This thread is so gay
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Re: This thread is so gay
Thanks for your sympathy everyone, and again thanks for listening to my problems. It helps.
I really think I am pretty much over it. I cried a ton this past week, it was really bad, but I am fine now. I guess if they don't want a relationship with me, only "him", then I guess we wont be seeing each other much for the time being. Hopefully they change their minds and things change in the future. But I'm ok. Thanks again for the concern and sympathy.
I really think I am pretty much over it. I cried a ton this past week, it was really bad, but I am fine now. I guess if they don't want a relationship with me, only "him", then I guess we wont be seeing each other much for the time being. Hopefully they change their minds and things change in the future. But I'm ok. Thanks again for the concern and sympathy.
She/her please
Re: This thread is so gay
I thought I posted a message to you, Camel, but now I don't see it. I was saying that I'm sorry so much of your family isn't accepting, and that I hope they'll turn around, as some people do once they get used to the idea. And I'm glad your wife and your sister are there to support you. Good luck with your journey!
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Re: This thread is so gay
Thanks, the support of everyone here really makes a difference.
She/her please
- Arclight_Dynamo
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Re: This thread is so gay
I've mentioned before that I'm not out as bi with my family. Part of that reason is, frankly, my mother. As it turns out, she has something against bi people, specifically.
Great.
In the past, she's said things like "they're only doing it for the attention," and has doubted that bisexuals exist at all.
And, yesterday, she was having a chat with my sister, who has a number of gay, bi, pan, and trans friends. Somehow the topic of bisexuality came up, and (according to my sister, who I'm getting this from third-hand) Mom basically pulled a face like she'd bitten into a lemon. My sister, who's aware of this thing Mom has against bisexuals, confronted her over it. She wanted to know where the hell this was coming from.
I swear, this is what she told her:
The problem is butt sex, apparently. Or, more specifically, a dude having anal intercourse with another dude, then, at a later time, having vaginal intercourse with a woman.
This is, apparently, revolting.
My sister was kind of dumbfounded by it, and she said as much to me when we talked. We both then went over why it makes no sense - What about a bisexual woman? What about a bisexual man who is exclusively a bottom in same-sex intercourse? What about a straight couple who are into anal sex?
But... seriously? This is the problem my mother has?
Ugh.
The really weird part is that she's totally fine with gay and lesbian people. I even think she's more accepting of trans people than she is of bi people, which is probably a bit of an oddity. I'm pretty sure she's helped by positive exposure in media, which gay and lesbian people have been getting for some time in Canada, and which trans people have been getting recently (probably since Caitlyn Jenner came out as trans) here, too.
But bi people? No media coverage. It defaults to gay and lesbian people, and when same-sex marriage or Pride comes up, the assumed emphasis is on them as well, rather than bisexuals. It's all L and G, with hardly any B - when a same-sex couple gets married, they're assumed to be gay or lesbian, not bi. Christ, it's often even called gay marriage, rather than same-sex marriage, which cuts bi and pan people out entirely.
That's bi erasure for you.
The other thing is that I'm 100% certain that, if I did come out to my family, I'd be supported. No questions asked. My sister is entirely cool with these things, and my Mom would accept it because, hey, she loves me. She might have misgivings, though, and I'd always be suspicious she thinks I'm revolting, deep down.
So... yeah. This kinda blows.
Great.
In the past, she's said things like "they're only doing it for the attention," and has doubted that bisexuals exist at all.
And, yesterday, she was having a chat with my sister, who has a number of gay, bi, pan, and trans friends. Somehow the topic of bisexuality came up, and (according to my sister, who I'm getting this from third-hand) Mom basically pulled a face like she'd bitten into a lemon. My sister, who's aware of this thing Mom has against bisexuals, confronted her over it. She wanted to know where the hell this was coming from.
I swear, this is what she told her:
The problem is butt sex, apparently. Or, more specifically, a dude having anal intercourse with another dude, then, at a later time, having vaginal intercourse with a woman.
This is, apparently, revolting.
My sister was kind of dumbfounded by it, and she said as much to me when we talked. We both then went over why it makes no sense - What about a bisexual woman? What about a bisexual man who is exclusively a bottom in same-sex intercourse? What about a straight couple who are into anal sex?
But... seriously? This is the problem my mother has?
Ugh.
The really weird part is that she's totally fine with gay and lesbian people. I even think she's more accepting of trans people than she is of bi people, which is probably a bit of an oddity. I'm pretty sure she's helped by positive exposure in media, which gay and lesbian people have been getting for some time in Canada, and which trans people have been getting recently (probably since Caitlyn Jenner came out as trans) here, too.
But bi people? No media coverage. It defaults to gay and lesbian people, and when same-sex marriage or Pride comes up, the assumed emphasis is on them as well, rather than bisexuals. It's all L and G, with hardly any B - when a same-sex couple gets married, they're assumed to be gay or lesbian, not bi. Christ, it's often even called gay marriage, rather than same-sex marriage, which cuts bi and pan people out entirely.
That's bi erasure for you.
The other thing is that I'm 100% certain that, if I did come out to my family, I'd be supported. No questions asked. My sister is entirely cool with these things, and my Mom would accept it because, hey, she loves me. She might have misgivings, though, and I'd always be suspicious she thinks I'm revolting, deep down.
So... yeah. This kinda blows.
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Re: This thread is so gay
That is the strangest reason I have ever seen for someone being anti bi. Also, bi erasure absolutely sucks.
She/her please
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Re: This thread is so gay
I mean, you could talk about how a lot of people with vaginas are into both anal and vaginal play so the same fingers/implements could have been in both over time, but... yeah. :/ That sucks.
- Arclight_Dynamo
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Re: This thread is so gay
Thanks, folks. I'm not that broken up about it - mostly just perplexed and annoyed. Felt good to be able to vent, though.
But... yeah. I think I'm going to avoid talking to my mother about the (ahem) ins and outs of anal sex.
But... yeah. I think I'm going to avoid talking to my mother about the (ahem) ins and outs of anal sex.
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Re: This thread is so gay
I think that sounds like a solid plan. I know that is not a conversation I would care to have with my mother.
Honestly it sounds like the kind of thing that is based entirely on squick she has not had to overcome yet for any reason and once she has a reason she will deal with it.
Honestly it sounds like the kind of thing that is based entirely on squick she has not had to overcome yet for any reason and once she has a reason she will deal with it.
She/her please
- Arclight_Dynamo
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Re: This thread is so gay
That sounds right, frankly.
I mean, years ago, I know she was in the "Be gay all you want, but keep it out of my face" crowd. But since LGBT issues have been covered in a more positive light in the mainstream media over the past decade or so, she's come around to be entirely fine with gay and lesbian people. And I'm seeing the same thing happen with her about trans issues, right now.
So, yeah, I think you're right - if I came out to her, she'd be confronted with it, and would need to think about some things. And I'm convinced she'd come around pretty quickly.
Still, this is why I mentioned bi erasure and the lack of coverage of bi issues in the media. This thing with my mother is the end result of all of that.
I mean, years ago, I know she was in the "Be gay all you want, but keep it out of my face" crowd. But since LGBT issues have been covered in a more positive light in the mainstream media over the past decade or so, she's come around to be entirely fine with gay and lesbian people. And I'm seeing the same thing happen with her about trans issues, right now.
So, yeah, I think you're right - if I came out to her, she'd be confronted with it, and would need to think about some things. And I'm convinced she'd come around pretty quickly.
Still, this is why I mentioned bi erasure and the lack of coverage of bi issues in the media. This thing with my mother is the end result of all of that.
- aeric90
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Re: This thread is so gay
So it's been a while since I've posted anything here though I have lots to update.
Back in November I started dating this awesome guy (on the right for those who don't know me):
His name is Stuart and I've known him for about 6 years when he first moved to Toronto from Australia and decided to play hockey (without ever having put on skates before).
Next month we move in together which is a first for me. I've never lived with a partner before. There are certain precautions we've taken like having a lot of space so we each have our own personal areas when we need them. We're also making all the decisions together which is good. Anyone have any other advice for me?
Back in November I started dating this awesome guy (on the right for those who don't know me):
His name is Stuart and I've known him for about 6 years when he first moved to Toronto from Australia and decided to play hockey (without ever having put on skates before).
Next month we move in together which is a first for me. I've never lived with a partner before. There are certain precautions we've taken like having a lot of space so we each have our own personal areas when we need them. We're also making all the decisions together which is good. Anyone have any other advice for me?
- Jamfalcon
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Re: This thread is so gay
No advice here, but that's awesome news, congratulations!
Re: This thread is so gay
Grats! No advice from me either, I have little experience dating people I don't live with
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- Merrymaker_Mortalis
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- Elomin Sha
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Re: This thread is so gay
Congratulations.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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https://displate.com/elominsha/galleries
If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
- aeric90
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Re: This thread is so gay
So we started the move yesterday. So excited and nervous!
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- Psyclone
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Re: This thread is so gay
Congrats! I've never lived with a partner either but I'm excited for you and it seems like you're planning well.
They/them/their pronouns
twitch: armadillorampant
twitch: armadillorampant
- Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay
The Doctor Who Spin-off lead character is Gay. He is also in a relationship with another primary cast member.
This is awesome.
I'm just annoyed that they hooked up so easily because they didn't have any of this awkward wondering if each other is seeking a relationship with another guy; which I relate to.
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Danced with a guy in a Ceilidh on Friday evening. Sadly had to leave after two dances. I really liked him and we got along very well. I think of him a lot and the idea of being with him excites me. I just don't know where he stands. He is open to holding hands with me whilst dancing. I reallllly like him. I don't know when I will see him again. I like him enough to willingly out myself if it means we can be together.
This is awesome.
I'm just annoyed that they hooked up so easily because they didn't have any of this awkward wondering if each other is seeking a relationship with another guy; which I relate to.
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Danced with a guy in a Ceilidh on Friday evening. Sadly had to leave after two dances. I really liked him and we got along very well. I think of him a lot and the idea of being with him excites me. I just don't know where he stands. He is open to holding hands with me whilst dancing. I reallllly like him. I don't know when I will see him again. I like him enough to willingly out myself if it means we can be together.
Re: This thread is so gay
D'aww, that's adorable. Have you seen him again? Did anything progress with him?
- Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay
Not yet... I hope to. We have mutual friends.
He's a christian like me, so if he's into guys, into me and single that would be super awesome.
He's a christian like me, so if he's into guys, into me and single that would be super awesome.
Re: This thread is so gay
My fingers are crossed for you!
- Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay
Worst case scenario I now have a Christian friend who is comfortable. An ally.
Re: This thread is so gay
Any reason you keep spoilering that word? I keep having the "what if it's a spoiler for something I haven't consumed yet?!" fear every time I click, and it's not like it's a bad word or something.
Check out my webcomic, The Meddlers! (Currently not updating)
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