Or Story Guy.

I should change my name to Minister Fiend, because I got ordained so I could officiate my BFFs wedding.

Your wedding was seven years ago, stop trying to make your friends' wedding about you. This is exactly the reason why you weren't made a bridesmaid. It is comical how narcissistic you are sometimes.

But seriously, today was one of those days where it felt like we were in The Sims and the player was asking themself "What else can we do to fuck with them?"

If I lived in GTA 5 today would have ended with me and my BFF going on a flamethrower and rocket launcher rampage.

Sometimes when you've had vodka you let your friend put makeup on you.

This time I was sober.

You ever heard of the McGangbang from the "Secret" McDonalds menu? It's a McChicken sandwiched inside a McDouble. I wanted that, but I wanted better than McDs. So I stopped by Five Guys and Chick Fil A and made The Clogginator. With added fried egg because bite me. http://i.imgur.com/lrBf2...

The only thing I hate more than ice is not being allowed to use Ice Melt on it because "we don't want to ruin the brickwork."

Men like Nimoy never really leave us.

Black Dynamite

SHAME SHAME SHAEM

BLOOD AND ICE CREAM AT THE ALAMO

I like to think Cecil was punk/rockabilly kid in his youth, hence the tattoos. Not really digging the Third Eye thing.

I have eaten and enjoyed squirrel pie. Tastes like squirrel and gravy.

I fixed my PC by stabbing it. For reals. Got to the Alamo ten minutes before showtime. There were only three tickets left, so it was a good thing my date bailed on me. The seats weren't together(Badass Digest shows are assigned seating), but we managed to get someone to switch seats. Got to see A Cl...

A Story About You is my favorite.

Mimm smells like apricots.

Oooooh, nasty!

Worked 4am till 1230pm yesterday, still didn't get home in time to catch the EMS truck.
Worked till 530pm today, stopped at the post office to pick up the package. Post office closes at 5pm.

If the entire management team of one of your departments is actively seeking other employment, you need to ask yourself what, as a company, you are doing wrong, and how you can fix it. You can start by not locking one of your assistant managers in the freezer and later accuse him of falsifying docum...

In a similar vein of Empath... How the FUCK am I supposed to run a department with only two fucking people? I need THREE at a minimum. I can't get shit done PERIOD let alone EFFICIENTLY with only TWO FUCKING PEOPLE on a DELIVERY DAY especially when those one of them is THE SECOND MOST WORTHLESS MOTH...

Waxed Gaithersburg
Pummel Knuckles