That I won't see her for months and while the ex and I agreed no more alcohol because that could happen again I already broke the trust. Just hung up with her before she calls a really good friend to talk about it but if she decides to forgive me like an idiot, I might just pull the pin because she won't. she's probably bawling right now and that makes my chest hurt but dammit....
I'm an asshole.
I need alcohol.
I'm an asshole.
I need alcohol.
EJ wrote:Lyinginbedmon, I'm looking forward to when Paul or Graham reset your & Elomin's post count back to zero. If you keep it up it's bound to happen =p
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Buksvager!
Re: The Big Relationship Thread
You don't have to end a relationship because you messed up, you know. You know you messed up and you decided to take steps not to do it again. If she decides she can live with it, and if you still want a relationship with her, I'm not sure why you would have to pull the pin on it. To punish yourself? Because that's punishing her, too.
Either way, things happen. While it sucks when they do happen, it's also not the end of the relationship every single time. It's possible to rebuild from it and re-establish trust, if you're willing to make the effort.
Whatever happens, I hope things will be okay in the end and I'm sorry about the situation, which seems pretty shitty.
Either way, things happen. While it sucks when they do happen, it's also not the end of the relationship every single time. It's possible to rebuild from it and re-establish trust, if you're willing to make the effort.
Whatever happens, I hope things will be okay in the end and I'm sorry about the situation, which seems pretty shitty.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
I suppose the true cost of confessing has come to fruit. Alas it is a bitter fruit, and one I am not sure tasting was worth the growing. After all what a foolish notion is it to seek love where it does not exist. Nay it seems more to be simply selfish in nature to lay ones heart bear at the foot of another and expect them to even bother with you afterwards. But what is done is done, and the world moves on...
the heart knows no greater tragedy than a breath that begins in love and ends in grief...
- Jamfalcon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Heading back down to Tacoma for a bit over a week on Thursday, after having my girlfriend up twice over the holidays. I'm feeling better and better about this relationship all the time. Saturday will be our six month anniversary, and while that doesn't sound like long when I say it, I feel like (and have discussed with her, to mutual agreement) I've found the person I want to stay with forever. If I heard someone else saying that after this amount of time, at our age, I'd be skeptical, but... I don't know, it just seems right. My parents had only known each other for a year when the got married, so I know it's certainly not impossible.
I kinda wonder if the medium distance of the relationship has had a hand in accelerating the status of the whole rthing. We talked for a month online, met in person for one afternoon, and then the next time we saw each other in person it was for four days, and none of the subsequent visits have been any shorter. It takes long enough to get between our homes that it isn't feasible to do anything that doesn't involve spending days together, but we're close enough that can happen (when complications don't arise) every two or three weeks. So maybe that's a big part of why things are moving so quickly. In those six months, probably at least six weeks of time have been spent more or less living together.
Regardless of the how or why, and the annoyances and worries inherent in the distance and international aspect, I couldn't be happier with how things are going.
I kinda wonder if the medium distance of the relationship has had a hand in accelerating the status of the whole rthing. We talked for a month online, met in person for one afternoon, and then the next time we saw each other in person it was for four days, and none of the subsequent visits have been any shorter. It takes long enough to get between our homes that it isn't feasible to do anything that doesn't involve spending days together, but we're close enough that can happen (when complications don't arise) every two or three weeks. So maybe that's a big part of why things are moving so quickly. In those six months, probably at least six weeks of time have been spent more or less living together.
Regardless of the how or why, and the annoyances and worries inherent in the distance and international aspect, I couldn't be happier with how things are going.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
That sounds awesome, Jam. I know some of them feels, though you've got less of the distance disadvantage than I do. But yeah, super happy for you. *fistbumps for rapidly-progressing committed LDRs*
- Jamfalcon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Thanks! And yeah, while the two of us complain about how hard it is often enough that it would annoy anyone listening to us, I know it could be a lot worse. I don't know if I could handle your situation at all, seeing how difficult mine is. So a hearty fistbump for you too, this has given me even more respect for you.
- Bebop Man
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
First of all, congrats Jam Second, you probably want to spend more than 4 days at a time with a person before marrying them. They say it takes something like 3 months of cohabitation before you kinda know all you need to know about your partner. Travelling together is also another must. The idea is to face potential real-life problems together. Otherwise you only know how each behaves in their spare time, which is all dandy and in good fun, and doesn't really give you a whole picture.
Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Congrats Jam! Like Bebop said, just because you're madly in love doesn't mean you two should get married or sth. But I do think what you're experiencing is great and so kudos are in order.
- Jamfalcon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Thanks, both of you!
Oh, we're absolutely not going to rush into anything official. There's no way it's plausible to start even start seriously making plans for another year and a half. To be clear, four days were the shortest visits, some have been as long as nine, which I know is still far short of properly living together, but there has definitely been a lot of real life mixed in with the spare time. All that said I do agree with what you're saying, and appreciate the advice.
Oh, we're absolutely not going to rush into anything official. There's no way it's plausible to start even start seriously making plans for another year and a half. To be clear, four days were the shortest visits, some have been as long as nine, which I know is still far short of properly living together, but there has definitely been a lot of real life mixed in with the spare time. All that said I do agree with what you're saying, and appreciate the advice.
- Elomin Sha
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Highly melodramatic: confession date is locked. I am not deviating.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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- My pseudonym is Ix
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
So, story time. A few weeks ago, a female friend of mine took me to go watch a rugby game with her family; this weekend, I'm returning the favour and then we're going on holiday together with a coupled of others to celebrate the end of exams (an, y'know, enjoy one another's company in a nice part of the world). Normally this would be no particular cause for posting here, apart from the fact that my mum came up yesterday and, whilst I was relaying this story, asked completely out of the blue if I'd considered asking the girl in question out.
I'm not sure where she got the idea that we were attracted to one another from (we are friends first and foremost), but she arguably has a point; this girl is the only person I'm close to who enjoys rugby as much as I do, she's friendly, good company and all-round lovely person. I've occasionally entertained wild thoughts of asking her out (it's hardly a stretch for me to feel something towards a fellow rugby-mad engineer), but never thought them worth bothering with; as I said, we're friends first and foremost and her last relationship (with one of the guys we're holidaying with) ended amicably after she decided she saw him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.
So... that's a thing.
I'm not sure where she got the idea that we were attracted to one another from (we are friends first and foremost), but she arguably has a point; this girl is the only person I'm close to who enjoys rugby as much as I do, she's friendly, good company and all-round lovely person. I've occasionally entertained wild thoughts of asking her out (it's hardly a stretch for me to feel something towards a fellow rugby-mad engineer), but never thought them worth bothering with; as I said, we're friends first and foremost and her last relationship (with one of the guys we're holidaying with) ended amicably after she decided she saw him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.
So... that's a thing.
"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not it after all."
- Elomin Sha
- Posts: 15774
- Joined: 22 Feb 2008, 05:14
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
My little sister is so silly.
Walking home after getting some sweets for her. She asked me why someone in know wasn't my girlfriend.
"Because she has a boyfriend."
"You could kill him."
"Riiiiiiiight, let's run in front of this car." Which we did.
Walking home after getting some sweets for her. She asked me why someone in know wasn't my girlfriend.
"Because she has a boyfriend."
"You could kill him."
"Riiiiiiiight, let's run in front of this car." Which we did.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
- Elomin Sha
- Posts: 15774
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
The moment when a girls looks at you: ARGH, hide!
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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- Psyclone
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Did someone say rapidly-progressing committed LDRs?
So yeah I've somehow stumbled into a relationship in the last week. It's not something I ever thought I'd want, but it's great so far and I'm ridiculously happy and excited about it.
So yeah I've somehow stumbled into a relationship in the last week. It's not something I ever thought I'd want, but it's great so far and I'm ridiculously happy and excited about it.
They/them/their pronouns
twitch: armadillorampant
twitch: armadillorampant
- Jamfalcon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Fayili wrote:
And may I add:
- Elomin Sha
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
And in Elomin news I am attempting very poorly to ask a girl out.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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- Jamfalcon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Woah, good luck!
- Elomin Sha
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Thanks. May not work because our security guard said she may be heading to Cardiff University (30 miles away).
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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- Elomin Sha
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread
Having second thoughts.
Really hard trying to find a time and a way to ask.
Really hard trying to find a time and a way to ask.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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