This thread is so gay

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AlexanderDitto
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 23 Mar 2015, 14:29

Avistew wrote:but to be honest I've always wondered what gay men and women had in common (they're different genders who like different genders. Not much overlap here) or what either had in common with a straight trans person.


The focus is, I think, on shared experience: shared experience of not seeing yourself represented in media; in what are often troubled coming out processes; of being discriminated against legally and socially; of struggling to figure out how to have a relationship when you're not raised to know what one is supposed to look like; of figuring out who you are and what you like when your assigned gender doesn't quite fit, at least not out of the box. A lot of LGBT groups are about activism and fighting for visibility, representation, and legal protection, which is where LGBT people are all on common ground.

And, none of these things are directly related to the sex you have or don't have.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Timelady » 23 Mar 2015, 14:48

I also feel that one of the major reasons why asexuals might be looking to be included in LGBT spaces is that, to be quite honest, there aren't a whole lot of us out there. I can easily picture a college asexual group that would just be one or two people out for coffee once a week or something. Even if there's not much applicable advice to be had, an LGBT group that's used to encompassing a broad range of gender and sexual identities might be able to offer some moral support, breathing space, and a lot of resources that an ace person in isolation might not be able to easily source for themself otherwise.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Timelady » 23 Mar 2015, 15:00

AlexanderDitto wrote:Showing my ignorance, I'm not even sure what it means to be a het ace. Does that imply someone is hetero-romantic? Or just entirely asexual and aromantic? If just asexual and aromantic, would that be the same as homo ace (that... sounds wrong. Hom ace?)? I'm guessing there's no straightforward answer to this question, that it means something different for each person, which is fine! But that also means that groups have to be cautious, since the label doesn't mean the same thing for everyone.


In my experience--basically, what I've seen around the internet, it's usually a shortening of romantic and sexual identity. So "het ace" would be heteroromantic asexual, "het aro" would be heterosexual aromantic, "homo ace" (I think I usually see gay ace, though? ...Which is not to be confused with "gray ace," which is something totally different. XD) would be homoromantic asexual, "aro ace" (me!) is aromantic asexual, and so on, and so on. Does that make sense? Did I get something wrong anywhere? <3
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 23 Mar 2015, 16:37

Timelady wrote:I also feel that one of the major reasons why asexuals might be looking to be included in LGBT spaces is that, to be quite honest, there aren't a whole lot of us out there. I can easily picture a college asexual group that would just be one or two people out for coffee once a week or something. Even if there's not much applicable advice to be had, an LGBT group that's used to encompassing a broad range of gender and sexual identities might be able to offer some moral support, breathing space, and a lot of resources that an ace person in isolation might not be able to easily source for themself otherwise.


That is a good point I had not considered! When I spend a lot of time on the internet it's easy to forget that people are often spread out and isolated in real life. :(
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Timelady » 23 Mar 2015, 16:56

Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't think I've ever actually met anyone of my own orientation in person. Isn't that weird? Then again...I don't usually think of it that way, because of the internet. Which is a good thing, I guess?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 23 Mar 2015, 18:19

I think I have been a jerk and a dummy in this thread. I don't know what my problem was. I'm sorry, Fayili.

If ace people have challenges and feel oppressed by the current system and identify as queer, who am I to judge their queerness? Jeez, I should get over myself. Everybody get under the umbrella. No jerks allowed.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 23 Mar 2015, 18:23

Hey, no, it's understandable. It can feel like people trying to muscle in and make the space theirs. But I think in this case that's just not the case. I'm glad you think so, too!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Wolfwood723 » 04 Apr 2015, 10:09

Hello all, finally being honest with myself and my likes and desires I find that I am bisexual (I'm a male btw) which is all well and good but I need a bit of help.

How do I go about coming out to my best friend? I am in no way attracted to him so thats not an issue but I want him to take me seriously and not think I'm joking or its just a phase.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 04 Apr 2015, 14:07

Wolfwood723 wrote:Hello all, finally being honest with myself and my likes and desires I find that I am bisexual (I'm a male btw) which is all well and good but I need a bit of help.

How do I go about coming out to my best friend? I am in no way attracted to him so thats not an issue but I want him to take me seriously and not think I'm joking or its just a phase.


First of all, congratulations for being able to figure out a bit more about yourself. It's tough!

Coming out is hard. Terribly hard, especially if you've never done it before.

I don't think there's much advice I can give other than I would encourage your first time coming out to be to a person who you know is going to accept you and respond well to it (this can be hard) and try to find a time when you can hang out and talk in person with nobody else around to distract. I guess also be honest about why you're coming out: is it for support? Because bottling it up is eating away at you? This will avoid the "I'm attracted to you" assumptions if they do arise, since it's not that.

If he's a good friend, he'll be supportive. That's what friends do.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby cuddlyblade » 06 Apr 2015, 13:04

Congrats on finally being able to be honest with yourself and all that.

The only advice I can think to give is don't spring it on the person out of nowhere and avoid doing it while drunk, that's one I have experience with and lets just say it didn't exactly go to plan.

If he's a bad friend he might blame you for your coming out for ruining his chances with a girl who was never interested in him in the first place.

Also good luck hope it all goes well for you.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Wolfwood723 » 11 Apr 2015, 08:23

Well that went well. My friend was cool about the whole thing, and I made it clear off the bat that there is zero attraction from me so I'm sure that eased the situation. He even went on to say he would by my dd and straight wing man if I ever wanted to hit up the gay bars around here.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby cuddlyblade » 11 Apr 2015, 11:15

Glad to hear it went so well for you. Seems like you have a pretty awesome friend :).
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 22 Apr 2015, 09:27

It's been a while since I posted here!

So, the guy I was saying I was into back in November? Yeah, he's now my boyfriend :) It all finally came to a head back in January and we've been together since then. We're still working out the kinks I think - he's rather solitary and introvert, but we're getting there. This is also, I believe, his first serious relationship, so.

In that time I've also gotten my passport sorted out and a flight booked to go see him in August for three weeks! I'll be staying with him and his family which will be ... interesting.

We've spoken a LOT though and honestly I've been more open with him than I've been with, well, anyone really. Which I think has helped a lot.

I'm trying to respect his solitary and introverted nature, and the fact that - for a variety of reasons I don't feel right going into - he's not entirely comfortable with big outward displays of emotion, but any words of advice from like minded people with regards to that would be great.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Elomin Sha » 22 Apr 2015, 10:41

Congratulations.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 22 Apr 2015, 13:50

I'm an introvert but I do feel emotion and I like to express affection.
Just I am reserved about it and only express it to very few.

e.g. I am very huggy of my family and Spanish friend, but not really huggy of anyone else (probably because I view my Spanish friend as family and despite being comfortable with my sexuality, it doesn't feel right to publicly hug my other male friends).

Then again, I could also be one type of introvert among many.
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What I like is someone being gentle and patient with me. I like to listen, but I also don't like a conversation being dominated by the other person. I might be quiet, but I like to know if I can, I can say things.

Be gentle and patient.
Also, grats :)
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 24 Jun 2015, 10:40

I've spent way too much time away form the forums since LRR stopped doing the weekly videos and such. Figured it'd be nice to come back and revive my favorite thread!

So.. who's got gay stuff to talk about? :)
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 24 Jun 2015, 11:13

Aeric! I've got nothing actively gay going on, but I'm sitting around being passively queer. Also probs gonna get an undercut, so at least I'll LOOK queerer.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 24 Jun 2015, 11:48

I have nothing gay to contribute Aeric (as a boringly straight person), but browsing your twitter I've just learnt you're into rugby, so I am now feeling rather warm and pleased about the world.

Please resume your regularly scheduled discussion, everybody
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 24 Jun 2015, 14:08

I have nothing gay to contribute. Got a benchmark of love which I can use to know when I am infatuated by someone of any gender. That's it.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Volafortis » 24 Jun 2015, 20:48

I might go briefly to Twin Cities Pride this weekend, so that might be fun, depends on how much free time I find myself with while I'm in the cities. Beyond that, nothing much going on with my bisexuality. Going back to school this fall though, so I might actually get to form an LGBT peer group, so that's nice. Beyond that, hitting 6 months on hormones this Saturday, so that's fun as well.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 25 Jun 2015, 01:11

Oh, I saw some stats the other week saying that there are slightly more bisexual people in America than homosexual.

This I find helpful because I have never been infatuated with someone who was homosexual. It has been someone who did have an interest in women, and part of me hoped that would be interested in men potentially.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 25 Jun 2015, 05:43

It's always been difficult to get accurate statistics about sexuality and as social acceptance changes so will the number of people willing to admit without fear that they are a sexual minority and more people will be open to accepting that they might not necessarily be a strong Kinsey 0s. So there's hope!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 25 Jun 2015, 08:22

I wish real life was like video games. You could look into the code to find out which gender they're attracted you.

I know you can do a thing called "ask". But where I live, it's a very Heterosexual area. People might lie and deny (because they have not rationalised their feelings yet) or genuinely get offended.

So you have to do this weird thing of reserving your feelings towards someone of the same gender to avoid disappointment. I went full on crush on someone for over a year and when that got resolved it fucking hurt. Made worse that he didn't maintain the friendship we had.

An aspect might be due to this area being traditionally a very Christian area. Therefore you had old opinions of sexual morality affecting people opinions now, even though the default faith around here is atheism. There's still that culture.

I think there is a community of people who are gay or bisexual in this area, but I don't feel compelled to seek them. I am not going out of my way to seek a relationship because I don't think I would be good for anyone in a relationship, so I'd rather wait and see what happens. I am indifferent about the gender of a person who'd I'd happily be in a relationship with (my logic is that if I meet a man I love enough, I won't mind having biological children. Even then I can foster/adopt a child or two who really need a loving family home).

Until I see concrete evidence from God that a homosexual relationship is sinful, I will keep being open to being in a relationship with a man. I won't say more because Christianity and Homosexuality can cause boom affects when they mix. I don't think it should. But at least people have passion.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 26 Jun 2015, 06:34

Well didn't I bring this thread back at just the right time...

U.S. Supreme Court rules in favour of same-sex marriage!

Happy Pride U.S.A.! Hopefully this starts to topple the other dominoes on statewide equality for all LGBT folks.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 26 Jun 2015, 06:59

I'm glad. It seems illogical to make it illegal to be married as a couple of the same gender.

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