The lame superpowers thread.

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Darkflame
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 09 Feb 2015, 08:16

Well, actually Beta Max Man was forgotten because he was too short and lacked Porn Man.....
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Anyway, some great ones here, but I think DC has got us beat...how have I never heard of this comic??;

All right, now this... this is the weird one. Ennis and McCrea introduced Section Eight in the pages of Hitman, one of the greatest DC Comics of all time, specifically as a team made up of the weirdest characters they could imagine. Here's the roster:

Six-Pack, whose main power is getting drunk and passing out in the gutter with hallucinations of defeating Darkseid

Bueno Excelente, who "fights crime with the power of perversion"

The Defenestrator, who looks like the Terminator and carries around a window -- just a window -- that he throws people through

Friendly Fire, who fires devastating energy bolts from his hands that only ever hit his allies

Jean de Baton-Baton, who is French

Flemgem, who has super-powered mucus

Shakes, who shakes

And maybe the greatest forgotten superhero ever,

Dogwelder, who welds dogs to people. Like, actual dogs. With a blowtorch. I have no idea how, but it is, shockingly, much less gruesome than it sounds, and it seems to bother his opponents a lot more than it bothers the dogs.


http://comicsalliance.com/dc-divergence ... ck=tsmclip

O_o
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Master Gunner
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Master Gunner » 10 Feb 2015, 05:17

Discontinued Currency Man: Has the ability to temporarily turn similarly sized pieces of paper into Canadian $1 bills.
TheRocket wrote:Apparently the crotch area could not contain the badonkadonk area.
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AdmiralMemo
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 10 Feb 2015, 13:11

Well, that could be still useful: Canadian $1 can still be spent, last time I checked.
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Master Gunner
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Master Gunner » 10 Feb 2015, 13:17

Legally, yes. But good luck trying to spend it - most people wouldn't recognize it these days. Pretty much all you could do is take it to the bank and exchange it, but banks can be suspicious of people exchanging large numbers of obsolete bills.
TheRocket wrote:Apparently the crotch area could not contain the badonkadonk area.
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AdmiralMemo
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 10 Feb 2015, 13:50

Yeah. When I was last in Vancouver, there were basically 3 reactions we got to spending old currency.

1. Old folks would just accept it.
2. Young folks would be all "I have to ask my manager." The manager would say "Yeah, sure. It's fine."
3. Asian folks would outright refuse to take it.

Then, since we were headed out to Alaska, we were trying to get rid of the Canadian currency we had. We saw a street performer and we stopped to watch him for a while. We put some of our old bills in his hat. He was excited and said "Hey! Old money! Alright!" Then, after we went back to the crowd, a big wind came up and blew his hat down and started blowing the bills all around the little park area. He stopped everything to go chase it, and I did too. Man, he really wanted that old money. :D
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Darkflame
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 10 Feb 2015, 14:51

How about the ability to turn real money into monopoly money?
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 11 Feb 2015, 05:08

The power to down vote stuff that people say out loud.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Robo4900 » 11 Feb 2015, 08:18

Troll man: With the ability to speak in all-caps.
(Secret identity: Xander Mobus)
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 11 Feb 2015, 08:45

Justice Man - Has a deep sense of justice but doesn't do anything about it.

Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:The power to down vote stuff that people say out loud.


Love it.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby TStodden » 11 Feb 2015, 12:08

Expiration Date Boy: With the ability to know when something (food, clothes, jokes, ext.) has JUST expired (or "gone bad").
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 11 Feb 2015, 15:21

Immortalise Culture. Stops nearby dairy products from going bad.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 11 Feb 2015, 22:03

The ability to always open or get passed packs with only the worst, most unplayable rares and no bombs or removal in booster draft. ANY booster draft: Magic, Yu-Gi-Oh!, that one game nobody's heard of...every time, without fail.

The power to roll a d20 and get a result of 20 at a slightly higher-than-normal rate, but to roll natural 1s every other time.

And this is my real-life alter-ego: The Rerun, a guy with the power to remember a scene from a TV episode, only for that episode to be the next one he watches within a week.
A wise man once said...something. I forget.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 12 Feb 2015, 03:18

Mayunfair.
Always land on Mayfair in a game of Monopoly.
Hope you buy it before anyone else.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 12 Feb 2015, 03:52

Blurguy, has the ability to make the sight of a single person very slightly blurry. But only if he can look into their eyes clearly.
THE DUTCH!! THE DUTCH AGAIN!!!!!
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby GamerZack87 » 13 Feb 2015, 00:03

The ability to get a huge piece of spinach stuck between your front teeth during every meal, even if that meal contains no spinach.

The power to always miss public transport by 10 seconds, even if you've been waiting at the stop for hours.
A wise man once said...something. I forget.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Robo4900 » 13 Feb 2015, 01:19

The ability to climb inside anything.

(The difficulty being climbing out)
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Ptangmatik » 13 Feb 2015, 05:40

The temporary ability to fly, like you can fly, but it might cut out at any moment

(Credit to the comedian Mark Watson)
Geoff_B wrote: ... Even for here, that was weird.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 14 Feb 2015, 09:27

Invisibility when you close your eyes.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 14 Feb 2015, 11:25

Wet man. Is always wet. ALWAYS
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 14 Feb 2015, 14:39

Dutch guy wrote:Wet man. Is always wet. ALWAYS


Wheadon beat you too it;
http://drhorrible.wikia.com/wiki/Moist

He got a song on the sing-along commentary track too;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YQuyV1iNmM
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 14 Feb 2015, 15:31

Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:Invisibility when you close your eyes.
That was already a power in "Mystery Men" :D
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 14 Feb 2015, 16:30

Still a lame power. Only good for on the spot vanishing. Unless you want to stumble your way round things.

Try doing a robbery and you can't see anything. You'd have to train your other senses despite not actually being dependent on it.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby TStodden » 14 Feb 2015, 23:40

Flatulence Man: The ability to pass gas at the most inopportune or most I appropriate moment.
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 15 Feb 2015, 00:30

Dulux Man. Can distinguish between very subtle shades of white.
Darkflame
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Re: The lame superpowers thread.

Postby Darkflame » 15 Feb 2015, 03:53

AdmiralMemo wrote:
Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:Invisibility when you close your eyes.
That was already a power in "Mystery Men" :D


Sort of different, that was invisible when no one else is looking.
Merrymakers is invisible provided you cant see where your going.

Not sure which is better really.
The mystery men one was at least good for getting past CCTV sensors if I remember right. But on the other hand, even standing still and being invisible can be useful in some situations.
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